Does anyone else feel as if their body is letting them down? WARNING sad and depressed post

[LondonT2202]

Hi everyone

Did anyone else on this forum suddenly feel incredibly down and depressed when you had to click on the "infertility" forum? I honestly never thought getting pregnant would be a problem and now feel as if my whole body is letting me down as I cant. I keep on seeing babies EVERYWHERE and ever time a friend announces they are pregnant I end up having to leave the room bc I cant stop crying (yup, it's awful that I am so jealous and can't be happy for them but it just seems so UNFAIR.)

I keep on thinking "what if it never happens and we never have kids" and the thought is unbearable. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling like this. Any advice on how to get out of this slump would e hugely appreciated!!!!

Sob

Oh London I'm sorry you're feeling that way I'll never forget the moment the consultant told me I might need IVF - I just thought 'other people have IVF, but not me'. It really was a shock. However, I don't blame my body as I now know that my behaviour has caused these problems as I have a condition caused by an energy deficit - too much exercise and too few calories, plus being stressed. Therefore I've had to get my head around infertility, that I caused it, that I have to cease going to the gym (after going three times a week for 10 years or so) and at the same time I have to eat more (I count every single calorie). It's been a hard year, but I Once I had a diagnosis I was glad to join the infertility section as I feel more at home here - the main conception board can jusy be plain upsetting.

This journey has made me realise how many people struggle with fertility problems, so when like you I see bumps and babies everywhere, I remind myself that the couple may well have been through a terrible time to get pregnant. Sorry I'm rambling on and may sound like I'm not sympathising, but I do know how you feel and all I can say is make the most of the lovely supportive ladies on here :) I just try to remember that there is always someone worse off.

Do you have a diagnosis and have you had any treatment?

I think your reactions are fairly normal OP. Its a very upsetting and confrontational thing to be told - it goes against every expectation, every dream, every 'normal' hope - what seems almost a god given right - of most women.

BUT - what happens now is up to you. You're not going to get pregnant while you sit at home moping. Make a plan. Research your diagnosis. Prepare yourself for IVF financially and healthwise. Do you need to quit work? Are you going to tell family, friends?

Or decide this path isnt for you and research surrogacy, adoption.

Or decide that actually you could be happy being childfree.

It isnt fair, its a horrible thing to have happened to you - but you have choices, you can regain control and your life can be what you imagined.

Good Luck xx

Yes. Yes. This is how I feel right now. Although I don't know if I have caused any problems for myself.

I am embarking on treatment in the next couple of weeks and I hate my stupid body.

Growing up I never imagined I would have to face this. I'm gutted but I am not broken!!

x

You are definitely not alone and I think your reactions to things sounds pretty normal.

One thing that helped me was focusing on research and little steps I could take every day; diet, relaxation etc. Also I know it sounds like a bag of hippy shite but I did lots of meditation/ visualisations sending out warmth and love to the people I felt most jealous of and their babies. It was hard but helped to break out of the negative energy and let me grieve in a different way. It's ok to cry about it all as infertility is really bloody unfair x