Really getting worn out now with all this trying, wishing and hoping and over-analyzing. Age 38 and certain i'm in perimenopause, moody, tearful, always tired, dryness, and now the dreaded night sweats. Had an FSH of 20 a year ago which pretty much confirmed meno but think i have kind of been in denial and still desperately trying for a baby. Just want to give up and accept that it's game over for me but i desperately crave to hold my baby in my arms again. Meant to be starting Clomid next cycle but don't hold out any hope so i'm thinking why bother. Fed up with waking up each day with that aching feeling of wanting a baby so badly. Just want to be hypnotised or something to get the idea of wanting a baby out of my head forever!! Just a pointless rant really!