WIBU to lie to my Doctor about length of TTC?

[ButterflyBird]

DH and I are TTC with no luck. Becoming a mum is all I've ever wanted and it's making me feel so empty and miserable.

Here's a bit of back story...

I have been on the pill/had the implant/then went back on the pill since we starting dating so a total of 8 years. We decided we wanted to TTC in September 2016, so to give us a bit of a head start I came off the pill in June 2016.

Since then I had a short AF in August and then again in September but nothing since. We’ve been having sex every 2-3 days and I’m keeping a log of my BBT. My temperature has spiked for 1-2 days a month each month but when I take an ovulation test it reads negative. We’re now in Janaury and still no BFP, and without periods it’s making life even more difficult

DH had a test for his swimmers and they're completely fine.

I was tested a little while ago for PCOS which came back negative (not for fertility reason - my hair was thinning and GP suggested we check, ended up being stress related which has no returned to normal).

My sister was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure a few years ago, and while I've been told it's not genetic and shouldn't affect me I'm worried it might have

I'm going to give it until March and if nothing has happened by then I'm planning to visit my GP.

WIBU to tell a white lie to my GP and say we've been TTC for a year by that point? Would she take me more seriously? I'm worried she'll tell me we've not been trying long enough and to come back after a year of doing so - happened to one of my colleagues.

Also what steps to GPs usually take? Do they just refer you to fertility specialist?

Thank you x

Just seen this and joined mumsnet to ask you whether you've tried taking Agnus Castus?

I came off the pill and my periods were all over the place so I started taking Agnus Castus (I took drops in a glass of water) and my periods straight away became much more regular. I weaned myself off it after 4 months or so and then we conceived August 2016 (unfortunately ended in a miscarriage but I doubt that's related!).

I know it's been mentioned in a few threads but thought I'd mention it to you, because it really helped me when I came off the pill.

Good luck.

Get a blood test to check your prolactin levels. They can often be high after coming off the contraceptive pill and can stop you ovulating. If the levels are found to be high they can give you medication to reduce them and your periods will slowly come back to normal. I have very high prolactin levels (4000+ when it's supposed to be 80-250) and when I've tried to conceive my two dc I've been under the care of an endocrinologist taking Dostinex and something else I can't remember and within 18 months I was pregnant each time.

My friend told me a vegan diet would help.

Should I lie to my doctor?

Oh please, get a grip.

It would be wrong and take an appointment from someone who has been trying for a year. You are very young and might only have ovulated once in the time you have been ttc! And the fertility treatment bandwagon is no fun at all - don't jump on it before you need to. You will prodded and poked and have unpleasant investigations. It's stressful. Give it a full year but in the mean time ask for the absence of periods to be investigated.

A vegan diet is probably not helping unless you are eating very carefully. Some IVF clinics recommend a high protein diet when ttc. Many vegan diets are not.

Yes you are being unreasonable.
You've only been trying for 4 months so to lie and jump the queue in front of couples who have been waiting years is very selfish.
Try for another 6-8 months and go and see your GP in the meantime

If you are a new vegan, make sure you are eating well and balancing your meals. I'm vegan, and it does require a fair bit of practise to get your diet healthy.
I would go to your doctor about your lack of periods, but I wouldn't say you've been trying for a year, because as PPs mention, how will you account for periods during that time? By the time the ball is rolling and they are looking for reasons why you are not having periods, you may even find they start again.

Remember that you won't have periods if your body weight is too low - mine stopped at a BMI of 19.2 - so even if you're above 18, this could still be a factor.

Yes it would be wrong to lie. As I'm sure you're aware, it can take some time to conceive so no joy after 7 months off the pill is not medically considered to be cause for concern, though I know just how frustrating and worrying it can be. You mentioned stress causing hair loss in your post, stress is known to inhibit your chances of conceiving. I would recommend trying to live as healthy a lifestyle as possible (you may wish to review being vegan too) and enjoy yourself as much as you can. Try not to become obsessed with TTC as it can take over your life. Go to see the GP after a year if you've had no success.

To put things in perspective, over two years after starting TTC I suffered a ruptured ectopic pregnancy resulting in the loss of one of my tubes (I'd also had an earlier failed pregnancy one year after starting TTC). Obviously having one tube reduced my chances of conceiving and the GP said I could be referred for tests after trying again for at least 6 months. We were referred but I didn't actually get tested as I became successfully pregnant. Would you consider it reasonable to lie and jump the queue of people like me with known, or unknown, issues who've been trying for a lot longer?
I know how all consuming TTC can be and I wish you every success.

Go now and explain you haven't got regular periods. They may have to kick start them for you.

I've had infertility and got through it. definitly go and tell the GP about the lack of periods. Show him/her the charts (which will probably be beyond him/her) and mention the lack of positive opk's.

Don't wait for the year to be up. Your cycle clearly isn't good enough

If the pill took time to get out of your system, no one would ever get pregnant by missing one or two.

Also please stay away from fools such as your vegan mate. Did she flick her hair right through school?

And no, don't lie. Wait your turn . especially at 26!!

I lied and I would recommend it to anyone!
Said we had been trying a year when it was 8 month, so glad I did. Cos now we'll have been trying 2 years this May and I'm already on the list. It gets the ball rolling, it took nearly 5 month from GP to first hospital appointment!
All this bullocks about saying it's not fair on other people bla bla -ignore it. If you do by any chance fall pregnant in the mean time, and turns out there's nothing wrong, then some other lucky couple will get your appointment and have theirs quicker than expected
Good luck

All this bullocks about saying it's not fair on other people bla bla -ignore it.

That's a brave fucking nasty thing to post on a thread in INFERTILITY where people have done the right thing and not lied to their doctor.

Hi All,

Thank you for all your replies

One thing I didn't mention was that the pill I was on was Cerazette which you have to take continuously, and it stopped my periods completely which is meant to be a normal side effect, but it meant I didn't have a period for 5 years before my breakthrough bleed in August which is why I'm so worried.

Sorry if my question upset anyone, it wasn't my intention at all, I'm completely new to everything fertility related and was just thinking hypothetically.

I think I'll tell my GP the truth about how long we've been trying for but make the appointment more about my lack of periods, which I think in and of itself is my main concern at the moment.

In the meantime I'll give the Agnus Castus stuff a try, thank you for recommending

Don't start the Angus castus until you've had a blood test and spoken to the gp. If you do have high prolactin levels that require prescription medication you won't get a proper result and may also have to wait for the Angus to leave your system before you can start the prescription tablets (from experience).

If the pill took time to get out of your system, no one would ever get pregnant by missing one or two.

Sorry, but this is absolute bollocks, both from a logical and scientific point of view. Yes, some people still get pregnant when they take, or miss, a contraceptive pill but it has absolutely nothing to do with the drug not being in their system at all.

Or rather the effects of the drug will still be there, and can be there long after you stop taking them. (It depends on the drug and ones that affect your hormones can have long lasting effects)

No don't lie. You are very young so please don't panic.

I have to say I'm not convinced a vegan diet will help anything. You need a good balanced diet!

I'd go to the gp and discuss your lack of periods and explain you are ttc.

Yes IMO YABVVU. The 'rules' are there to provide as equal as possible service, that gets the most cost-effective results, with a very limited budget. By lying you will be untruthfully jumping the queue and in doing so you will be taking the opportunity to have a baby away from another person who wants a baby just as much as you do, and who potentially needs this treatment where potentially you don't. This is cheating someone else out of their chance and potentially wasting precious NHS money.
I don't normally get stroppy (on MN or in RL) but TBH I can't believe you're even asking this!

It can take up to a year for a healthy couple with no issues to get pregnant.

Calm down. You've loads of time, I don't understand the rush.

To be fair on the OP her sister did have premature ovarian failure which would scare most people.

But yes, I concur with everyone saying try not to panic - I would go to your GP and mention the lack of periods for sure, but don't lie about the length you've TTC or length of time you've been off the pill. Your GP may point to your change in diet as a potential cause so mention that to him/her as it is relevant. Good luck!

The POP such as Cerazette doesn't "stay in your system". That's why you have to take it every single day.

Some progesterones such as the depo-provera injection can have a delaying effect on fertility, but not the oral contraceptive pill.

Yes, some women find their natural menstrual cycle takes a little while to get back to a regular pattern after they stop using oral hormones, but it's not necessarily because there are any hormones left in your system. It could be that your cycle would have been irregular anyway, but that has been masked by the artificial hormones.

I think it is not unreasonable to see a GP routinely and discuss the lack of regular periods; however lying about how long you've been TTC benefits no-one really as you could potentially end up undergoing painful, invasive investigations or taking unnecessary medication when you had absolutely no reason to, even without factoring in the ethical discussion of "queue jumping". You need an honest, open relationship with your healthcare providers.

It can take healthy couples with no fertility problems up to a year to conceive. THIS IS NORMAL. At the tender age of 26 the odds are in your favour. Good luck.

I can't believe the pushiness and dishonesty of those who say 'yes, lie' and that they do it all the time.
No wonder this country the NHS and everything are in such a poor state if lying gets some selfish people what they want
OP that is not directed at you - I hope you get what you hope for but really time is very much on your side and there is no need to lie.

I'd second the suggestion about making sure your bmi is normal. I struggle to keep mine around 18.5-19, I have to eat a LOT as if it dips below then it affects my cycles