Hi Champagne

Firstly, please don't feel like you've failed. That's a really natural response in these circumstances but it's far from true. Be kind to yourself.

No-one can really come along and tell you what to do, it's too much of a huge decision.

Do you feel like these are your only options?
^Part of me wants to do it to get it over and done with.
Part of me wants to take a month off to get my body back in shape after Christmas and just to have a break.
Part of me wants to just give up on the whole thing^

Hi op- didn't want to read and run.

So sorry your in such a challenging situation

Infertility is so hard and having one DC wouldn't make it any easier... like you say your stuck in a 'what if...' situation...

You say you have one embryo ready to go... could you take a beak for a few months get yourself back in a good physical and emotional state and try again...do you think you would always regret not using that remaining chance?

Really only you can decide. But if it was my choice I'd go for it with the remaining embryo if it works take it that this is what is to happen and if I'm unsuccessful again be happy you gave it your all and it just wasn't meant to be...

All the best OP

Would you do another fresh cycle or your frozen embryo? Fresh cycles particularly are hard on the body, as well as emotionally. A lot / majority of clinics prefer you yo have 2 or 3 periods between treatments so you can recover. Personally I think going straight into another full fresh cycle would be very tough, I couldn't have done it. FET maybe, byt I have no personal experience of that so can't really offer any advice. What does your clinic say? And I wonder whether a session or two of counselling might be helpful as well as a follow up with the medical team? Many clinics offer counselling sessions though again I don't have personal experience. Was it your first cycle? And how old are you? If you have time in your hands I would definitely urge you to consider a break. Wish you all the very best champagne

Hi there, there's a couple of things you mentioned that I might be able to help with.

Scratch - I had one before a FET and one before a natural cycle. The frozen transfer implanted (but I had a miscarriage later), the transfer from the natural cycle didn't stick. My clinic said that their experience was promising but there wasn't enough data / evidence yet to say for sure. It was only £200 I think. Not fun but over quickly. I'd do it again personally.

Medicated vs unmedicated FET - I was asking my clinic about this very recently (I have some in the freezer too). Doc said that success rates are similar but unmedicated ones are more likely to be cancelled (I guess due to poor lining?) In which case you have to wait till next month and try again. I think I will probably take that chance and try unmedicated as I've had three lots of drugs this year already. My previous FET was medicated and was fine but I found it difficult to remember to take the oestrogen tablets three times a day. No horrible side effects, but generally I tolerate IVF drugs well it seems.

Frozen transfers can be tougher in a way, in that you know there is a chance you might go through all the prep and then on the day the embryos may not defrost properly. That would be a real blow. Also they tend to have lower success rates. I did such a good job of managing my expectations for my FET that I was gobsmacked to get a positive result! So much for positive thinking ha.

I hope that's helpful. I'm sorry your cycle failed, it is so tough. It's not your fault, often it just doesn't work, but it's human nature to try and find an explanation / blame yourself, isn't it!

In your position, I would take a quick break to get my body in best position/health (it starts with the egg is a v good book), then go for it.

Can I ask which clinic you're at? Understand totally if you'd rather not say. Or PM? If you're going to call it a day after a FET, would you consider moving the embryo to a throw-everything-at-it clinic? It's only a thought and it might be a really stupid one, I just wonder whether at least then you could know you'd thrown everything at it? The other thing which really jumps out at me in your second post is your concern for the school and the related imposed time frame of Easter. Can I be direct? This isn't helpful for you OP. IVF / ICSI is unpredictable in the extreme, and one month might not be the optimal one to cycle if your hormones are a bit out etc. I think it's very resposible of you to have such concern for the school, poss replacing you etc, but you don't need that extra stress and worry. I don't have an answer, but you need to do what is right for you and your OH, and honestly everything else needs to fit around it. I honestly don't think you're in a good place to rush straight into the FET.

On the scratch, the evidence is mounting that it helps implantation. I'd definitely do it, though if you have it done conscious, it's not massively pleasant. There are a ton of reasons why cycles sadly don't work - you not giving it enough attention isn't one.

Thinking of you OP

Oh champagne I'm sorry I made you cry. On my name, wow I miss it! I'll drink any red pretty much!! (currently 13+2 after IVF at ARGC - miracle workers!). Personally I think you need to focus and prioritise your FET and let the rest of life (except DH, DS obvs) take second place. Trying to juggle treatment with anything else while also retaining your sanity (or most of it) is bloody hard. I was working almost full time during 2 failed NHS cycles which were a 150 ish mile commute each time I went to the clinic. It was very very hard. And not why they failed I am certain of that, but mentally it was tough. You do sound low though and I really do urge you to see if your clinic does counselling sessions - I wish we had had one. Do you have family / friends support in RL?

I'm in a similar position to you and could have written your post op. Where I've got to is I'm not going to think about it for a month and then will see where I am mentally and physically. It's a tough process so best to be kind to yourself.

A