TTC again after late miscarriage & infertility

[Fairygodmother1]

Hi,
Posted this on TTC but no-one can relate I guess.
Advice & hand-holding needed. I miscarried my daughter at almost 19 weeks. We are still waiting to find out why it happened. She was an IVF baby as we have been TTC for 8+ years. I have used clomid but mc @6 weeks (we had a popular thread on here many years ago) and been through 3 rounds of IVF (1 fresh mc @ 5 weeks & 2 frozen - 1st mc @4w4days & 2nd almost 19 weeks).
Just wondered if anyone had been in the same position as me and gone on to have a healthy rainbow baby? Or anyone going through this now?

Hi Fairy, sorry I don't have anything helpful to add. We have the problem of getting pregnant more than we do of staying pregnant, which seems to be what you're unfortunately going through. I just didn't want to leave your post unanswered.
My heart really goes out to you. Our infertility has spanned almost a decade too. It must have been devastating to lose your baby at 19 weeks after all that, I can't even imagine. I hope someone more knowledgeable comes along soon

Hello Fairy. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. How long has it been since you lost her? I haven't been in quite the same position, but I did lose a daughter at full term and know how awful it is - and how cruel that it happens when you've reached a point where you think the pregnancy is 'safe' and have begun to bond with your baby and plan for the future. And when you'd been trying for so long. I wish I had a success story to tell you, but someone will be along to share one, I'm sure. Be gentle with yourself - you've been through so much .

Hi fairy

Just echoing the lovely ladies to wish you much love and strength - can only imagine the devastating pain of your losses and hope you and your partner can be kind to yourselves

I have only experienced one miscarriage (MMC @ 10w, six weeks ago) after our second round of IVF, so can't even begin to imagine what you've been through. You are a bloody warrior and your rainbow baby is going to know just how very deeply loved and wanted they were and are, because of how hard you fought to have them

Sorry if I'm stating the bloody obvious, but have you had the various RPL investigations (thrombophilia, immunes, thyroid etc) and / or treatment? Two friends of mine have both suffered recurrent miscarriage, both had three losses within the space of a year. Both had the NHS investigations after their third losses respectively, given the all clear, told it was just bad luck and to keep trying. They both fell pregnant again and both miscarried

They both (their experiences are crazily similar) ended up going private, getting (somewhat controversial) immunological testing, were treated accordingly, and both are now in their second trimester and so far, staying pregnant. I very much hope they will be stories of rainbow babies after recurrent miscarriage.

I'm waiting to start my third round of IVF, as soon as my hCG levels fall to zero (after one ERPC and one hysteroscopy I'm only now getting un-pregnant-ed after my miscarriage) we plan to start stims. We paid to have tissue testing done after the ERPC, which showed our baby was chromosomally normal - ie it wasn't just bad luck, it was my body that couldn't support the pregnancy

We are adopting the 'kitchen sink' approach to try and help me to get and stay pregnant. Aiming to try PGS so we can ideally transfer a viable embryo, I've had an endometrial scratch (the new research into recurrent miscarriage by Prof Quenby and Brosens is pretty compelling stuff), I'm starting thyroxine to get my TSH into optimal range, DH and I are taking a week's course of antibiotics to clear a ureaplasma infection I tested positive for, and will be adding into the FET protocol a cocktail of additional meds: in addition to the oestrogen pills and patches, and progesterone pessaries, we'll be adding in progesterone injections, prednisolone, clexane, aspirin and intralipids infusions.

I am absolutely terrified that this was our one good egg and that I'll never be able to get pregnant again. And that if I do that my body will let another baby down.

This doesn't even come close to what you are going through so I can't begin to claim I have any idea of how you must be feeling. All I can say is that I'm TTC after miscarriage and absolutely terrified. Much love xxx

Hello and thank you all for replying.

WootyWoo It's hard as I feel I don't fit in anywhere at the mo as we are not TTC again quite yet but I'm not pg either. I am a mum but she's not here either. I feel a bit lost as it's taken so long. I never ever imagined it would take so long.

BipBippadotta It's been 3 weeks so pretty early days. It's just I need to focus on the future while dealing with grief. I still have 4 frozen embryos so I know its not over for us quite yet but there is always that chance that it might not work again. I also need the faith that a natural one may happen. I had started to relax a little & think we had actually managed to have a successful pregnancy.

bananafish81 Thank you - I get many compliments about my strength but it's all I know - fight for everything! I have been tested for everything I possibly can be. I even saw Prof Quenby and Brosens last September and NK Cells testing privately. I am all clear. I also had a scratch & agree that may have helped. I also had progesterone injections this time as the pessaries didn't work technically. Pregnancy tests are coming back as negative so I am guessing my HCG is down. I need to contact my clinic to find out what can be thrown at another go. As I said, we are still waiting on the results from PM of our baby but my CCG ignored the letter from Brosens that recommended that I be closely monitored and they didn't. I don't know if this may have caused the outcome to be different.

Thank you for sharing your stories.