Speaking personally I think that you should be as honest and open as you can be. If you are lucky enough to become pregnant again please tell her when she is alone so that she can deal with her feelings without having to put on a brave face.

My third and final round of IVF was successful, however I lost the baby at 13 week. About 3 weeks later a work colleague who I was close to had the good grace to text me that she was pg and was going for her 12 week scan before telling anyone else. This gave me the chance to deal with it in my own time and put my brave face on before work and her coming in with scan pictures. I was incredibly grateful for her consideration.

My thought would be that if she asks then she is comfortable to talk about it. If she doesn't ask don't bring it up. I have to say that nothing is more annoying when you have spent years trying for someone to tell you that they are going to TTC and then end up pg within a couple of months.

Thank you for thinking of your friend and ultimately you know her and how she will react to things. Let her take the lead.

I'd say yes if she asks, definitely. She's probably on the alert generally for signs of pregnancy in friends so I would say the possibility that you might be TTC or already pregnant has very probably already crossed her mind.

And yes when you get pregnant, please don't tell her in person. I don't even like it when people ring me up to tell me. An email or text would be much better for me, then I can take some time to write a reply instead of just stammering 'oh, gosh, congratulations' and then getting off the phone as quick as possible before I start to cry.

Thank you for being considerate of your friend, you sound like a good mate.

It's lovely of you to be so sensitive to your friend's feelings about this, but definitely don't put your own plans on hold to spare her feelings: there are no givens in this game (speaking as one who conceived first month of trying first time round and have been ttc for six years for no. 2) - and imagine how you would feel if you held off and then it didn't happen for you, or at least took longer than you had hoped.

As you can imagine, a lot of people around me have had babies in the time I've been trying to conceive. Some people have said crass things and upset me a lot, most have been fine, some have tiptoed around, terrified of telling me and then been surprised when I've been "alright" about it. I think the very fact that you are asking this question means you are likely to be sensitive in the way that you deliver your news.

Personally, I think you should tell her that you are ttc as this will give her some time to prepare herself for you telling her that you are pregnant - even if it does happen quickly. Also, I prefer to be told in person.

Hope it goes well.