Telling a friend I'm pregnant

[Fizzy13]

I have some close friends who have been through a number of failed IVF cycles and have now concluded that it isn't going to happen for them. I've been supporting them all the way through and we talk openly about it.
I'm now pregnant (I told them we were thinking about it and when I had an early miscarriage) and I am worried about telling them as I really don't want to rub salt in the wound.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can minimise the hurt. Telling them together/ over the phone/ by email so they don't have to smile and be pleased for me?

[sleepyhead]

When I was struggling to conceive ds2 I found it easier to hear about friends' pregnancies by email, text or phone rather than face to face. It meant that I could go off and cry if I felt I needed to, and then get myself together to be pleased/ask questions/join in their excitement.

I know other people feel differently though and prefer to be told face to face. Depends on the individual.

[johendy]

I agree about finding out in a way where you can react naturally, rather than ageing to put on a face. So probably an email.yt

I, like others I know who have suffered infertility, was always happy for others baby news, but each announcement felt like I was taking a knock back in my journey. Irrational, as I know they hadn't jumped th queue. So I did pull back from my pregnant friends, but found it easier with babies for some reason.

I found it easier to see them one to one than in a group, because I could control the conversation - I was happy to talk pregnancy and baby for a bit, but then I could move it in to something else and my friends were completely sensitive. I tried group things for a while, and even when they all knew about my treatment, the conversation was so baby heavy I spent the whole time trying not to cry.

[Fizzy13]

Thanks for the advice. I'll send them an email and say I understand if they need a bit of space.

[Stillyummy]

Don't do it on mothers day- some people ttc feel very low on Mother's Day. X

[Phephenson]

Don't do it face to face, honestly - my one friend announced that she was 'accidently' pregnant on my birthday night out the year before last knowing full well that I had just had surgery for endo and been added to the IVF waiting list - erm, a bit insensitive and nowhere for me to hide.

I've just found out today that my friend is 9 weeks, I had suspected for a while but I was too scared to ask, well, today I did, because she was asking about my IVF and it seemed rude not to. I really wish I hadn't but thank god I did it over text and not face to face. She's probably been dreading it as much as me though and I don't want her to be sad.

I am but I'm 7 days away from being able to test after having a 3dt a week ago today.

Sorry if I sound like a selfish bitch, I'm sat at my desk in work trying to hold it together and doing a pretty shit job. I want to go home but I've only just come back to work as the stimms made me feel so wretched.

[Stillyummy]

Your not a selfish bitch, just having a hard time Phephenson. I know exactly how you feel. X