First time ivf

[nutty123]

Hi all,
After four years trying ( and not a sniff of a bfp) I start my first ivf cycle tomorrow. Part of me is very excited, (but trying not to think of the 20% success rate!) the other half is devastated as I really didn't think it would come to this.

Has anyone else felt this way?

I should be grateful that this is funded, and I am, but very scared about the whole process. I'm on the verge of tears and not sure why!

Sorry for the me me me post but needed to offload

Thanks

Hey Nutty. I've just replied to a post you're on elsewhere, but wanted to send huge sympathy to you. I started my first cycle today too and there are many emotions kicking around. It is really scary and I don't thinkwe'd be human if we didn't have wobbles sometimes!!

I hope you have people around you holding your hand and being sympathy; I hope your clinic are nice; and lots of good vibes from here too.

Hi Nutty
I totally sympathise as I felt exactly the same way. We've just completed our first IVF cycle (BFN guttingly), and I would say I came to it kicking and screaming as everything about it was against everything I believe in. I looked at it like I never wanted to be "one of those couples" and couldn't bear the idea of the sympathetic, usually annoying, comments from friends and family. I also couldn't bear the idea of all that interference as I'm a really private person and it felt so awful having people prodding, both literally and metaphorically, into my private life!
But look, I have to tell you, once I'd got my head around it and got past those first few milestones of box of meds arriving, first injections, first scans etc, it honestly was nowhere near as bad as I'd anticipated. You soon get the hang of the injections (not my idea of fun, but not the end of the world either) and sort of just get into a weird pattern of doing what you have to do. I did a sort of mood board thing of baby pictures, any little motivating phrases, hippyish sayings, the lot, and stuck them on the bedroom wall to keep me focused on the end goal. I also did one of those relaxation/hypnosis tapes whenever I felt stressed which also really helped.
I also think just be kind to yourself, be a bit selfish, don't do anything you don't want to do for the next few weeks, it's just about looking after number one,which I think as women we find really hard to do.
Anyway, really good luck with it all and honestly, you'll be out the other side and hopefully with a big fat BFP before you know it!
Fingers crossed and a big hug
xxxxx