I am 36, ttc 18 months. I like most other people on this forum started ttc with excitement, I'd spent all my time trying to avoid getting pregnant having taken birth control and using condoms since I was 18. I stupidly just thought it might take 6 months and started merrily thinking about names I liked etc etc. I had always said "if it happens it happens, blah, blah" very casual, I wouldn't want to make it a chore. 6 months came and went, I had started AF next month after stopping contraception and have had very scant periods ever since. Being over 35 went to the doctor who started some investigations with me and DH, blood tests, sperm analysis etc. Normal - oh, I thought, just a matter of time then. 12 months came and went, I started to BBT chart and use OPKs and even fertility lube - tmi (taking some spontaneity away but helping me to feel I was doing something proactive). Then visit to Consultant. Thought he might say oh you can take this and it will help (how naive). He said BBT and OPK aren't worth doing and the blood tests (taken 6 months before) were not normal, there was something (he didn't say what, a bit high at the start of my cycle) and my progesterone levels were lower than they should be so I had to have 4 blood tests, 2 days apart - normal. So then had HSG. I had nightmares about it beforehand, googled it to death and thought it would be painful and it was... horrible. The bit I was most worried about tube insertion and balloon inflation was ok but the contrast liquid... I thought I was going to burst. Stupidly, although I was really worried about it (lying on the x-ray table with your legs apart in front of strangers and the potential for pain), I had assumed that would be normal too but as it turns out I appear to have one blocked/ ? non-existent fallopian tube on right (they thought it might be spasm so gave me an injection and tried contrast liquid again without success). I'll be honest I am struggling with this news more than I thought I would. Good ol' google has shed no light on the matter. I have no idea what comes next, contacted Consultants secretary who just said "Results are with Mr x" no idea of when I'll have an appointment. But I already feel really tired and sad by how far we've come, what I have put me and DH through, when I always said I wouldn't and no progress. I don't want a lap and dye to be inflated with CO2 to have tubes poked about with, I am concerned that it will risk the tube I have. I also have friends who've been through IVF and both are sadder, more solemn people as a result - despite eventual success and I just don't think I can do it. Even if I were offered IVF, I need to have been ttc for 3 years to hit the waiting list (roll on 38 yrs old) and if you hit 40 during treatment you only get 1 cycle. I just think I don't want anymore procedures. I know HSG probably doesn't compare to what most people have been through and I know that I haven't been ttc nearly as long as many people. But I would appreciate any experiences or advice - like another thread says I am bored of this now, I am fed up with how much time it has taken, how it has affected my self-worth. I don't know whether I need to just get over it, I already can't believe how much emotional effort it has taken. Sorry for moaning but it feels good to share.