Hi there. Just wanna start by saying my head is all over the place.
I am scared. I haven't been to get any tests done yet as I was hoping that once I distressed my life, we would conceive.
I have been off the pill for over 3 1/2 years now and nothing....
I know I need to lose weight and my partner needs to stop smoking.
I really don't know what to say and ask when I go see my doctor (this will be a new doc as I moved out of the catchment area for my old one )
I'm scared she won't help me as my partner already has a 15 year old.
I have suffered from depression in the past and I just don't want that to surface again if i get bad news.
So to conclude... I'm scared and confused.
Can someone help me with what info I need before I go into an appointment with the doc...
Thank u...
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Millie9019 · 01/01/2017 16:14
She should help with basic investigations, but you probably wouldn't qualify for any NHS IVF due to your DPs child. However many areas don't help at all with IVF anyway.
I do sympathise, it's very difficult to keep feeling hopeful when you have been trying to get pregnant for so long. I would suggest going in to see the GP with your plan of how you are aiming to lose weight if you know you need to, as this will be one of the first things they consider. Or if you feel you need help to do this then just ask! Hopefully then they will also look at other factors too, but having a BMI in the right range has been shown to have an impact on fertility so you may find it fixes the problem. Also some moderate exercise (walking etc) would be generally helpful for your health and may help avoid your depression resurfacing. Good luck with it all 
Hi OP.
Firstly, try not to stress too much about it.
When you go to the GP, be factual. Tell them you've been ttc for over 3 years with your partner but not gotten pregnant. If you have regular periods / cycles or if there are any patterns you notice, tell them that too.
It is likely that all they'll do is refer you to your local gynae ward / service.
If they are willing, ask to have your day 3 and 21 bloods taken. This is blood tests on day 3 and 21 of your cycles to measure progesterone and it will tell you if you're ovulating.
Start tracking cycles if you don't already. How long are they? Note when you dtd. You can also measure cervical mucus which may help. There are apps to help with this.
When you get to your referral appointment, it is likely that they will redo your blood tests and send your DP for sperm analysis. The fact that he has a dc won't matter at this stage - what they want to establish is if there are any issues with you or him so that they can plan the best way forward for you.
From there, you will be presented with options. It could be further tests, hormone tablets / injections, ICSI or IVF.
Take your time. I would strongly suggest writing down any questions you want to ask and taking them with you. I took DP with me and had him ask the questions and write down the answers as I got flustered and couldn't concentrate.
Once you have a clearer idea what you're dealing with, I would look if there is an active thread here to join (I have PCOS and found the pcos thread amazing as people posted about what their doctors were doing, what worked for them and were just generally supportive when you needed it)
Good luck
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