Had successful IVF. How to decide when/if to have FET or try again

[FatimaLovesBread]

DH and I had a successful cycle of IVF in 2012 and now have a fab two year old. In currently agonising over the decision of if/when to go for a second.
We have one frozen embryo in storage until spring and I originally thought I had loads of time before we'd have to decide what step to take next but those three years have flown by.

How did you make the decision to go for FET/further IVF? And when?
I thought I'd be really broody and want another ASAP but I'm not. Although I'm not sure if that's a self preservation kind of thing.

I'm grateful for any input

[naty1]

We had no frosties so saw clinic when DC was 1. Treatment last jan failed then low response in aug.
Im now pg following EC in oct. DC will be 3.
You are lucky to have a frostie.
Did it only take 1 for previous success?
I was 34 so we couldnt really wait any longer and didnt want a large gap.
Only thing is sometimes its easier not to start, as you may not be too set on it but then you go to the effort and want it more (i found)
So you may want to work out how much you would spend if necessary

[BadgerFace]

I guess it depends partly how old you are and how much you want a second! We had a successful cycle in 2012 with DD born Jan 2013 and we are very lucky to have 6 frozen embryos.

We've been trying naturally for No 2 since June in the hope of a miracle but with the thinking that we'd do an FET in late Jan/early Feb if unsuccessful. We had a consultation at the ACU in November and have the nurse's appointment next week and the cycle will start when (if, ha ha!) my period arrives mid-Jan. I'm 37 end of Jan and DH is 42 so we didn't want to leave it any longer. A 2.5 - 3 year age gap is what I wanted so fingers crossed things will work out.

I haven't been particularly broody and it is a bit hard to think about getting back on the crazy IVF train when life seems fairly manageable at the moment in terms of toddler/work/2 of us to one of her but I would love a sibling for her in the long term. I probably have a bit of self-preservation by not being broody like you say in case it doesn't work out this time. Then again 8/9 of the new friends I made when DD was a baby have now had their second or are pregnant and it's a bit hard to be one of the last in a way... Although I never wanted 2 under 2 so maybe I wasn't ready to be pregnant again until now!

[BadgerFace]

Sorry, that was long!

Do you have to decide by the spring? Can you pay for longer storage of your frozen embryo instead if you're not sure yet? That's an option at my ACU. I think we have to pay £200 or £300 from DD's second birthday per year for storage.

[FatimaLovesBread]

Thank you both for replying.
We were successful on our first cycle luckily. I did an egg share cycle so had less eggs in the first place but know I'm lucky to have the embryo.
We don't have to decide by the Spring, we can pay for another two years storage for something like £250 but I had wanted to have some idea of what I want to do before then.

My age isn't really a factor, more DH's in that he doesn't want to be too much older, but it's not DH that's unsure of the next step, he'd have another tomorrow if he could.

I definitely would like another child but there's so many things on my mind. I think it must be a self-preservation thing in that the sooner we use the frosty and if it doesn't work then the sooner we've got to make a decision on whether to go through more IVF or just be happy we have one. When I had the previous cycle, I said afterwards that I was so happy it worked first time as I didn't think I could go through it again but then on the other hand I don't want just one child. Although the longer we leave, am I just prolonging the inevitable?

I've got completely selfish things on my mind too, like I'd like a Spring baby next time rather than a winter one but then if we went for treatment this summer, if successful I'd be due around a milestone birthday of mine. And the sooner we have a second child (if indeed we ever do) then the sooner we'll need to move to a bigger house. I know these things don't really matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Sorry if i'm rambling, it feels nice to vent :)

[BadgerFace]

Ramble away!! If age isn't a factor then if I were you I'd probably pay the storage costs and wait and see, you'll know when you're ready I think. Even if it turns out to be three months later then don't feel like it's a waste of the storage fee, it was the right decision at the time. Look at it as just one of the costs involved.

I totally get not wanting another winter baby!! I have been feeling the same way as my busiest time at work is Dec & Jan and it's quite a lot to sort out Christmas presents & arrangements etc, be working long hours (and now trying to get it all done in 3 days a week) and then have DD's birthday in the first week of Jan... One of my major factors for wanting to have a miracle natural pregnancy this month is that then it would be an August baby. My upcoming FET would result in a December baby... Of course I would be delighted and feel blessed with the baby full stop but the thought of added stress at that time of year trying to organise something else, not to mention work's no doubt dim view of me going off again on Mat leave at that point... And it would be nice to be able to have some park related birthday parties!

I can totally see how having the frozen one in the bank feels like you can put off the bigger decisions like a future fresh cycle if needed but I'd try not to worry about it. It might never come to it, and you might surprise yourself. I think the passage of time has erased for me how emotional the whole journey was and I know at the time I said one cycle only. But I'm pretty sure now that if I didn't have my frozen ones I'd be starting a fresh cycle. In fact I asked at my consultation if the results were better for a fresh cycle as if so I thought I was better doing one now and saving the FET for later due to my age. Thankfully the answer was FET was just as likely to be successful. The difficulties of this part of the journey will be forgotten in due course too.