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The limbo and frustrations of secondary infertility

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inamaymaybewrong · 21/07/2015 17:14

Our precious DS is nearly 3. He was conceived via IVF (1st cycle) after we were unsuccessful conceiving naturally and I was diagnosed with PCOS, though ovulating, so infertility was classed as unexplained.

We did an FET cycle at the end of last year using 1 of the 3 frozen embryos we have remaining. I got pregnant but sadly miscarried before our 7 week scan. We couldn't face another FET for a bit and so decided to try naturally once again, with little expectation it would be successful. But we got pregnant naturall in May and were stunned. We saw a heartbeat at an early private scan at 7+ weeks but devastatingly less than 2 weeks later I miscarried again. We were / are so sad.

Having gone through the trials of primary infertility (endless appts, tests, the stress of everyone you know seemingly getting pregnant and having babies with no issues), we're dealing with it all again now, and now we're fully signed up members of the parenting club and are surrounded by people with '2 under 2', 2 under 3', '3 under 5' etc...with the worry of miscarriage now added to the infertility.

I'm trying Clomid and glucophage again as these may have helped us conceive the natural pregnancy we lost (which is weird as neither worked pre-IVF), but we're also thinking ahead to further FET cycles with our two remaining frozen embryos, assuming they survive the defrost process.
Not sure how long to try naturally for before moving to FET. This is our 1st month post-MC #2 and my cycle is still a bit weird. I'll be 38 later this year which is the age all the specialists say that fertility and IVF success really start to tail off at. I don't want to 'waste' my frozen embryos by doing FET before the possible causes of my MCs can be investigated further. Am waiting an NHS recurrent miscarriage clinic appt and am having blood tests via the GP this month.

And then there's the practical stuff: dealing with constant reminders of our situation by being surrounded by mums or more-than-one, having to plaster on a smile for pregnancy / birth announcements and scan pics, feeling so sorry for my baby-obsessed pre-schooler who may never have a sibling, wondering how long to keep DS' baby clothes, toys etc. And how long to keep the mental hope of a sibling alive.

Anyone got any advice please? Thanks

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