Hi Tazzyduffy, welcome! I would say don't panic yet as TTC is about more than just age. That's just one factor. I think private or NHS the clinic would want to be in possession of all the facts before deciding on a course of treatment so either way you need those blood tests and semen analysis. We are self-funding a second round of ICSI after TTC #2 naturally for 2 years. They still made us do bloods and semen tests just to be sure that nothing had changed drastically.

Is your DH laid back because he's a generally chilled "don't worry about it" person? Or do you think he might be secretly worried about what the tests reveal ie that the problem could lie with him? Men sometimes use these avoidance tactics. I think it is harder for men to talk about fertility problems. My husband was so depressed and fed up in the days after we were told our issue was his sperm that I had to persuade him out of bed and into work each morning. If your DH is the chilled lazy type like mine then maybe taking the lead would be best.

Have the test appointments been arranged yet? If not, can you chivvy them along? Do you know what the waiting times for your NHS clinic are like? I think there's nothing stopping you going back to your GP and saying that you'd like to be referred to the fertility clinic. By the time your test results are back and you have your appointment you will have been TTC for pushing a year.

And if it makes you feel any better there was a woman I met once who'd had DC1 at 42 and DC2 at 46!

No worries. Can I ask are you nearer 38 or 39? Fertility clinics don't even consider you vaguely old until 37 and my PCT (as was) had a cut off date of starting IVF by the time you were 40 so you still have time. Anyway, I'll stop with the reassurances in case I'm making it worse ☺

Let me know how it goes.

Sorry, that was meant to be an ordinary smiley face - not whatever it has come out as!

Hi. We're a bit younger - 33 and 32 but after trying for 7 months with nothing I convinced my DH that we should go and get tested. He wasn't keen and wanted to just see what happened. However I took myself off first to have a (private) pelvic ultrasound at Create which showed everything seemed fine for me and that seemed to make him curious enough to get the semen analysis done. I'm so glad we did because it showed he has very low morphology. It was very upsetting for both of us but testing sooner rather than later has given us time to reflect on our options and try improving his counts by trying supplements before going to IVF/ICSI. I'd go and get yourself done and share your results with him and hope that makes him feel that the responsibility sits jointly with him and then he'll go and get tested. It was about £200 for me and £100 for him - not much for such important information and no waiting for the NHS. (Those tests won't stop you getting IVF on the NHS by the way). Good luck to you and baby dust for us all!