To those without kids - how do you feel when you wake up on a Saturday morning?

[SniffleCentral]

I always feel flat. Weekends seem a bit 'meh'. Of course, I think wistfully about the 'bustlingness' that I imagine to happen in households with kids.

Doesn't help that DH isn't very dynamic round the house i.e. he's not up early busying himself round the house doing things.

It's 9.15am and I've got up and made myself a cup of tea and just feel like I might as well go back to bed. I'm not sure if I can cope with a lifetime of this. And yes, I probably need to develop a weekend morning hobby. I used to run, but I have a bad knee .

We are thinking of adoption, but sometimes I wonder if it's fair to adopt to give 'me' something (ie. fill an empty life). Adoption should be about the child.

I also feel very old and creaky and wonder if I have the energy. I'm 40 in six months.

Just wondering if there are any others out there who feel the same .

Chocolate that's a really good idea - making a list of things to do in advance. I'm going to try that! Because it's so easy to end up doing nothing.

sniffle I adopted after years on the infertility merry go round. The best/only reason to adopt is that you really, really, really want a child. 'Saving' a kid really doesn't come into it and social services would, I think, not give much time to anyone who said that was their reason.

And honestly, anti depressants aren't going to stop them approving you anyway. They'd want to know you were well, and they like knowing that you know when you need help and ask for it. That said, I did exactly the same as you and soldiered on when I probably shouldn't have.

If you want to talk more, there's lots of lovely people on the adoption board.

To answer your question, at around the age you are now, all my friends were 50ish, because their children were older or moved out, so we had a good social life for people ten years older than us.

Adoption is a great idea, but there are so many hoops, and even that is not guaranteed. Having to have experience with children in order to adopt would be a none starter for us. I mean, come on, I don't have access to kids to have experience, and my other half certainly doesn't. Adoption is loaded against us from the start.

I don't want to bang the adoption drum because I know how annoying it is when people suggest it, and I only mentioned it because OP did. However, don't rule yourself out for reasons that mostly aren't true, like that one.

(There are plenty other reasons to rule yourself out, including that you just don't want to.)

How are you doing sniffle? Do you have much planned for this coming weekend? I've got a quiet one ahead and I'm already trying to plan how to fill it but without being socialable. I don't think I can handle too much being with people. It's my first day back at work today so we'll see how that goes.

Thanks all, I hadn't seen there were more posts on this thread. Pleasant surprise! Thank you all for the encouraging thoughts on adoption. I think I may get that adoption book that I've seen people mention here recently. Susan something? Will need to google to see if I can remember her surname / find it.

I'm doing okay, thanks tldr. Work is keeling me busy, though it's a difficult time of year for the childfree...Christmas seems so family oriented!

Sally Donovan? She writes it like it is...

(DH and I used to hole up for Christmas and come out again on about the 30th... Good luck, I do remember how horrible it could be. )

Sniffle, it's so so hard . I remember one Saturday evening DH and I went out for dinner. It was a treat place, I was all dressed up ... But I just couldn't enjoy it. It felt pointless, a charade, and I and wanted to go home and hide away. That was a low point and retrospect if I'd had many of those I think I would have seen it as a warning sign of depression. Inability to enjoy normal activities is a classic sign.

Definitely definitely seek help for that. As a pp said it would be much harder to go into the adoption process with full-blown depression. It is much easier to treat early on and as Blueroses said you might benefit from just a talking cure.

The other thing that helped me was seeking out/making new childless friends. There are more about than you think.

It sounds as though you are very interested in starting the adoption process which is brilliant. Best of luck if you do, I really hope it works out for you and your DH.

Tigerdog thinking of you.

Its a horrible thing when you feel that something huge is missing from your life. I feel for you OP. I have had periods of desperately wanting a baby and a family of my own so I can sympathise. I would say now that I'm childfree i.e. very happy to not be a parent, and not planning to become one in the future.

I adore my weekends, which are usually a mixture of doing stuff (gym, cooking, long walks, maybe cinema or pub, out for dinner sometimes) and doing nothing! My weekends are when I feel most like myself, and most fulfilled.

I hope that things get better for you. I can heartily recommend a Google plus community called Gateway Women, which is for women who don't have children and are struggling with that for various reasons. Hugely supportive and encouraging and I have found it a lifeline at times.

Hi op, Sat mornings are okay for me and if I'm not working they're usually pretty lazy it's more when I go to events with family and friends that are for kids that I find hard, can only do them in small measures or avoid completely.

We're adopting, have been approved, and mental health issues were a big part of our story. They wouldn't look unfavourably at you having depression, they would want to know that you are/have sought out the right treatment for it like counselling and helping yourself through exercise and healthy eating, socialising and talking with friends. This is important for social work to see as it would show you would be able and willing to support a young child through trauma or difficulties.

Re anti-depressants and adoption - could you go to a private GP and get a private prescription? Much more expensive but can keep if "off the record" if you want to.