What blaeberry said - all of it!
My best friend and I were ttc-ing at the same time, she got pregnant after about 8 months I think. She didn't tell me straight away - which was fine, in fact (and I feel a little bad for stealing her thunder!) I guessed that she was pregnant! She lives overseas so thankfully all of our conversations happened over email rather than on the phone.
After a few days of excitement - talking about her appointments etc (completely envious at my end - the mix of emotions was horrible) we had a 'chat' on email, we dealt with the elephant in the room, she asked how I was feeling, that she was worried about telling me. I was completely honest with her - told her it was bittersweet, so happy for her but sad that I wasn't there with her. I was bawling in real life, full on ugly crying face! It didn't help that I was on my period at the time!
It was good to get it out between us, but I did do what blaeberry said above - I backed off, conversations were there but I wasn't as forthcoming (especially about my own fertility issues). I would only tell her if she asked and she rarely asked.
She has had her baby now and sends me pictures, updates and whilst it's lovely I'd still rather bury my head in the sand - not because she has a baby and I don't but mostly because I hate feeling conflicted, I can't seem to be happy for her without being sad for me. Hopefully by the time I go and see her in a month or so I will have got over that!
ungoogleable and lugo40 that's awful! I'm so sorry to hear your family said that stuff to you! I haven't told my mum because she would just worry and then ask me millions of questions which I can't cope with! I refuse to tell my brother/sister in law because I fear comments like that will come my way too!