Giving up

[bouncingbelle]

Has anyone else decided to give up treatment/ ran out of options/been refused IVF? I'm 39 and struggling a lot bit with the deep sadness involved and the loss of all our dreams, as well as the guilt of never making my partner a dad.

I don't want to bring anyone down that's just starting treatment but struggling without support and nobody irl knows what to say to us.

39 isn't too old to still have hope! You can keep trying to get ivf on NHS and/ or go private. Also remember adoption is an option. Don't let go of your dreams X

Awwwplease don't give up. My user name says it all. I didn't even get initial tests on the NHS, it cost us over £50k & 18 years of sacrifice to be successful.

I was a week away from hitting 39 when our very last attempt worked.

We were lucky that my parents financially contributed but we did go without a holiday for 6 years despite DH & I both working in excess of 70 hours a werk each.

Have you looked on fertityfriends?

i personally found it very hard to accept that our last attempt may not work so we had many chats about what we'd do as Plan B. We would have given up work, released equity to be mortgage free & move to a cheaper part of the UK to play harf. It was THE hardest comversation I've ever had to have.

Stay strong, look at other options when you feel mentally fit enough to be able to.

Xx

Unfortunately IVF has been refused due to me having a health condition that makes the drs think pregnancy may be too risky for me (basically covering their own backs) :( they also said 'at my age it was unlikely to work'!!!!!!

I don't know if my condition will also rule me out of adoption, I'm frightened to even apply incase they say no and we really have run out of options (dp also not keen)

Mentally I think I am getting to the stage where I WANT all the uncertainty to stop - but I also still desperately want a baby

I understand what you're saying but I think you should try other clinics if you can.

I have a degenerative and disabling spinal condition which I actually managed to turn into a positive by shouting a lot stating that delaying treatment would be detrimental to both my emotional and physical welfare.

Is this something you can consider?

They should not be making comments about your age. I would investigate elsewhere if I were you. When I was 38 I was told by my clinic that as an IVF-er I was still a spring chicken.

Your doctors don't sound at all caring I'm afraid

We looked into adoption but bizarrely got rejected at the first hurdle because of my line of work.....which ironically is childcare! Apparently I would have dedicated my time to work and not 'my' adopted child. If it's not one thing, it's another!