So it has come to IVF...feeling devastated....

[eddiethehorse]

After a year and a half of TTC for DC2, having tried all combinations of drugs, acupuncture, diet etc we will start IVF tomorrow as AF arrived today. Even though i have always known this was going to happen I can not explain my reaction today...i have no other word to describe how i feel other than devastated. What the hell is wrong with me & my body? ....the dr can't find anything particularly wrong with me, other than FSH (because I'm almost 40). I had a MC a year and a half ago. Is it normal to feel like this? I know i should be feeling positive etc but just can't.....sorry but just had to get this out, i don't really have anyone to talk to who will understand.

[bishboschone]

Have you tried clomid ? My friend has 3 clomid babies . Im no expert though .. Good luck .

[HawkeyeInChaos]

I found ivf as a whole a complete rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes there was hope and optimism, sometimes despair and pessimism. Sometimes all at once. When I first started ivf I was excited, but also sad and angry that 'it had come to this' and my body hadn't been able to do what I most wanted it to do.

When it comes to ivf there is no 'should'. You feel what you feel, and whatever it is you are entitled to feel it.

Wishing you all the best.

[AnnieHoo]

Hi Eddie

Yes it's completely normal. I feel like that too so I totally understand. It's hard. I feel like a fraud in the clinic like at some point someone is going to say "hold on... you shouldn't be here! there's been a mistake..". Then I realise at 41 the odds are against me so I need the help. I also had a mc last year (and the year before), tried Clomid and was given diagnosis of "unexplained infertility". It sucks! I believe it's just age... Come and join us on the IVF thread. Lovely ladies over there and we're all going through it together. It can be very tough emotionally at times so please don't go through it alone. I really hope it works for you.

[eddiethehorse]

Thanks everyone. Had a really horrible day yesterday...on top of AF the results of my AMH came back at 0.67...but what you can do? Only deal with the issues best you can. Had a glass of wine and a good cry!x

[TheTravellingLemon]

Eddie, remember that everything seems worse on the day that AF arrives. You'll feel much more positive in a few days.

It's all normal. Good luck and join the thread!