Everybody is pregnant :-(

[Pat1ence]

Having a very bad day. Have found out today that my best friend is pregnant, I have another friend who is due in May, and another who has just started ttc. I don't have many friends, these are my closest! To top it off, an aquaintence who has been trying for 3 years also announced her pregnancy a couple of weeks ago.

I feel like I'm being left behind. I can't talk to them as I don't want to make them feel guilty for their happiness. It just all feels so hopeless.

Have been trying for a little over 2 years now, not even a hint of a bfp. I'm early thirties, got pregnant 9 years ago and have a wonderful DS who due to being born at 24wks has severe disabilities. Known endo which has been operated on, seemingly no other issues. Has HSGs, hysteroscopy, laparoscopies, semen analyses, all seems fine. IVF on the horizon after months of failed clomiphene. I ovulate (painfully), have CM, have long but regular cycles and periods. Why isn't it happening for us!!

Was dreading the day all my friends were pregnant at once. That day is close and it's making me want to close the door to the world and wail!! Feel so selfish and pathetic.

Does anybody have a success story? A sympathetic ear? A way to help me through this endless nightmare? I've tried everything. We can only afford one IVF round. What if that fails? How bad are things going to get?! Struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel today!

Hugs to you, it's an awful feeling and I remember it well
I have endo too and my first ICSI is just being bathed by Daddy :) Endo is rubbish.
Feel free to rant xxx

I was like you, though no successfull pregnancys at all. I am now at 25 weeks with a little girl. So with a bit of help from the hospital, you could be really lucky like me. I feel guilty as I know lots of people ttc and terrified because of all the misscarages. But mostly I feel really happy that my body finally did what it is supposed to and my little girl is doing everything she should be.

I used to know just how you felt. I tried for ages to get pregnant and everyone else was getting pregnant so easily. Then eventually after IVF (that seemed to be going really badly) we had our little miracle who is now running around the kitchen. Keep hopeful. Hope is so powerful! Thinking if you x

Endo here too and probably about 5 years TTC. (and 3 years with an ex too, who had an affair and she got pregnant straight away)

I had a lap and removal of endo in Oct 13. All tests now are normal, clear tubes, healthy ovaries and normal sperm - just one of those unexplained things.

Keeps happening to me too - friends who TTC and get pregnant in the same month - some have had two babies in the time I've been TTC this time round with my DH and it's heart-breaking - but like you, you can't say anything because you don't want to bring them down.

I was on the list 2 years (NHS) and had a meltdown with them (because the date kept moving) and asked for the healthboard address to complain - lo and behold a letter dropped through the door inviting me to consultation within 5 days!

I am at treatment planning today and then it's all systems go - I'm finally at the horizon that I had been waiting for FOREVER (it felt like) so don't give up hope, you will get there.

And if it helps, I frequently close the door, climb under my duvet and wail - let it all out xx

Phephenson that is brutal. That must have been so difficult. It's a fear of mine, not that my DH will cheat but that he'll get sick of all this and leave me to make a baby with somebody else. Completely unfounded fear but it's always in the back of my mind.

My confidence has gone. I can't believe that little old me is going to have to resort to such invasive treatment. I thought IVF only happened to other people! Is it normal to get cold feet? I feel like waiting just a bit longer and seeing if we can do it the old fashioned way but I know in my logical brain, I'd end up a little bit older and a lot more miserable! Feel like the clock is ticking so loudly I can't hear myself think.

It's like I'm stuck in a shitty moment, on my own, with my life on hold, while everybody else carries on with normality. I've never known an emotional rollercoaster like it. I'm not the woman I used to be, my motivation has gone. All I can think about is what is wrong in there and if next month will be the month. I'm driving myself insane.

My DH is always there for a hug or a pep talk but he doesn't seem to get it. He can't understand why I'm so upset at my friends' good news. I don't know if he's trying to be strong, if he wants to gloss over it because he can't fix it or if that's just a mans perspective. He's convinced it will happen, he has hope in abundance. I'm scared of hope! I try but then despair creeps in...

Thank you for making me realise I'm not the only person on the planet to feel this way, it certainly feels like it!

Reading that back I sound utterly self absorbed. i never used to be like this!!

Pat1ence - and it's fine to feel like that!! It's utterly shit being left behind when everyone else is pregnant! xx

Your not self absorbed as you don't want to upset your friends. It is ok to feel down xxx

i have been reading these forums for quite a while and have finally got the courage to talk and hopefully get some support. I know how you feel. My husband and I have been TTC for almost three years now and have been on Clomid for last three months. In this time all of my friends have become pregnant and had children. My best friend just had a baby yesterday and my other best friend announced her pregnancy two months ago. I hate feeling jealous and envious of girls who are like sisters to me but it makes my heart ache. I feel quite isolated as I am now the only one out of my group of friends who is without a child or not pregnant. I sometimes feel this is just never gonna going to happen for us.

Probably should have said about the ex - he had an affair because he was an idiot but also because it was an ill fated marriage from the start and TTC was sticking a plaster on a giant gaping wound. He didn't leave because of the length of time TTC - I didn't mean to frighten you Pat1ence.

He's had an affair with a man since he married the other woman - there's no pleasing some people

Chin up, you will get there xx

pephenson he sounds charming bless you for reassuring me. It awful during these bad days/weeks. I have everything crossed that you IVF is a breeze and it works first time. It's a crying shame there's no guarantee but if we don't try, we don't know. When will things start? I'd love to know how down regging and stimming feels with endo. Could you keep me posted?

nicobell hope the Clomid works for you. The side effects for me were bad. It completely changed my personality. My dr said I could have had another 6months at a higher dose (I ovulate but it's very late and painful so could be a 'faulty' ovulation) as a boost but it's still sat in my drawer. I think our only hope is IVF.

I too feel like it'll never happen. I feel like a failure. It's horrible. I'm constantly fighting my feelings towards friends for being so fertile. They keep telling me to 'just relax'. Playing the actress is getting more and more difficult. I feel like I should have had as many babies as I could when I was young! Before the symptoms of endo began! Its so hard to have to try so hard for something that others get so easily.

Pat1ence the clomid has me all over the place. The mood swings are horrific and I also feel like they mimic pregnancy symptoms. Did you experience this? Veins on breasts which I never had before pain in breasts and bloating. It gets my hopes up then nothing :(