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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Disabled, Single & Childless

2 replies

Debsy8 · 26/10/2015 00:48

I don't know where to turn. I am 41 and suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis which I have had since I was 2yrs old. I am in pain every day. All my life I have prayed of having the chance to be a mum. I got married in 2001 and we always planned to have kids but the marriage only lasted months when he left me, I haven't met anyone since and I am desperate for a baby. Everywhere I look I see babies and all my friends have families. My sister isn't bothered about kids so this also means my parents may never get to be grandparents. This makes me so sad and I cry every single day and in bed at night, the doctor hasn't helped with any suggestions. I haven't even got any male friends who may be willing to help me. I am also thinking surrogacy but don't know where to start, I feel like all that I have been through in my life do I not deserve something special? My mum is my rock and she knows how I feel, she is my best friend and I would love to have the chance to be like that with my own. Tears are streaming as I write this, I know I probably sound sorry for myself but each year gets more difficult. If someone told me when I was a teenager I would be 41 with no kids, I would have been less careful back then. I try to meet nice people but men don't want to get to know me, they just see what I look like and move on to my friends or sister. Just writing this has helped a bit but every waking minute I think of babies and imagining being a mum. Sorry to depress everyone else!

OP posts:
closephine85 · 26/10/2015 08:34

This is a tough message to reply to - I can't really offer any practical advice but just wanted to say I'm sorry that you are feeling so sad. Have you considered fostering/adoption? You say that after everything you've been through don't you deserve something special, perhaps this could be your chance to offer that special thing to a child who really needs it too?

A baby/toddler is very physically demanding, but if it is something you could manage (you don't really say how severe your arthritis is) then there are ways of having your own with donor sperm - perhaps you need to ask for a consultation with a fertility clinic to find out your options.

Good luck in whatever you decide Flowers

Hyland · 26/10/2015 09:00

Hi,

I agree that fostering or donor sperm seems to be the best choice available for you depending on your exact circumstances.

If you are actively on the dating scene, maybe freezing your eggs is an option for perhaps a year or two down the line, but that may then put a lot of pressure on you to find Mr. right.

It's nice to hear your mum is your rock and i hope you do find a solution that provides you with the happiness you're looking for.
Good Luck x

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