Cycle buddies Aug/Sept 2016

[HelloMist]

Anyone just starting a cycle or about to?

I've just got the dates through for my first FET to TTC#2. My first LO is 18 months and was made with the help of ICSI and IVF. I start down regulating in a few weeks.

I've already gone through various emotions and I know there are a lot more to come! Anxiety and indecision wondering how I will cope with a second child if we're that lucky and the possible age gap. Sadness that my clinic told me I had to wean DD1 from the breast. Guilt at thinking about another and no longer 100% about her. (Especially if I weaned her and it doesn't work). Stupid thoughts that led me to test without telling DH when my second postpartum period (after weaning) didn't show on time (only spotting, false hope that it was implantation bleed. It's nearly impossible for us to conceive naturally though. AF came this weekend so here I am). Scared that it won't work. The stats are lower for FET and we only have 2 frosties.

The first injection will be at the end of a family holiday. I probably won't be drinking but don't really want to tell them why not yet. Despite all this I am excited too!

Anyone want to join me as cycle buddies?

Tatatetelle - I know Grenoble well! One of my friends studied there so went to visit - it's so beautiful!!!! Yes, got very close to a French couple so we try to see them annually :) ENJOY Copenhagen! That's on our city break list "To do!"

I told my Head and Deputy Head as I need cover if I am off at all - and can't obviously take holiday as a teacher (bearing in mind I will have just had six weeks off!) They were fab though and just said they will sort cover as and when I need it. We have told our close family and friends that we need ivf, but only a handful of people know quite how imminent it is! We have been quite open just because we hated the "so when are you having children" questions so much! We have said to people though that we will be vague with timespans to as not to put pressure on us and also as well meaning as people are, we didn't feel the "how is the IVF going?" texts would go down well - wow when I write it like that, it sounds very blunt! But people were fine about it!

Good things - It's so overwhelming with the drugs delivery, I get it! And I totally shouldn't have watched vids on youtube - one person was clearly struggling to just go for it and kept getting close then not doing it - which I can see myself doing!!! 3 weeks tomorrow I should start stimms so I will let you know ;)

XXX

Elles - How did you find the down-regging? Any side effects? You sniffed didn't you? I will be injecting.....

Please keep me posted, so looks like I will be about 2 weeks behind you, should start down regging in about 3 weeks, its exciting but making me nervous as anything!

Keeping everything crossed for you xxx

Ahh I start DR tomorrow!! I will most definitely keep you updated! Xx

Haha what a small world!!! My mum still lives there :) It's pretty but quite small - had to get away!!!

Right, speaking of obsessing, I think I just completely freaked out a nurse on the phone as I was trying to confirm they were sure the referral had been sent and received . Took us 10 minutes of talking over each other to confirm they had included everything to the referral - in my defence last time they referred DH for his SA they 'forgot' to mention he needed to be added on to the hospital's patient list so we lost a couple of weeks... NOT happening again.

Hey Elles, Rubz, Goodthings, Tata (hope I haven't missed anyone),

Symptoms so far are minimal except for some hot flushes that felt like I was being slow roasted! Luckily Mr Fcuk was prepared and whipped out a hand fan...dunno where he got it or why he's been carrying it around but it was very well timed!

Rubz you poor thing, hope everything has eased somewhat and you're having an easier time of it now.

Tata- we had exactly the same rigmarole. "Forgot" to send the referral etc and now the waiting list is full. Our SA came back fine, it's me ovulating sporadically so I took myself off and got a private prescription for the Clomid, my logic is that we can try this for 3 months and if it doesn't work then the referral appointment should have come through by then anyway so we haven't lost any time.

Goodthings- any news on when your due to start treatment?

Elles- I don't tell my work, think they'd be a bit funny about it and possibly make life difficult so I'm currently feigning a kidney infection every time I have an appointment which isn't ideal.

Hopefully I haven't forgotten anyone. I'm keeping everything crossed for a lot of blue lines for this group over the next few months xx

Tata - it's so worth chasing things up though, don't ever worry about doing it! I always think that my consultant's secretary must sigh every time she opens an email from me but friends who have also been under same consultant have emailed lots too! Phew!

Fcuk - I don't blame you for not telling work. I know some places can be hard work when it comes to fertility. poor you for hot flushes but YAY for dh being well prepared with the fan!!!

It is SO refreshing having a group of people who GET what is going on - thanks so much ladies! It can be isolating a lot of the time can't it?

Er, although I would like to add to last sentence that obviously I wish you didn't all HAVE to go through this!

It is very isolating. We haven't told any family or friends...the one time I tried to broach it with my mother she spouted something about having lots of holidays if we can't have kids. She means well but it wasn't helpful so it's a huge relief to know others are going through the same thing xx

I totally appreciate that people mean well when they say about holidays, lie ins, more money... But I am sure we all feel that it's not quite enough!!!

Good luck today Elles

How you feeling today fcuk? Hope you don't suffer too much in the hot weather! Xxx

Good luck Elles
Fcuktheww it's sometimes easy for people to say that when they don't know what it's like to struggle like us. I has hot flushes at work and they were horrible so know the feeling. And am sorry about work mine have been brilliant but I do think they are careful because it is like pregnancy in a round about way.
It makes this whole thing easier reading your journeys and wish I had join sooner

Rubz - How are you feeling now? Sounds like you had an awful time, really hope you are feeling much better now and get a BFP, when can you test? xxx

Thinking of you Elles today!
Rubz, hope you're feeling better? Fx for you!!
Mist and Fcuk how are you feeling?

Couldn't agree more with what you said, people mean well but if you don't know what struggling to get pregnant is, you can't possible understand. My mother keeps telling me it's all going to be fine and I know she means well, but the truth is, no one knows. It might sound dramatic but I actually find it empowering: hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

I have been in the best mood since I've started sharing your journeys ladies, somehow talking about this without feeling like obsessive/impatient/dramatic has been a huge relief so thank you!!

Hello all!

Thinking of you today Elles- everything is crossed!

My symptoms aren't too bad today, still having the odd flush and my stomach has swollen a fair bit but I feel fine in myself- not as bad as I was expecting all in all.

I don't know whether it's just me being impatient but does this whole ttc journey feel like you're constantly waiting? Waiting for referrals or your doctors to take you seriously, test results and then for the right cycle day to start meds, the line to show on the opk, for dh to get home because doesn't he know there's a line on the damn opk, the right day to finally test...

Hi all!

So glad that being able to share on this thread is helpful! You're not being obsessive - it can be hard to think about much else. It's natural. Even for husbands that probably aren't as involved in the process it must be hard to sympathise and listen if we (seem to) talk on and on. So it's good we have each other.

Fcuk - glad you aren't feeling too bad! Hope that continues.

Rubz - sorry the cycle has been rough on you so far. Good luck and hope you are feeling better.

I'm feeling OK. Just needing a bit more sleep than usual. I was crampy but that seems to have passed for now (think AF came after only a few days of DR last time).

I'm mindful of what I'm eating or drinking as it feels like I'm doing what I can to help that way, though still having some treats too.

At least having a child is helping keep me busy. Less time to sit and worry than the first cycle! I think I'm the only 1 here who does, hope I'm not being insensitive saying that. But I think anything you can do to keep busy and a bit distracted can be a help. It must be hard to focus on work though so it's easier said than done.

Regarding telling people. I'm cautious with new people as it doesn't feel as open a subject as maybe it should. But I keep reminding myself that infertility touches a lot of people and maybe it's just that no one is speaking up first ... there could well be friends or colleagues who understand better than you think! I did tell several friends (as well as family) last time and it was good to have some support/to be open even if people didn't really know what to say. Some of those know that we may be doing treatment again soon though hardly anyone that it is right now. No good advice about telling work though, sorry.

To all that asked am much better than I was but stI'll feel bloated and achy.
Goodthingscome2those 3rd Sept so not long but seems like a lifetime.
Fcukthetww Your right it feels like u are always waiting for something.
Hellomist I think everyone can feel differently about telling people it's what ever u are comfortable with. Sometimes less is better incase it doesn't work I learnt this when going through IUI

Those are good points Rubz. Just meant that it was worth considering but of course not everyone feels comfortable.

hellomist I dint meant any offenice I do agree with u too

Morning ladies,

Rubz - How you feeling today? Good to hear you are feeling much better, I hope you are on the mend.
Elles - How you getting on, any side effects yet?
HelloMist - I completely agree too, I find this thread brilliant, before I found this thread, all I was reading about were people TTC naturally and I was feeling pretty alone, so sad that we are going through this but at least we know we are not alone :-) and can all get our emotions, feelings and thoughts out to each other!
FCUK - How you getting on, can imagine the hot weather isn't doing you any favours, I hope Mr FCUK is following around with that fan ;-)
tatatetelle - I hope you are well too, fingers crossed you get going soon.
xxx

Good morning Sunshines!

Dito, this thread is exactly what I needed, although I'm a few steps behind. I feel like I don't talk about it as much at home because I can talk about it here with you, and I'm sure DH is secretly happy to catch a break from the baby talk, especially since there's nothing we can do right now apart from waiting and practicing dtd -- and who knows, it only takes the one time for it to work! But yes I agree, it's scary how I've come to wish time away, until the next appt, until the next referral, until the next cycle that might maybe potentially come unexpectedly... I've got to make the effort of focusing on the present otherwise I'm worried I'm going to look back on all this time and think of all the things I could have done whilst waiting...

Mist as far as I'm concerned of course you can talk about your little one! I was actually wondering how you were feeling lately as you mentioned you were feeling anxious about weaning her? I can imagine it must be conflicting but it's brilliant you get to have alone time with her and also bonus as it must keep you busy all day!!

I'm with you Rubz, the main reason I don't want to tell anyone is I couldn't cope with having to deliver any bad news if whatever we tried didn't work, or I had a mc (risks are even higher than usual with pcos). But I'm keeping everything crossed for you and hope you open the ball of BFP for this group!!!

ah thanku tatatetelle I hope we will all have some good news to share we all deserve it after going through what we have. It has made a big difference to me by discussing it with people who are going through similar experences

My good new is: I just confirmed my referral is in the system, and I should have my first appt end of Sept/ beg Oct - woop woop! And with work keeping me sooo busy in Sept time is going to fly by!!

tatatetelle that's brilliant new and before u know it your app will be here

Thanks Rubz, I've finally got the feeling it's moving into the right direction!

Hello lovelies!
Just having a catch up on thread - we escaped for a couple of days to Edinburgh! Had a lovely time and just nice to get some quality time together before the craziness ensues!!!

Hi Good things, thank you for thinking of me! 3 sniffs down now and so far so good! Had a bit of a headache earlier but put that down to muggy weather/flights!!!! How are you though lady?

Hi Tata! Thanks for thinking of me and YIPPEEEEEEEE for your news!!!!!! Fingers crossed you get your appointment through the post any day now!!!!!!!! I can't believe where July/August has gone so absolutely September will whizz by

Hellomist, ahh sorry to see you are tired but hope you don't get any other side effects. That's good to know about period coming fairly soon after starting DR, I wasn't sure when to expect it!!! Thank you :)

Hi Fcuk, thank you... I TOTALLY know what you mean about waiting all the time! Waiting to see consultant, waiting for lap and dye, waiting for planning apt, waiting for period then waiting to DR - it's only now I feel I am on it!!!!!! Hopefully all the waiting will be worth it though Hope the hot flushes ease up and glad not feeling too rough!!!

Hi Rubz, sorry to hear bloated and achy :( Hopefully not too much longer and you will feel better

I really hope I haven't missed anyone? Just six of us at the mo?
Hope you all have a good evening xxxx