Am I a terrible person for not wanting to see pregnant friend?

[Beaverfeaver2]

The last time I saw her was beginning of January and she told me she was pregnant.

She is visiting next week.

Am I a terrible person for not wanting to see her?

Since being diagnosed I have shielded myself from everything pregnancy related as I am a fragile wreck.

I know exactly how you are feeling. Since we have been ttc 5 good friends and close family have been pregnant. I find it much easier when the babies are here than seeing them when they are pregnant. It's worse with the few who knew we were ttc as its like the elephant in the room and I could feel pity from them which is the last thing I wanted and to be fair probably wasn't what they intended.

I find some days are easier than others so maybe rearrange for when you are feeling a bit more positive. I'm seeing a friend in a couple of weeks that I haven't seen since before Xmas because it's been so hard.

I've learnt that you need to protect yourself first and be a good friend second in these situations. It's rubbish

You aren't a terrible person at all. Is she a close enough friend that you could explain?

You are not terrible in the slightest. I'm struggling with a pregnant friend myself at the moment. Its horrible, and probably the worst thing is the worry that you have no right to feel this way. You do and its totally understandable.

Put your own needs first here. Cancel if you need to. Tell her how you're feeling if you think it would go well but feel free to keep it to yourself if that feels better x

I completely understand and I was the same. I found babies easier than bellies and 1 to 1s easier than group things as you can steer the conversation after you've 'done enough' pregnancy chat.

But if it hurts too much, put it off. Being brave for too long is impossible, and you need to be selfish at times in order to limit the tears. You'll feel stronger or more ready to deal with it later.

I was open about our struggles which meant friends were sensitive with the conversation. I'm not sure if you're telling people, but it might make it easier?

No, you are not a terrible person.

Not in the slightest bit terrible.

I work in an industry where there seem to be a lot of women of baby-having age, and I a lot of the people I have as 'friends' on FB are at that stage and it hurts each time. There is only one pregnant woman I can really bear to be around and that's my best friend - I can be happy for her, but I would like every other pregnant woman to just keep the heck away from me for the foreseeable future, regardless of how nice they are.

Hell no, you are not a terrible person at all. Bloody hell, my friend told me she was 9 weeks the day before I started bleeding during an Ivf 2ww. I can't see her, I can text with her but seeing her is a no no. This does not make me a bad person, I'm protecting my own feelings but also steering clear of being an awkward presence when she makes her big announcement xx

I have been this pregnant friend. My friend didn't tell me that that was why she was avoiding me, I worked it out.

I didn't hold it against her, I totally understood that she found it hard.

You are not a terrible person.

I've unknowingly been the pregnant friend, I didn't realise and my friend avoided me for 3 years. It doesn't make you a bad person, but please tell your friend why so she can be your friend. It all made sense to me when a mutual friend told me, but I was so upset I couldn't work out why my friend was avoiding me!

I sympathise so much with this, I basically stopped seeing one of my close friends when she was pregnant and we were just trying and trying and it seemed endless. She's a big enough person fortunately that now I'm feeling stronger and explained it to her, we're back to being friends.

No you aren't - tell your friend - they will understand I hope. I went a bit bonkers and became irrationally jealous of a couple of close friends with DC while ttc. I talked to them and we are still all friends.