I don't know where to turn. I am 41 and suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis which I have had since I was 2yrs old. I am in pain every day. All my life I have prayed of having the chance to be a mum. I got married in 2001 and we always planned to have kids but the marriage only lasted months when he left me, I haven't met anyone since and I am desperate for a baby. Everywhere I look I see babies and all my friends have families. My sister isn't bothered about kids so this also means my parents may never get to be grandparents. This makes me so sad and I cry every single day and in bed at night, the doctor hasn't helped with any suggestions. I haven't even got any male friends who may be willing to help me. I am also thinking surrogacy but don't know where to start, I feel like all that I have been through in my life do I not deserve something special? My mum is my rock and she knows how I feel, she is my best friend and I would love to have the chance to be like that with my own. Tears are streaming as I write this, I know I probably sound sorry for myself but each year gets more difficult. If someone told me when I was a teenager I would be 41 with no kids, I would have been less careful back then. I try to meet nice people but men don't want to get to know me, they just see what I look like and move on to my friends or sister. Just writing this has helped a bit but every waking minute I think of babies and imagining being a mum. Sorry to depress everyone else!