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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

IVF wobbles

4 replies

ivfwobble · 21/04/2015 09:06

Hi. Have NCed for this.

I'm due to start my second IVF cycle any day now, but for the last couple of weeks, I'm seriously wondering if we're doing the right thing going ahead with it.

I'm 40, and will be 41 at least if and when I ever have a child. DP is 48 and has both physical and mental health problems (which are controlled with medication). My brother also has serious mental health problems, which have erupted recently. Financially, we're not flush, but we have enough, but obviously will have to make sacrifices if we do have a child. We've both been under a lot of strain recently (for various reasons, including the IVF and my brother's health) and we're not communicating well. I feel quite distant from him.

So although my heart really wants a child, my head is thinking that proceeding with the IVF is not a good idea. We're too old, we're not pulling together, and the possibility of having a child with serious health problems terrifies me.
Also, I've had 2 MMCs before starting IVF, and obviously a failed first cycle, and the thought of having to go through all that waiting and hoping and being disappointed again is just...it's too hard.

I'm plodding through the motions at the moment, but I really don't know what to do. I'd quite like to run away.

Has anyone else felt like this, and if so, what did you do?

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
ivfwobble · 21/04/2015 17:46

Nobody?

OP posts:
MissMartin1992 · 21/04/2015 18:48

I'm not in the same position as you but i really hope you have a your baby soon.. wishing you all the luck in the world Smile take care xThanksx

hellotreeshellosky · 21/04/2015 21:19

I am not in a similar situation but I feel similar about the IVF- I have never been sure it is right for me and I don't think I'd be doing it if DH wasn't keen. I am feeling fine physically but hating the whole process and would also like to run away. I have no answers for you just a bit of solidarity. Hope you come to a decision that you are happy with.

CatnipMouse · 21/04/2015 21:21

Hi wobble. Sounds like you've had a tough time of it, sorry it's been grim. I don't think you're too old to have another try (I would say that, I'm 39) but you don't need my permission!!

You say you and your partner aren't pulling together, how was he during your first IVF cycle? Do you think he might get on side when you start?

Are your partner's health problems or your brother's health problems partly genetic, is that why you worry about having a child with serious problems, or is it your age that makes you worry?

I know it can be a bit of a cliché but does your clinic offer a counselling service? I went to see the counsellor at mine and thought she was very good. You could go with your partner if he's willing (no way mine would've gone!) or on your own. It sounds like it would really help to talk things through with someone.

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