Friend going through IVF

[doblet]

My friend has just started the process. She told me months ago that she would be but hasn't mentioned it since. I don't want to ask her as I recognise it's a private, emotional and stressful time. Could someone explain in simple terms what she will be going through?

Hi. She will probably be starting with down regulation, which in effect is like a quick menopause. The idea is to shut down your hormones so that the doctors can manage them up again. This first bit can take a good few weeks. Then she will be injecting hormones to stimulate her ovaries and probably filling herself with protein and water and obsessing about how many eggs start appearing in her scans which should be every few days. After around 12ish days of this (although can vary widely) she will do a trigger injection to release those eggs. After which she will have a minor operation to remove those eggs and then the terrifying bit: how many eggs you get and then how many fertilize, and then how many survive. Those embryos can go back 2 or 3 days later, or if you are lucky you will have enough good embryos to hang on until day 5, when it's easier to spot the top embryo and success rates are therefore higher. Then the horrific wait to find out if it has worked or not.

I found that I didn't want to talk to people about it, as I didn't want pity. but you sound like a sensitive friend, and I'm sure you'll offer her an opportunity to talk about if she wants to.

I agree with Whiteshoes, when we started our first round I found it helpful to talk to a couple of close friends but then it became a bit much as I felt a lot of pressure to be successful, or found their platitudes grating. Not their fault in the slightest, They just wanted to understand and support but it's hard to really get how someone's feeling unless you've actually been there yourself! We've not told people this time, I'm actually relieved not to have the 'how are you feeling? Pregnant yet? kind of questions!

Fwiw, I think you're great in asking about the process here, I'm sure your friend will open up as and when she feels comfortable. But in the meantime you knowing the steps will mean you can still support her!

You sound like a very good friend!

You sound like a lovely friend! I think whiteshoes describes the process beautifully! I didn't talk a huge amount about the process while going through it other than with a couple of friends who alternately supported and joked with me about it. They were kind of earmarked in advance and talked to/ at, lucky souls! The time I particularly remember being grateful for the support/ general mindless chatter was after egg collection when I was a bit sore and generally in limbo. Local friend came round with magazines and biscuits the day after and stayed for ages just drinking tea and keeping me company and we went out for quite a few walks during the 2WW and distance friend was really good at emailing.

Hope that helps, good luck to her!