how can I stop this broody feeling? its killing me

[Deenamumof1]

Recently been diagnosed with PCOS and also abnormal uterine bleeding doctors have diagnosed me with a 1% chance of ever having anymore children.
I have a 2 year old son who is my absolute life, but naturally im starting to feel broody.
What makes it worse is that my brother is having a baby with his girlfriend who are not a stable relationship, she phones the police every time they have an argument. They both dont have jobs, she has 3 children by 3 different men who not one of them see the children, so I cant feel excited for my neice or nephew (which makes me feel guilty) but why do people like her get to pop kids out every 9 months and me and my loving partner can't. I often do stupid things like sit online of an evening and go on mothercare website and sit and put things in the basket just to see what it would feel like if I was pregnant. Anyone out there know how to stop feeling broody?

Try mindfulness it's worth a go. Look it up online.

Sounds intresting, thanks very much

Wish I knew the answer! No help at all I know. But I just want to say you are not alone.

My husband has 100% abnormal sperm and we are currently undergoing IVF. Meanwhile, my husbands brother and his partner have a one year old and got pregnant with their second while they live of government handouts. Makes me so frustrated that I am working hard to spend thousands on IVF to have my own child, but I have to give away a portion of it in tax to raise their child for them instead because he doesn't want to work.

Out of interest, what causes the abnormal uterine bleeding? I have heard of PCOS and these women undergoing medical treatment to have children, but I assume the additional abnormal bleeding doesn't make this an option for you?

Its such a horrible feeling isnt it. Its like my brother phoned my mother today and said he moving back home, he does this about 3 times a week I mean how can you raise a baby in that it makes me so angry!!
I wish I could tell you I had an ultra sound and they told me the linen of my womb was extremely thick which they werent expecting as im constantly bleeding so they expected it to be very very thin, so now my doctor has refered me to a gynaecologist but its a 28 week waiting list so I have no idea and I wont until 2015 probably so frustrating, and all I see every where is pregnant ladies or little babies. And im happy for women who have this amazing opportunity but I cant help but feel this amazingly strong feeling of jealousy. Its so bloody hard
also good luck with IVF we have looked into it but I hsve to wait for the gynaecologist

Yep, that sounds frustrating alright knowing people raising children in those conditions. My husbands other brother also drives me nuts in this regard. He got a 14y.o. girl pregnant, then he married a chinese lady and had a baby with here, then had an affair on the chines lady and decided he liked the mistress better so divorced the chinese lady. He gets engaged to the mistress, cheats on the mistress and gets caught but he marries her anyway and now they have just had a child! This guy is spreading his seed to any woman who will part her legs for him and leaving emotionally scarred children around the state while I want to provide one with the very best and I can't.

We are turning this thread into a bit of a whinge fest but it's great to get it off our chest. The NHS is SO slow. I can't believe you have to wait 28 weeks! I assume you got your son naturally? Did all the trouble with bleeding start all of a sudden after him?

As for me, I was meant to have my embryo transferred today. I couldn't sleep from 5am. I was so excited. I started re-reading my breastfeeding book in preparation! Then I got a call at 8am. The transfer is cancelled as it died overnight. It's all costing $$$$ and I keep saying each time this IVF is the last but then when it fails, I can't let go and feel I have to try again.

Oh my god I hate people like him they can just get anyone pregnant, but the most stable and loving relationship have trouble its so unfair,
I know 28 weeks is such a long time, ive been bleeding since February and its so draining.
Yes I caught naturally with my son I never had any problems before I had him.
I feel so bad for you it must be emotionally and physically tiring, I'd be exactly the same not knowing when to give up, but it is sooooo expensive. Thinking of you today

Yep, makes it difficult when I am constantly coming up with excuses if hubbys family are having get together and I know they're going to be there. I know I should move past it, but I just don't want to face them and have to fake being nice when it's not how I feel.

Is the NHS slow with everything? What if the condition is life threatening? I thought it must be just IVF that they are slow with seeing as so many couples are on the list, but now you have to wait 28 weeks too. Were you trying naturally before the bleeding with no success or was it something you were going to attempt in the future until you were told 1% chance?

I felt just so hollow and empty inside yesterday. Trying to pick myself up off the floor today. Just went for morning walk to try and help my body recover from this IVF so I can try again soon. I got 5 eggs this IVF cycle but only 1 fertilised. Will make an appt with my IVF Dr tomorrow for follow up. Need to work out how to improve fertilisation rate. I have a theory as to why it happened so at least I have a glimmer of hope that things will improve next IVF cycle.

It must be so hard, I feel for you!!
Well for a while I thought it was cancer but when I went for my ultra sound they told me it wasn't, so they don't think its life threatening but after my scan I went to the doctors after I was told it was a 28 week waiting list I asked if I could be pushed forward because im bleeding constantly and my doctor told me there were people on the waiting list waiting for a hysterectomy, so I couldn't, so yeah I assume everything is slow wth the NHS
no we weren't trying, I just knew something was wrong due to the bleeding then they told me about the 1% chance.
We've considered IVF, but were getting married next year. So it wouldn't be until 2016 but it scares me at the same time I will take it so hard if it doesn't work. I admire your courage to keep trying it sounds so scary. Hope you conceive soon!!!

You sound young to be still getting married next year?
I hope that means that time is on your side and things will be okay once they sort out this bleeding for you.
I guess even if with IVF, they would first need to sort our your constant bleeding anyway.
Yep, IVF is very hard to take when it doesn't work.
I think that's why I am quickly back at the Dr after each failed IVF, as I can't stand dwelling on the failure and accepting that I won't hold another child in my arms, so I am quick to move on to plan B.
Okay... going to get ready for my appt with my IVF Dr to see if I can find out why only 1 in 5 eggs fertilised this cycle and how to fix things for next cycle.

Im 23, the wedding was all booked before I found out about the 1% chance.
ill be 25 in 2chance 2016 so hopefully the bleeding and everything that comes with it will have been sorted out by then so my body will ge ready for IVF
not to sound cheeky, but never found out how much it costs each time you try IVF how much is it?
Hope the dr gives you answers nothing worse than not having a clue about things, I wish I could help you!!

OP I just posted and then read yours and sounds unbelievably similar to what I'm experiencing now. I don't know what to do with the broody feelings either. Also have an almost 2yr old. The thickened lining and strange bleeding as well. it's all so bloody unfair and strange to me - I thought I would be so forever grateful I got 1 that I would never moan if no more happened

Let me know if you find anything helps.

I am in Australia Deena, so not sure that our prices here are comparable. Last year I went to a cheaper clinic and was about $2000 each try. But I could see why they were cheaper and now am at a clinic where it's about $5000 a try. So your only issue is your lining? How would IVF help to overcome that?

Oh as weird as it sounds its nice to know theres someone out there with the same thing as me, Its horrible wanting something you cant have. And a constant reminder that your bleeding and not pregnant im in wales in the uk the prices would be different, no I also have polycystic ovaries and apparently a really bad case as some people only have a few cycts but I have millions, and IVF was an option my doctor suggested

Yes Deena, I have PCOS and Endo don't know how many cysts but both. Was told id need IVF but then conceived naturally and found out same week as they said IVF was only option left.

Awww thats a nice thing to hear. Are you ttc again?

Deena, nice you've found Choohoo with similar circumstances. Exactly as you say, I know how nice it feels to meet and chat with someone in the same circumstances as yourself. So I shall leave you two to chat...

Oh don't go on my behalf shellster!

No Deena, I put a post of how much I wish I was/tempted to but aside from the fact there's near no chance of me conceiving anyhow, it would be daft for me to currently TTC even if I could - seperated, dangerously overweight etc so that all needs to be sorted.

You dont have to leave all fertility issues are difficult its nice for all women to talk dont leave.
Im pretty new to this I dont know how it all works.
Oh im sorry to hear that. I was confused did you find out after your little one or before you had pcos and the abnormal bleeding?

I knew about the PCOS and endo and was TTC for years before my tot happened

Since having him i have a really thickened lining and abnormal bleeding they are investigating...

Confusing.com - sorry lol

Oh right its exactly like me but I didnt know I had pcos before my son, I had a miscarriage before I had him then 2 months after that I conceived my son and my period were always regular before my son so I find it hard to believe I had it before but ever since ive had my little one my body has given up lol
its bloody draining isnt it bleeding all the time, and soooooo expensive I worked it out I spend what most women spend in 4 months in just 1 month, tampons and pads should be free!!! Im thinking of running for prime minister so I can make them free lol

I'm not sure how you make the feeling go away but I found it easier if I had a project I could through myself into -a new challenge at work, running a marathon, a big DIY project. Distraction works- you need something to want to google other than Mothercare. It won't stop you feeling squashed every time someone else announces a pregnancy, but it might help you out in between times

(disclaimer- I have never run a marathon and likely never will! But you get the gist!)

i second the distraction idea. we have been trying for over a year but I have no cycle. waiting for all the scans to be done and for all the appts was killing us, so to distract ourselves we recently got a little kitten (3 months old, utterly adorable). he has stopped that aching helpless feeling, helped us both to cope. now the wait isnt so bad, we have a baby of sorts to care for and who is very demanding (bless him), so we no longer have time to worry about everything!