Hi makingdoo

I hope this is normal because I have felt exactly the same! We've been TTC for 38 months and due to start IVF in January. We are getting close now and have started the initial appointments, we're seeing the embryologist in a few weeks.

I keep swinging wildly between every different emotion: I can't wait to start treatment, I can't deal with our infertility, my heart is breaking, I actually quite like our current lifestyle, we are quite happy as we are, I might cry if I see another pregnant woman, this is so bloody unfair, is IVF actually even safe, what about the thoughts we'd had of looking into other ways of creating a family, omg I need to hold my baby in my arms right now, what a failure I am, maybe we're not meant to have children, thank god we've reached the top of the waiting list, isn't modern medicine amazing...

...And a million other thoughts! You are put into a position where you are forced to give the whole thing a lot of thought, so you end up over-analysing things. My sister found herself unexpectedly 8 weeks pregnant and I envy that easy certainty she has about everything.

Discuss it with your DP and maybe make use of the counselling offered? And good luck

Omg you've just described how I feel too!

Got our referral in Sept, offered treatment in early Oct and I said I needed more time to think about it! A few months before it was all I wanted in the world and fought so hard to get referred. The Dr said come back in a few months when we've decided. I called a few weeks later to make another appointment as I knew there was a wait. This appointment is Nov 27th and I know we wouldnt start any treatment until January so it gave us 3 months to change our minds but we wanted to be on the waiting list. I'm having doubts again already. I'm glad we can share these feelings x

I've told several people we are having to have treatment, best friends, both our mums. I've not told anyone but dh about the doubts! Poor dh didn't know about the doubts until I blurted out in the appointment that I wanted to wait! Then he didn't want to talk about it on the way home. It was a bit of a turn around as I was the one pestering him for a baby at the start when he wasn't sure! Now he really wants a baby!

solaia all your inner monologue is what goes on in my head too.

makingdoo what happens now you've been removed from the list? Do you have another massive wait?!

Appointment on 27th to confirm we want to start treatment. Normally it starts the next cycle at our clinic as there is no waiting list but my next CD1 after the appointment will be mid December. They don't start treatment around Xmas and new year so I guess it will be mid Jan. We've been offered 3x iui by the way, and 1x ivf on nhs.

Hi ladies, just wondering how long it took from the gp referring you to the clinic getting in touch to arrange the first consultation?
Our gp referred us 3 weeks ago, but we haven't heard anything yet...

Its probably different everywhere Sam but we were told 6 weeks. There is no harm in calling your clinic direct and asking how long the wait for an appointment is, I did. And it was lucky I did as I found out my GP had filled in the forms wrong and not sent our test results and we had been rejected! Had to start the wait again! Referred in June and had first appointment early September in the end. I'm sure your referral will go through smoothly, bad luck just follows me and dh around like a bad smell lol. Good luck!

Thanks Victoria, might give them a call on Monday. X

There was no waiting list when I was referred do it all happened too quickly for me and I ended up pushing it back a few months. These feelings are normal.

I have a one track mind at the moment, can't stop thinking about it! Not helped by the (it feels) constant pregnancy/baby announcements and 'it'll be you next' comments

Thank you for sharing your experiences. X

Sorry, didn't realise there were more replies on this thread.

Re telling people, I was happy to tell people (DH less so) but as the treatment has got closer I've been more reluctant. Also, my sisters unexpected pregnancy has changed the way I feel about our infertility. I used to be able to think 'this is just the way it is, nothing to be ashamed of' but somehow her pregnancy has made me feel humiliated at my own lack of ability to reproduce. Ridiculous, I know!

Our wait has been far longer than you all seem to have had! Our GP referred us to the fertility clinic in July 2013, we had an appointment in November 2014, they undertook some investigations and put us on the waiting list in Feb 2014. The waiting list is around a year so we start IVF at the end of January 2015. So a year and a half from referral to treatment starting. It's been a long haul!

Sorry that should be November 2013 ^

Goodness what a wait solaia. Are u in England? I've heard Wales and Scotland have awful waiting lists.

I know how you feel about seeming like you're the only one with a problem in the family. Me and dh both come from massive families with loads of uncles aunts and cousins, and all the cousins have had masses of kids too. My mum got preg with me and my sister in cycle 1and cycle 2 respectively. My sister got preg from a missed pill! No infertility there! What went so wrong with us?!

Yes in Scotland, there are far longer waiting lists than the Health. Board area I'm in, so I feel pretty lucky! I think it's specifically a year for 'unexplained' infertility, as a % of those on the waiting list will conceive naturally in that time. If the first round doesn't work I think we'll start paying privately. We are moving house to a different area and I am not waiting again!

I am from a massive family and have 7 nieces and nephews all born since 2010. We started trying after the 3rd was born in 2011. I'm not sure why it is us, but that's just the road we're on.