Scared of first IVF round

[TailFeathers]

I was feeling quite brave about it til I had the endo scratch yesterday (which, um, yuck) and now I'm pretty scared.

It's my first round, and we're self-funded, so I'm bouncing back and forward between "oh my god, we're so broke" with "oh my god, this whole thing is so horrible".

The clinic hasn't been great about giving us info, even when we've asked, so I'm not really clear how long I'll have to have injections for, or how many. I just know "lots" and "weeks"...

I guess i'm just hoping that there might be someone out there who's starting next week, too, or if anyone can help me find some calming thoughts before I wind myself up any more :(

TailFeathers, firstly don't wind yourself up. I didn't find the injections too bad, I'm in the 2ww of my first ivf but I had 2 x iui (medicated) prior to this.

You will have a baseline scan on day 2-4 of your period and the day you star that you'll probably start injecting. I was on Suprecur (buseralin) and then menopur injections started the day after - you might be on something g different, I think it's all brand names of essentially the same stuff. You'll have a couple of monitoring scans - I was short protocol so only had 2 scans between starting stims and egg collection and was only injecting for 11 days I think. About 36 hours prior to egg collection, you'll have your trigger shot and then you'll go in for egg retrieval.
Yes, it's a little painful after but don't worry, the pain can be handled with a few paracetamol.

In my case, I knew how many eggs had been retrieved and had a call the following day to say how many had fertilised. I got a call 2 days later to say how many had carried on and the embryologist told me they were looking at a 5-day transfer; I had 2 blastocysts transferred on day 5 - again, not painful.

I hope the above helps - I have limited knowledge!! I wish you the best of luck. x

It's normal to feel anxious. Until the clinic know how your body is responding to the drugs, they can't give definite timescales, but once you start treatment they will be able to give windows when things might happen. I think it was something like "we will do XXX on either Tues or Wed".

The injections aren't that bad - I had an injector pen which made it a lot easier.

Good luck - I have a beautiful daughter thanks to the miracle of IVF. I hope you get your miracle too.

Thank you both so much for the kind words... I can't tell you how much it helps....

Hare5260, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

And thank you worldgonecrazy for the happy story from the other side (as it were!) :)

I was waiting for all the nasty side effects from the injections and they just never came, the only thing I felt was really swollen when it was almost time for egg collection..

Fingers cross you'll breeze through it too !

We are on our first (private) ICSI cycle. Embryos are currently in the lab and will hopefully be transferred back today or Monday. Just wanted to say I was exactly like you a few weeks back - absolutely dreading it! But there really is nothing to it. The thought of every part of it is far worse than the reality. When do you start? Have they said whether you'll be short or long protocol? I suspect they won't commit on how long you'll be injecting as they don't know themselves - it depends on how well you respond to the drugs. Just as a guide I did short protocol. I had my baseline scan on 9th Sept and started injecting that evening. I had 4 scans whilst injecting. My EC was Sept 24th and as I said I'm still waiting for ET!
All he very best with your cycle. Keep us updated and we are here if you need us!

Tailfeathers, I could have written your post, 6 months ago. I was feeling exactly the same way. The night before my first injection, I had a complete meltdown. I felt I owed it to DH to try everything, but I was so scared of messing around with my hormones, turning into a witch (we have a ds, aged 6 and I was pretty flaky on pregnancy hormones), having horrible side-effects, being mad at work....you name it, I was worried about it.

We did a fresh cycle in April and a FET in August. Neither of them worked, but they were both so much easier than I thought they'd be. We're just starting out on our second fresh cycle - which will be our last - and I feel fine about it.

Mumsnet's been a godsend - lots of lovely likeminded women, going through similar things and supporting each other. It's kept me sane.

And hello Happy - we've chatted before, haven't we?

Hi, just wanted to say that I feel exactly the same way. I start my down regging drugs on Friday! This is my first time and I am both excited and terrified!! Trying not to get my hopes up, but after 4 years trying, this is a positive step forward. However, the yellow needle box freaked me out a bit!!!

Try not to worry I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant after our first ivf. It really wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, it is full of lots of little hurdles that you have to cross but I think the main thing is too stay positive, make sure you have plenty of time to relax but also have nice things planned to keep your mind off it. I also didn't tell anyone we were doing ivf which meant that I didn't have to answer people's questions and could easily escape it. Good luck xxx

Hi Tailfeathers

Could have written your post too. We are self funding our first round of ivf with icsi and it happened quicker than I had planned. We have been trying for three years but at our first app at the clinic the doctor said to me 'are you going to be any more scared in two months' time?' and the answer was no. So here we are. I'm on a short protocol so started gonal f injections last Monday and added in the antagonist injection from last Friday.

Back into the clinic tomorrow for scans etc. All you can do is ask if you have questions. Especially as you're prob coughing up a lot of cash. We just raided our house deposit fund AGAIN. But I keep telling myself it wasn't enough to buy a house yet and we weren't doing anything else with it right now so we won't really notice it's not there. (Please please don't let the car/boiler/washing machine break down now I've said that!)

Anyway, it will be okay. I read something in a magazine this week and it was something like 'fear and excitement are two sides of the same sword'. Which feels true with ivf as it is very exciting but at the same time you're terrified it won't work.

Just try to concentrate on the exciting side. But let yourself have a wee cry if it gets a bit much. I certainly have! PS the injections really don't hurt, I found the thought worse than the reality.

Keep us updated x

I really appreciate all these lovely replies. Thank you and sorry for not replying sooner. I had a bit of a panicky weekend and ended up crying a lot and being a bit "help help why are we doing this"-ish. It really helps knowing it's not just me. Thanks everyone. This community really is the best.

Hi TailFeathers. It's ok to be a bit panicky. Ivf is pretty scary and very emotional. But it's also miraculously brilliant too - we had 3 rounds. And we now have the most beautiful DD (now 15 months old). Try and stay relaxed and positive - easier said than done, but worth a try. And keep on mn as you'll get more support than you'd ever imagine - it was a lifeline for me.

Good luck and hope you get your bfp v soon