My heart feels like it?s breaking a bit, I?ve had my bloods done a few times and it doesn?t look like I?m ovulating, my dh had his sperm analysis done and he?s got a low sperm count and lazy swimmers, he?s got two kids (11 & 12) from previous relationship so my doc thinks we may not get much assisted conception on the NHS (we?re in west Scotland) ? really I?m writing this to get things off my chest, not for any help as such as we?re obviously in the early stages and haven?t even been to the fertility clinic yet, just being referred.. I have to have more bloods done fsh levels, rubella and chlamydia check before they?ll accept us..
We haven?t discussed how far we would go in respect of IVF etc but I?ve no idea how much it costs etc and how we would fund it.. I?ve kind of taken all the tests etc. on board up to this point with a very level head and today when I spoke to the doc it?s all sort of sunk in and I?m wondering how to cope with the upcoming future and possibility of never having my own kids, I?m so grateful to have my two step-kids in my life but I?ll never be their mum and they?ll never be my kids.. sorry for the emotional dump but I?m sitting here in work trying to fight back the tears, thanks x