So exhausted by all this...

[VictoriaSandwich123]

Hi everyone

I wanted to ask if anyone has been in a similar situation to me as I am feeling very alone and exhausted by all of this now:

My DH and I have been TTC for over 2 years and nothing...so we both had the standard tests (his sperm, my hormones, bloods, and also a scan for me) and everything came back normal. I ovulate every month and have normal period cycles.

We met with a fertility specialist 8 months ago and he prescribed clomid (even though I do ovulate and have normal cycles every month etc) and that hasn't worked.

So now we are seeing them again and I guess we're in for more tests and possibly IVF now.

I just wanted to know if anyone else has been in a similar situation? The only thing that I think may be a sign of a problem is that I do get spotting before my period every month, and have done ever since I can remember. I mentioned it to the specialist and I think that's why he prescribed the clomid but I'm a little bit lost as to what the problem might be, and starting to realise that I may never find out...

It's just so exhausting, I feel like a failure as a woman. My brothers and sisters both have large families and I am just the odd one out. It's so grim this infertility business.

You are right, it is grim and quite unfair! We were tic for over 2 years and in that time my brother who already had one child, managed to conceive and then had another- just by looking at his wife it seems!

We had unexplained fertility- all tests came back normal, DH's SA was normal we just didn't know what was wrong! Dr didn't prescribe Clomid as said it was a waste of time for me as I was clearly ovulating regularly.

In the end it was IVF for us and now I'm almost 19weeks with my first and beginning to feel flutterings every now and then :)

It is a tough road- I was speaking to a friend recently and admitted that tic and then IVF was one of the toughest things I have ever been through.

Just wanted to commiserate with you that it is tough but there can be a light at the end. And good luck x

Does the spotting have anything to do with low progesterone/ short LP? That's my prob ATM and I've been given Clomid and progesterone pessaries.

Thank you bigchanges, that's a lovely uplifting and encouraging response to read. Your brother sounds like he's a busy man! It's interesting that many people seem to have to go into IVF without ever really knowing what the issue was, I think I have been a little bit naive about that, for some reason I thought eventually all the tests would show something definitive, but I guess not... Either way, congratulations on your baby, that's wonderful. So it was worth it all in the end for you!

Mrsbadger, thanks for your reply! And yes, that's what I thought as well, but low progesterone only came back from blood tests once (and I think that's because we took the blood test on the wrong day) and even then it wasn't 'low' it was 30. Most recent one was 70! I don't know about the LP - I have 31 day cycles and seem to ov right in the middle of that time so not sure.

Hopefully my next appt will be more informative. I'm pretty sure it's going to be IVF for us too now.

I think that the stats for infertility are something like 1/3 female factors, 1/3 male factors and 1/3 unexplained so you are not alone.

It's very draining being disappointed month after month after month. I actually found moving onto IVF a really positive step as it felt more like I might actually get pregnant after failing to for so many months. We were very lucky and had a successful first cycle and DD is now coming up for 2.5.

We've been trying for No. 2 since last June. Naturally for 6 months and then a frozen embryo cycle in February/March which failed. We had April off as the clinic couldn't do the follow up appointment until last Friday. I've been having fun drinking, not worrying about it, moving house and then found out last Friday morning I've had a natural miracle pregnancy and I'm about 5/6 weeks pregnant! I didn't think it was possible... I've a long way to go obviously still and I know this could easily end in a miscarriage and I'm quite old at 37 but you never know. I've got some more frozen embryos if needs be and I'd go straight back into IVF if I need to.

Sorry for the long post What I'm really trying to say is Don't Stop Believing. Both IVF and natural miracles are possible!

These infertility threads are a great place to be, for venting, support and other people's stories and experiences I think. Especially as invariably everyone in real life is falling pregnant very easily all over the place...

3 years of trying and I'm 38 and a half (ancient!). Unexplained infertility. Exhausting and frustrating (the WAITING on the NHS while time ticks on) and everyone else getting up-duffed around us... but hey. If we can survive this we can survive a lot of things, and to be honest judging by the kindness of so many people on this in comparison to some of the comments you get from the more easily up-duffed, I think there may also be some odd benefits to it all.
But don't feel like a failure. You're NOT. Your lady bits may be a bit faulty, but they're not you. Having non-faulty bits and being able to make kids is a lottery. You have not failed. It's just the others who think they're normal don't realise that what they are is actually bloody lucky.

Hi Victoria, I'm in a pretty similar situation to you, unexplained infertility (I do have an ovarian cyst but no one seems very bothered about that). I spot for up to 6 days before my period and sometimes I bleed with exercise around ovulation. I'm going to speak to my gp about it again on Monday. So sick of seeing blood/spotting!!!