Horrible dr appointment

[Pohara1]

I just had an appointment with my gp. I'm aware that I have damage to my fallopian tubes but I've never been told how extensive it is, or what any possible options would be for conceiving another child. I went to get referred to the gynae dept at the local hospital.

The gp told me he'd refer me but that they wouldn't operate to attempt to fix any damage/scarring, that ivf wouldn't be an option as I don't meet the criteria for funding, that it would be too expensive to go private and even if I did, the clinic I'd have to use have a 16% success rate and essentially that since I have 2 dc anyway I should forget about having another and focus on my other health needs. I have a colostomy - actually the reason I ended up with it is the same reason why there's damage - but it doesn't cause any problems. He then said that 'intimacy is probably difficult with it anyway'. It's not, a lack of sex is not the reason why I'm not pregnant.

I'm feeling a bit all over the place emotionally. I'm upset, angry and confused. And then because he's a doctor and I'm not, I'm wondering if maybe he's right and I should just give up.

Well he was rude and incorrect about your levels of intimacy so don't just assume he's right because he's a doctor. A GP isn't a fertility specialist and perhaps shouldn't be offering such a strong opinion.

That said, if you are the UK the information about funding is correct as far as I know. You won't be funded for IVF if you already have 2 DC. You could consider private treatment or at least a consultation. It is expensive, I went abroad to reduce costs and one cycle cost me around £3000.

It's likely to be more in the UK but you may not need full IVF treatment. I know nothing about damaged Fallopian tubes so can't offer any advice on what works in relation to that. I did think IVF skipped out the Fallopian tubes though (I thought they put any embryos back into your uterus thus skipping the tubes?)

OP, sorry you had such a horrible experience. If I were you I'd pay for a consultation at a private clinic (mine cost around £200 for an hour). They will be able to advise you on what's possible. Private IVF is expensive but the final cost varies quite a bit depending on what's recommended in your treatment plan.

I believe he is correct that you wouldn't get NHS funding, as you have DCs already. Beyond that though, I would ignore his comments and do your own research - your local authority should have guidelines on what treatment they will/ won't offer.