TTC for 2.5 yrs, just need a rant

[tintinenamerique]

Purely a self-indulgent whinge.

Came off pill in Dec 2010, 32 months, one miscarriage and one termination for medical reasons later, am still neither pregnant nor a mummy.

I know people have much worse problems than me, and at least I can conceive (though it took 18 months the first time and now on month 8 after tx). Despite trying to stay positive and/or keep busy to try not to focus on it all, I just get so down sometimes when I feel that it's never going to happen.

Any tips for keeping positive?

Sorry, none. It's shit. Hope it happens for you soon.

Thank you. You've reminded me to keep it in perspective. Man up Tintin!

Hi TinTin,

Sorry for your losses. We have been ttc for 2 1/2 years too, but with no sign of a BFP. I find it helps to always know the next stage, so at least now I know the Clomid doesn't seem to be working, I am seeing the consultant next week and they will probably up the dose, then onto ivf next year. So there are still chances. You will probably go through a different process as you can get pregnant. Are they doing investigations to see what the problem is? I also find that having an incredibly stressful job takes my mind off it a lot! (Although I'm sure that doesn't help with the old ovulation....)

H

Hi. Not me but my good friend was in the same boat. Clomid did nothing and so she promised herself 6 months of trying alternative methods and would then have ivf. Weekly acupuncture and also tried meditative yoga specialising in fertility and Chinese medicine and in month 5 she fell pregnant and has just had her 20 week scan. Good luck and try and keep positive even though I know its very hard at times x

Hey 2.5 years for me too with 1 MMC and 1 early miscarriage. Found out last week though that I'm being referred for IVF as they do not see any benefit for me in taking clomid which was a surprise! I agree with Resipsa, its shit!

I think we all know there are people worse off then us, but when its happening to you personally and you're going through that heartache, you don't really care about statistics or people you don't know.

Our time will come though 🍀

Yes. Having a plan is a good idea. Feel I've lost mine a bit. I guess another chat with the GP is coming up, though not sure what they can do (seeing as I have conceived in the past).

Figaro - interested to know more about your route to ivf referral.

Do hope you're right that our time will come - just so difficult to imagine that it will.

It's sounds like we are in a similar position as we have both conceived naturally before, however highlights inconsistencies in the NHS. I read the NICE guides first and clomid should be the next option but surveys show no benefits if you have unexplained infertility.

Pot kettle black, but you have to see that little baby as your light at the end of the tunnel! X

Thanks Figaro. What does the nhs deem to be unexplained fertility if you have conceived in the past?

Not 100% sure but there was 2 years in between me concieving and all my tests came back fine. There's no reason why I shouldn't be concieving more easily.

HI ladies .......AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH....i realy needed to get that out of my system today..... 3years ttc and NOTHING........ had 5 pregnancys when younger and lost them all...all under age of 25 , now i'm 37 and have been trying since 34 and nothing...... this website helps though as at least I know theres other lovely ladies going through similar heartache and you know what...I KNOW WE'D MAKE THE BEST MOTHERS IN THE WORLD..... i know people who have had their children taken off them through neglect (scumbags) and then theres teenagers having babies to get a council house....why is life unfair???? i bet we could all give a child EVERYTHING IT COULD NEED...love and financially.... rant over....sorry if that was offensive to anyone but i'm having pms i think ...AF DUE in a weeks time and def not pregnant AGAIN

Hi ladies,

I'm sure that ranting has great therapeutic value!

We've also been ttc for 2.5 years. Came off pill same month as you tintin and no hint of a pregnancy since then. All tests ok for both myself and DH (although amh at 18 was apparently on low side). No luck with clomid and had 1st ivf cycle cancelled last week because eggs were developing at such different rates that we need to try again with different protocol. Sometimes, life sure is shit!

Trying to enjoy time with my lovely, patient, kind husband for a few months. We've been through a lot and it's all-consuming.

Take care all x

you're right, Dreamy it is. I suppose the best thing is to keep positive, appreciate the things you have got. A good rant always helps too...especially when you can 'talk' top people in the same boat.

I'm 23 and my husband is 25 we have been TTC for 38 months and I feel like giving up often lately but I just can't. I've never been pregnant, we have been to fertility specialists and everything is good with him... the only problem they can find with me is that my hormones aren't where they need to be so I'm not ovulating regularly but my doctor refuses to out me on meds to fix it because I'm too young! Too young really!!!! I know what I want just give me the meds!! Driving me crazy and I don't think it will ever get easier!

I also was on the pill for 6 years before ttc

Hi tintin, so sorry to hear about your losses. I was in your boat ttc dc2 and know how tough it can be. It took us 5 years (am sure it won't take you that long!), 4 rounds of IVF and 3 losses but I'm now almost 19 weeks pregnant and so far it's going okay. I just wanted to tell you that there is always hope. I was always the one hearing about friends pregnancies and having to put on a brave face when my heart was breaking, it's so very difficult. But if we can do then so can you
Lots of luck to you and hope you get your baby soon.

Hi Tintin,

It's not easy but try not to let it take over your life! We've been trying for four years without success, I'm nearly 34 and feel like time is running out. In the same time frame, literally all our friends and family have had babies, sometimes two! However, I try to keep busy and in that time have changed career, learnt to drive, taken up a new hobby, started running (ran a half marathon earlier this year) and have also come up with a plan for our future that means if we don't end up being successful we will still have an amazing life anyway (it involved moving country which I know isn't right for everyone). Of course, every time I hear from friends or family that they are pregnant, it is like being punched in the stomach, but hey ho.

Good luck, try to stay happy xxx

Thanks for replying Popinder. You're totally right, having children is not a certainty, and it's important to make the most of life with or without them. I've really tried not to put my life on hold, and have lots of great stuff and took a new job last year (a promotion in a different company). Despite all this, I know deep down that I will struggle to come to terms with never having children and this is always at the back of my mind (I think it always will be) because that's what I want. Perhaps if it never happens I will be forced to make peace with the situation.

Snap tintinenamerique , I've been trying since December 2010 as well but so far nothing!!! . Apart from lots of cysts! I'm sorry to read about your losses. I posted a poem yesterday on that subject on my blog. I also write about tips on how to stay positive do take a look:

www.mindfulmumatobe.co.uk

if you are London based we having get-together on Monday xxxxxxxx

Stay strong xxxxx