Please help me- clomid questions- very sad

[Tollygunge]

So after 4 losses (2 late, 2 early) I've been given clomid 10mg unmonitored, which I took cd 2-6. I ovulate fine on my own but clomid is to strengthen the egg apparently. Any ways, I have a fairly standard 28 day cycle and usually get positI've clear blue smiley cd16. This month with the clomid nothing at all. I've just rang nurse at zita west (they didn't give me clomid, was another doctor but I've seen them before and they were sweet enough to chat to me- can't get in contact with doctor who prescribed it) and she said I should def have ovulated by now. Another fucking cycle down the drain, and I feel like I'm beginning to despair. I'm crying constantly and so upset that I won't even ovulate this cycle and that I've fucked my body up. I'm literally just openly weeping for all the loss and the hopelessness. I have one daughter already who is 4, same partner, conceived with no problems at all, but now I'm barren, I'm fucked. Oh and it's my birthday next week, I'm 35. Zita west won't scan me- what can I do???? Surely even if I ovulate now I've fucked up my luteal phase. I just feel like going to bed and never getting up.

Should say 100mg by the way

I'm so sorry for your losses, and that you are feeling like this
I don't follow their rationale for giving you Clomid though
Clomid doesn't 'strengthen' eggs... It stimulates ovulation (but has the negative of thinning the lining), so it seems counterproductive
Was it prescribed by a GP? Is it possibly that they want to do something to help, even if it isn't the right thing?

Have you had any sort of diagnosis for your losses? Surely they would be better focusing on that, if you have't had any huge issues getting pregnant?

Tollygunge, so sorry to hear you're feel so sad. I'm also sorry for your losses.

Clomid does improve egg quality and quantity. This has been scientifically proven. Due to the quantity this is why it is usually recommended woman are follicle tracked - though, it's okay if you haven't been. I have loads of friends who have succeeded with no follicle tracking! The thing with clomid you'll ovulate just maybe not at your usual time (i.e. as before when not on C). Doesn't mean it won't happen. I'd keep testing. another thing is it can make your uterus lining thin which is why they usually prescribe oestrogen to help thicken it. Best to check in with your doctor if you can to ask for guidance on this one, if you can.

I'm on clomid this month - on 50mg. And now it really is just the painful waiting game and managing my expectations :) Its been a long journey.....

Thinking of you and you're not alone. It really is so emotionally challenging - well, more like a f'ing rollercoaster ride!

Thanks for your responses. In terms of miscarriage reasons, they are all for different things and we've been told they are bad luck. I'm literally on the floor with sadness at the moment, and feel like utter shit- is this the clomid talking?! I really expected to ovulate by now and do in freaking out- everything I've read suggests that I should have positive Opk by now and I haven't- will my luteal phase be even shorter??? I can't even find anywhere to scan me as they haven't prescribed the clomid. Can clomid make you ovulate loads later and does this then mean your period will then be late? I'm thinking maybe I need anti depressants at the moment as I literally have never felt this low. Compounded by the fact of dealing with friends pregnancies and the fact that I'm facing my third Christmas of either miscarriage/ abortion for medical reasons or infertility.

Anyone else? I've booked a scan tomorrow to check ovulation at a different place. Will they be able to tell me if I have already ovulated and if not why not?

Or when?

Still no positive Opk. I'm obvs out this month. Only hope I haven't fucked myself permanently