1st IVF cycle any advice?
Sweetpea80 · 03/05/2015 22:32
I'm 4dp 5dt (I think that's right). New to mumsnet and not picked up the short hand yet.
Any advice from anyone who's been through IVF? Trying to stay positive but this part of the treatment seems the longest wait and I'm thinking about it every minute of the day.
Looking for signs of feeling pregnant or panicking it's not worked.
Any advice would be grateful.
Tootsiepops · 04/05/2015 09:02
I'd love to help but I was a mess during my two week wait after ivf. I tested at 5dp5dt and got a positive, which made me even worse. When's your official test date?
Sweetpea80 · 04/05/2015 16:11
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who is going mad during this two week wait.
Did you not feel better once you got your positive result?
My official test date is Friday. I have a HPT and I'm tempted to use it but I'll be disappointed if it's negitive and I think it's too early to test anyway.
cingolimama · 04/05/2015 16:32
Hi OP, the best advice I ever got when I was going through infertility shenanigans was this:
Discuss the Plan B if this cycle doesn't work (and I really really hope it does). Have the Plan B (either you'll go for two more cycles, consider donor egg, consider adoption next ...whatever) in your hand/head NOW.
The reason is that, oddly, planning for a negative outcome of this cycle is actually positive in the long term. You're in this for the long haul. If you and your partner know that come what may this one cycle isn't the end, the effect can be a bit liberating. Far more effective than that old mantra "feel positive".
It actually can take the pressure off if you know what you might do next. Also, a failed IVF attempt can hit you very hard - and it would be very hard to start the Plan B conversation when you're devastated. You can waste months and months like this.
OP, hope this makes sense and I'm totally pulling for you.
merricat · 04/05/2015 17:01
Absolutely 100% agree with cingolimama. I've just had my first IVF cycle, it failed, I drove myself crazy in the TWW, got my first negative at 8dp3dt and just 'knew' that was it. Kept testing at first, then stopped, had a few days to get used to the 99% probability that it had failed. Which didn't stop me from imploded when I started bleeding.
Anyway, I don't want to depress you. The main thing is that I had got my Plan B very clear in my mind and had written it all down. I knew exactly what I would ask / try if it failed, and what would happen next. That was so important, because once I knew for sure it had failed, I wasn't capable of thinking about the next step at all. Like cingolimama says, trying to formulate a Plan B from a place of that much upset would have been impossible.
All that said, I really hope you succeed - massive good luck.
Tootsiepops · 04/05/2015 19:53
Sweetpea - no, sadly I didn't feel at all better after I got a positive because I've had a previous loss and was convinced I'd lose this one too. I think when you've struggled with infertility for years and years and years, you get used to disappointment, so I just couldn't believe my luck and thought it was some sort of soon-to-be-rectified mistake.
I couldn't formulate a plan b whilst I was in the middle of ivf. I had no idea how physically or emotionally demanding the cycle was going to be and I'd no idea how I was going to feel about it coming out the other side. If the cycle had failed, I'd have needed time afterwards to re-evaluate, reflect and think about whether or not I had it in me to go through it again (the answer to that by the way is no - knowing what I know post-ivf, due to the emotional strain, once was enough for me even if it hadn't worked).
What we did do though was plan lots of fun things in case it was unsuccessful. We'd planned time off work, and had picked out an amazing holiday to Japan, China and South Korea. I'd found some fantastic Jimmy Choos, and a beautiful dress I wanted. We researched Michelin starred restaurants, and some spa hotels on the coast. It sounds very frivolous, but it distracted me and gave me other things to think about. I watched a lot of comedy DVDs, bought a colouring book for grown-ups, stocked up on books by my favourite author and marathon watched Breaking Bad too.
One thing I do know for sure though - don't test early :)
Sweetpea80 · 04/05/2015 21:10
All this advice is lovely and knowing others are going through the same thing is comforting.
Merricat I'm sorry your first cycle failed and I hope whatever your Plan B is that it works out for you.
Cingolimama I hadnt really thought about having a plan B
but I agree if this fails neither of us will be in a good place to discuss it. We are lucky that out of the 12 eggs collected 10 fertilised and 6 made it to day 5 embryos so 5 have been frozen.
This would obviously be our next stage but I think it will be sensible to discuss how long we feel we should wait. We haven't even asked if there is a lower success rate from using a FET.
Totsiepops I think your idea to have lots of positive things to focus on is a good way to minimise some of the undue stress we are putting on ourselves. A new pair of Jimmy Choos is always a reason to smile.
I'm not sure what stage you are at just now but I hope it is going well for you.
Guin1 · 05/05/2015 07:04
The 2ww is SO tough. Anything you can do to take your mind of it - do it (cinema, sport, DIY project, even home filing). Definitely agree with Tootsiepops about planning future treats.
However, I did test early because I felt it would be a more gentle 'let down' if it didn't work - if it came back negative I could say "there is a chance it's wrong because I did test early" whilst starting to come to terms with the fact it could also be correct. I think if you wait till OTD, you have such high hopes (even if you're trying not to) so a negative is a huge let down.
Sweetpea80 · 05/05/2015 10:23
This week doesn't seem as bad as in back at work so it's taking my mind of the wait. Hopefully Friday will come around quickly.
I have got a HPT and I'm thinking about doing it on either Thursday or Friday morning. I agree if I already know it's nehitive its not such a shock when I call the hospital for me results.
Still looking for signs but so far I don't feel pregnant in any way.
proceeding · 05/05/2015 10:30
Sweetpea80 wait til Friday. Really, wait til Friday. You'll drive yourself mad looking at it on Thursday. Give your body the extra day. It sounds as if you had a fabulous cycle - and you're in a great place for FET cycles if you need them.
Keep heart - and keep positive.
My fourth cycle IVF baby turned three on Sunday - I've been there, and know what it feels like.
Wait until Friday.
Sweetpea80 · 07/05/2015 09:40
Thanks proceeding only one more day and we will know. Feeling quite positive now we are getting closer.
So far we have had a fabulous cycle I think that's why I worrying it all goes wrong at the last hurdle.
Can't wait for the Friday feeling this week
proceeding · 07/05/2015 13:42
Well done - good luck. I'll be thinking of you at 6am tomorrow morning when 19mo old DD2 (difficulty in conceiving number one does not mean it's difficult to conceive number two ) wakes up! Let us know how you get on.
Sweetpea80 · 07/05/2015 21:34
I will keep you posted.
We are about an hour from the IVF clinic so I'll probably be up at 6am too as our app is at 8am.
Sweetpea80 · 10/05/2015 19:38
Hi proceeding not been on for a few days. We went of Friday and it was a positive result!!! We are so excited. It hasn't quite sunk in yet. Still don't want to get our hopes to high as they said although it's a good positive result (reading was over 150) they will get us in for a scan in three weeks to make sure it he embryo is in the right place. Is this to make sure it's not an ectopic pregnancy?
proceeding · 11/05/2015 11:47
That's FABULOUS news. Well done. And 150 is a lovely strong result for that early on. Well done. The thing is Sweetpea80 even if this one doesn't work, you know now that you CAN get pregnant with a bit of help and that's a hugely positive step. That's really good news.
The scan at seven weeks or so (so in three weeks) is to check that it's not ectopic, that things are in the right place and the right size etc but also, at mine, I got to hear the heartbeat :)
I'm so pleased for you. I know it's impossible but do TRY to relax for a while. Stress is your enemy. Lots of water - lots of protein - lots of naps when you get home from work.
I'm really pleased for you. Do keep us posted as to how you get on.
Sweetpea80 · 11/05/2015 20:55
Its the most amazing news I've ever been given but it really hasn't hit home I'm pregnant yet. I drink lots of water and when I'm coming in from work im trying to take it easy.
The next three weeks will seems a long wait but hopefully it will all be fine and we might get to hear a heartbeat too.
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