So sorry to hear about your miscarriages, Annie - I've been there and it's a tough thing to deal with.

I'm also 41 and have just completed my first round of IVF. I'd put it off until it really was the last option, because I hated the thought of all that interference with my body, but actually it was much less of a big deal than I ever expected, I didn't have any side-effects and I found the whole thing absolutely fine. Sadly it didn't work, but we got two good quality 5-day blastocysts and we were able to freeze the one we didn't transfer, so we get another go without all the cost of a fresh cycle.

My clinic gave me quite a lot of advice about improving egg quality, including a low-carb/high protein diet (this was quite a change for me as I hadn't eaten meat since I was a teenager and started eating some meat to improve my protein-intake) and keeping really well hydrated with 2 litres of water and a litre of milk every day for the first half of my cycle. I guess the same principles could help with improving egg quality on clomid too?

I only produced 5 follicles, which I was really disappointed with, but they were all good quality, they all fertilised and as I say, we had two suitable ones at the end. I guess there is more control with IVF as they can pick the good ones, but you also have more information about what is going on - how many follicles, eggs, how they are doing on day 2, 3 etc., and for me, that was quite helpful as it felt as if I was finally taking back some control over my fertility.

Good luck

Hi I'm also 41 and just had a failed round of IVF. It all went perfectly but the embryo didn't implant sadly. I keep wondering if it's poor egg quality and then I worry about the increased risk of Down's syndrome and miscarriage. Because of these things I have decided to use an egg donor to increase my chance of success
My advice to you is to get a move on, we are old ladies in fertility years.
Good luck x

I'm going abroad for my next treatment, it's so much cheaper! If money is a factor you should look into it
People try to say the right thing but if you look at the cold hard facts egg quality is diminishing fast after 40
I'm excited for you starting your journey

15-20% chance is not to be sniffed at go for it

Ivf does get more eggs, you coukd get years worth.
But there is no guarantee that the embies returned are normal to grow into pregnancy and then not miscarry. They can pick the best looking first.
But then yours is growing and implanting already on clomid.
Adv of ivf
you could put 2 back eack time.
Its very controlling of your hormones eg progesterone support
You know the eggs have fertilised
You will get an idea of how many follicles you get so how worthwhile ivf is going to be
All the embryos generated are at your age when it is done rather than a month older each month
Disadv
depending on protocol it can take 4-6 weeks
I start day 21 1 cycles do weeks of down regging the pill etc then start stimms.
But some people start day1
Then your body may need to recover for a couple of months after a failed cycle.
Is the clomid on the nhs?

Im 34 and icsi didnt wirk this time i was told it was a chance failure.
I dont think they can identify embies that would implant but not miscarry maybe pgd if it is thought genetic abnormalities
Eg my DSis put back 2 embies but only 1 took
Same happened to us
50% of eggs are abnormal , on average and this gets higher with age.
So the presumption with my failed cycle is neither implanted as both mine were abnormal. Next time i might get 2 normal ones (as its luck) and have twins.
Or i guess i could have a higher than usual number of abnormals for my age and keep getting 2 abnormals each time.
If you get lots of eggs at egg collection you are more likely to be successful through sheer number of transfers you can do.

Annie if you can go privately for IVF, there may be advantages over and above not having to wait the 6-9 months. I was comparing notes with my brother in law yesterday. They've had two rounds of NHS ICSI and they were told that they couldn't freeze a single blastocyst, whereas our private clinic allowed us to freeze a single one. (Indeed, there was a point at which it looked as if we may have had two possible candidates for freezing and they were going to do them both separately so that we could thaw and use them individually.) I was quite shocked: that means that the NHS (or at least their PCT) is prepared to let a good blastocyst go to waste when a FET cycle costs about £1000 as opposed to about £6000 for a fresh ICSI cycle. But it's a question to ask. One of the things I've found really refreshing about our IVF treatment is the fact that the clinic welcomes questions and suggestions/opinions about one's treatment.

Thank you . You're right...you have to bury those "what if?s" because you just end up in an unhealthy cycle of misery about something you can't do anything about. Bizarrely, even though IVF didn't work for us this time, I feel much happier than I did this time last year, aimlessly ttc. The truth is that none of the things I was afraid of with IVF have come to pass and I feel we've taken back control of our lives and our fertility. Interestingly, my mother commented, about a week after we found out that the IVF hadn't worked, that I seemed much more upbeat than I have done for a while. She knew that we were going to try IVF at some point, but she didn't know we'd actually had a cycle and knew the results, so it's clearly not just in my head.

For what it's worth, I don't think you'll ever regret taking a positive step forward. Wishing you all the luck in the world.