Is there any point in IVF for me?

[ChampagneTastes]

I already have a DS (2.7) but have been trying for a sibling for him for two years. All the usual tests have been done (bloods, sperm, HSG, etc) and come out normal although sperm was at the lower end of normal motility. On this basis we seem to be suffering from unexplained secondary infertility. So is there any point in IVF? Will it increase our chances at all or are we best off just continuing to try and making our lifestyle more healthy? I've cut out caffeine, I cut out alcohol for a month at a time and then return to it with a vengeance when I get my BFN (I realise this is something I need to stop).

I could really do with some advice. Being told there is nothing wrong is so frustrating - at least if there was a problem we would know and be able to plan accordingly.

I don't have much advice but just saw your post and didn't want to leave it unanswered.
That must be very frustrating for you. How old are you and DP? There are some vitamins your DP could take for low motility. Not saying this will work but I was reading something on the Marilyn Glenville site yesterday as we are ttc #2 as well and vitamins were said to be helpful. Have a look on the site for more information.
Also I will be temping and using opk's this cycle as I want to check that I ovulate and then time the deed right! Again, not sure whether you have tried this.
With regards to IVF only you can decide whether this would be helpful. However, it is an option open to you and depending on yours and DP's age you may wish to consider this. Has IUI and any other options been mentioned to you?

How old are you?
My DS is 2.7 too, ivf baby. It worked first time v lucky.

Thanks both for responding. I'm now really quite depressed about the whole thing and finding it a bit much to deal with. I am 35, DH is 34. I'm two stone overweight which I know doesn't help but the cycle I get into is living really healthily, waiting excitedly for a BFP then being disappointed and sinking into piles of chocolate and wine again. I realise I need to grow up a bit and sort myself out.

The thing is, because the infertility is unexplained, IVF may not increase my chances very much I don't think. But then again it might. Oh God I don't know what to do! If someone could just post me step by step instructions for the rest of my life I'd be grateful.

What options have been given to you?

We're in a very similar boat OP: both 35, have DD aged nearly 5 who was conceived pretty much straight away, and have been ttc #2 for nearly 2 years now with 1 mmc at the beginning of last year. All tests have come back clear apart from me having borderline polycystic ovaries, but I seem to ovulate fine and the consultant didn't seem worried about it.

I keep thinking there must be something wrong that the tests simply haven't picked up, which makes me wonder if trying IVF would just be throwing money away, as whatever is preventing us from conceiving now might well prevent the IVF from succeeding too. I just cannot understand how I could have conceived twice fairly easily (the pregnancy I miscarried was cycle 4 of ttc) and now absolutely nothing is happening despite having perfectly timed intercourse every single bloody month!

So I really share your frustration, although I don't have any advice unfortunately.

The NHS won't fund anything so my options are whatever I can do privately. Apparently there's no point in IUI in my situation.

Metalhead It's shit isn't it? It's probably my own fault. There are lifestyle changes I could make which would probably help. I'm not coping well with the rest of world getting pregnant while I am not.

Yep, it sucks. One of my best friends started ttc at the same time as us - her little boy is nearly one now... I can't even blame it on an unhealthy lifestyle I don't think, I mean I probably drink a bit too much wine every now and then but I've really cut down on processed foods, sugar and carbs and it's done exactly nothing for me. So I'm a bit suspicious when it comes to claims about 'clean living' and fertility.

Metalhead- have you had thyroid tested? As that can increase mc risk and occur after birth or mc. (Also seems more common with pcos)
Even with unexplained ivf can work dsis was technically unexplained infertility and has 2dc from 2 ivf cycles. She did have thyroid issue but they didnt think that was the cause.
I guess a lot of it is cost vs age gap between dc vs declining ivf chances over 35. 2 yrs ttc is a long time and i think chances are like 10% for the whole next yr.
Usually its 20% per month.
Its taken 2-3 cycles for us to get pg with dc2 (1 cycle for dc1). With like 30-40% chance per cycle its worth knowing what your limit is and that you can afford more than one go, as its a bit addictive (oh its bound to be better next time, i'll change xyz)

Naty That's really interesting. Committing that amount of money to a possibility rather than a guarantee terrifies me. And we certainly couldn't afford to get addicted to it!

Think i may have been a bit confusing 20% is trying naturally for first few yrs per month. and drops to 10% for the whole yr if trying 2+ yrs

40% or so is per ivf cycle, not sure if that was clear. Depends on age etc
So its higher than trying naturally if youve been trying a long time but can easily take more than 1 go.
Weight can apparently affect ivf success especially over bmi 30.

naty my GP did thyroid along with loads of other blood tests and it came back normal. Neither of the 2 consultants I saw mentioned it either.

Was the tsh under 2.5?

Yes, just checked and it was 1.5 serum tsh.

I'm sorry you are feeling so miserable and frustrated. I have had ivf and I have done a lot of research into the whole world of fertility. It seems that clinics don't focus on a diagnosis but go straight to treatment which is going to be ivf. Statistics on success vary depending on your fertility health, age, smoking status and weight so I wouldn't concern yourself with them. My advice is to eat hralthy, avoid chemicals, get a clinic where they will test thoughroughly. Itvf may or may not be successful but at 35 it is worth a shot if you are financially able. I just think you may regret it if you don’t try it and you may wonder what if.
Either way good luck! X
www.wwww.wakeupsurvivesleep.com

I too am suffering secondary infertility Champagne. I was 34 when we started trying for number 2 and am soon to turn 38. When I first got tested, my day 2 FSH was a nice low 4 and recently it was a shocking 12! They say that fertility decreased from age 25 to 35 and it decreased at double the speed between 35-40. That has certainly been true for me if my I go by my FSH levels and in hindsight, I wish I had of started IVF sooner.

Personally, I think that just because traditional tests have not provided an answer, it doesn't mean you have less chance with IVF. I think if you have had one child successfully, it shows there is nothing wrong with your uterus or body accepting the embryo and that you have a better chance than others.

Over the course of my IVF treatment I have done so much research and age really is the biggest factor. So for me personally, I am trying IVF now rather than always wondering. But of course the money factor comes into it as there is no guarantee so you have to do what is right for you.

I am totally here for you to rant away to if you need. And I can easily rant away in return. This whole thing sucks.

Shellster - thank you. I'm sorry you're going through this too. I'm really confused by all the statistics and I'm really scared about the cost of ivf. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Especially since whatever we do will impact on DS.

Yes, it really makes me feel guilty too having DS. People say 'be grateful you have DS' and it makes me feel like I don't love him enough to be wanting another - even though the women saying this have 2 themselves! I am working hard and feel guilty when I drop DS of at childcare to make money for my imaginary child instead of spending the day with the DS that I have. But I watch other siblings playing when we are at the shops or the pools and it haunts me as I see my DS alone. So I am doing it for him too.

And yes, the cost is really scary too! I have had a few attempts and am about to go into debt to try one last time. It's really putting pressure on me this time that I could end up with a big debt that I will have to work for a year to pay off, with no guarantee at the end of it. But I don't want to wait a year to save the money because my eggs are only aging. It really is a tough decision.

As for the statistics, I try to use them to my advantage. For example, one study shows that eating a high protein low carb diet increases the number of embryos that are good to transfer back to the uterus up to a whopping 50%. I have read studies on increasing my initial egg count and take the supplements that are shown to help with egg quality too. And I have seen an improvement in the number of eggs and my embryo quality with each IVF as I have progressed. So knowing this is my last one, I am TRYING to eat perfect and give it my all. Don't know if this is any help at all. There's no easy answer in all this. Does your hubby have any thoughts on what he would like to do?

DS is an IVF baby after 4years of unexplained infertility. The clinic used to joke with us that on paper we should have a whole army of kids as DH had 'super sperm' and with my AMH being 32 they declared me 'too fertile' (!) for IUI as the lack of control with this treatment meant I could easily end up with unspecified multiples. You should have seen my face when they tried to explain that to me

Needless to say I was convinced that there was no hope for us if everything looked so good on paper and 4years of tests showed no problems what so ever but we still had no baby. I must have just been broken beyond repair I throught. But in May 2014 we transferred one 'OK' blastocysts and he's currently being fed by DH upstairs and turned 5 weeks old today. We were lucky enough that this was our first cycle.

Sorry for waffling but all I wanted to say is that not all hope is lost because your infertility is undiagnosed. I had the same fears and the clinic did everything to explain that it put us at no better or worse odds than anyone else who underwent treatment. The problem with statistics is that is included all couples under all ages/causes of infertility so it's almost impossible to deduce from that what your individual chances would be. Any treatment is terrifying but it might be worth getting some face to face and honest advice from a clinic before embarking on any paid cycles and decide if it is what's best for you. They'll be able to discuss what they think YOUR chances would be and what they would be able to offer which would give you more information to make a better informed decision. Good luck with whatever you decide