Coping at this time of year...

[DerbyshireLady]

Hi everyone - new poster to this forum. We have had 3 failed ivf cycles, well one worked but I miscarried twins in April. We have booked a holiday over Christmas as I just don't feel I can cope with another year "celebrating".

Trying my best to avoid the build up. Feel like such a misery though! I am sure I am alienating friends/family becuase they don't know what to say anymore.

DH is lovely and we are so looking forward to the holiday.

Just wondered how everyone else copes at this time of year? Seem to remember last year my coping mechanisim was more gin, less tonic!

It's hard isn't it. I'm "only" just going past the one year ttc point and am having mixed feelings about Xmas. My sister in law has three kids and a few of my friends have young babies or are pregnant. My thinking is it's better to be drinking celebrating and being around people than the mundane work thing when it all seems so pointless. However you've been through more than I have so I won't pretend to know how you feel. How old are you and what's your next step? Wishing you so much luck, Cx

Ps my 31st birthday is in Jan and I can't seem to get even the slightest bit excited about celebrating that! x

You poor thing. I'm only at the 15 month mark so haven't been through anywhere near as much as you...but I think your 'more gin, less tonic' adage is the way to go - enjoy the things about Christmas that you wouldn't really be able to do if you had little ones.

For me it's pretty easy as Christmas for us is synonymous with skiing and obviously that's not possible if pregnant or with a baby in tow. So even though it breaks my heart a little bit to see all the kids bundled up in their snow gear looking extraordinarily cute, I forget it when I go whizzing down!

I think going away is definitely the right move - where are you off to? I hope it ends up being a lovely time for the two of you as a couple without those horrible thoughts of what's missing from your family xxx

Thanks guys. Good to know it's not just me. I'll be 37 in April. Waiting for immune test results before we decide on another go at IVF.

Going to a cottage by the sea for xmas. You guys are right that we should focus on child free activities. Pub it is then! X