Hi Evie. I first started ttc at age 38, and got preg first try. However, that was ectopic, not diagnosed in time, ruptured and I ended up losing a tube.
We waited a couple of months before trying again, but nothing. My hormone tests came back fine, definitely ovulating, and DH tests also fine. We obviously knew that we could theoretically get pregnant, but nothing was happening.
Spoke with my obstetrician, who said it was quite possible my other tube was knackered (due to age) and was happy to refer us for IVF straight away, given my age. I am in Australia and the system is a bit different here and moves faster. I suspect that more tests would be done in UK to try to determine the cause of the infertility before IVF referral.
Anyway, I had my embryo transfer 9 months after the ectopic, and we were very lucky that it worked, with DS born after I turned 40. I had more IVF last year and again very lucky, with DD born shortly before my 43rd birthday.
So don't panic, although I can totally relate to the anxiety, but maybe start to think about your options and get the ball rolling if you are considering IVF because success rates do drop a lot after you reach late 30s. Best of luck! 