Going for first IVF appointment next week. What should I ask?

[CookieRookie]

I'm 34 and have lost both tubes after ectopic pregnancies. I have one dd (12yo). I'm going to a private clinic and have one shot at IVF because a very generous family member gave us the money. I'm overweight and would like to lose some before trying because it seems IVF is not as successful with larger women but I'm worried the clinic will be thinking about the money only and will tell me I should go ahead because the success with age is more of a concern with a drop in success of 30% one you go over 34.

I plan on asking about the weight issue, age issue, 3 or 5 day transfer and a subsequent frozen if we're lucky enough to get a lot of eggs but don't succeed on the first cycle.

I'm worried I'll go and forget to ask something really important so I want to start writing a list now and bring it with me. Any ideas?

And what should I say about my weight if they don't seem concerned?

TIA

bumping for the evening

Hi Cookie I can't actually help as I haven't had ivf myself but didn't want to read an run. Re weight just ask them straight. I've read lots a out healthy diet for fertility (no booze, no caffeine, lots of fruit ad veg, and organic but not much specifically about weight) Someone will be along in a bit who can help more. But best of luck to you

Thanks Pocket

I didn't expect to get an appointment so soon. I was hoping to lose some weight before the appointment and now I'm in a bit of a flap.

Hello,

Hope I can help

Am sure you have done your research and are happy with the clinic you have chosen. The questions you COULD ask are many and varied; fertility friends website is a great place when starting out. Your protocol will be either long, short or flare depending on your blood work and clinic.

I had 3 BFN cycles elsewhere and finally got my BFP courtesy of the ARGC. IMHO the best clinic around (but I would say that!) BTW their success rates in your age group are 60ish% So I would look carefully at the success rates for your clinic that are published on the HFEA website.

From what you have said I would ask the docs whether they thought BMI or age was more important to success rates. Even with everything in your favour Frozen embryos are a bonus rather than an a given.

It definitely feels that something magical happens at aged 34 (as results suddenly decline) but in reality your ovaries dont know you just had a birthday, it's just the way the statistics are sliced and diced.

All the best with your treatment, miracles do happen :)

Thanks firstpost

I'm in Ireland. Have done a lot of research and think I have chosen the best clinic but just something a friend said to me when I was talking about my weight worried me. If you want to have IVF publically here it seems you must be below a certain weight so that's what got me all in a muddle. My friend said to be very careful when choosing a private clinic as they may be less inclined to see the weight as a problem and be more interested in the money. They're not emotionally invested, it's just business to them and of course if the cycle fails they will have another few thousand to bank.

If they are good, you will be given straighforward facts about the effect your weight could have. I suspect you will be able to tell if they are fobbing you off/more interested in your money.

In any event, it is never too late to start trying to lose any excess weight you may have (and you are recommended to have as good a diet as possible when ttc), so I would just start now and see how it goes.

Cheers Tiago

I'm sticking to the healthy stuff hoping even if I don't get a lot of weight off at least I'll be putting good food into my body from now on. I lost the run of myself after the last loss. I think I just gave up. We never thought we'd have the money to go ahead with IVF so I did what I always do in crappy times, I ate.

Yes, it is just business to them BUT they rely on good success rates to attract more patients. A reputable clinic will have alot invested in your success :)

The data says that weight does not have a big impact on IVF outcomes, unless you have pcos where weight is related to the hormone imbalance. But it is linked to increased risk of difficult pregnancy outcomes including gestational diabetes, pPROM and others. So losing weight might help you have a safer pregnancy later.

Does depend on how overweight you are, bmi of 25-30 is not going to make a big difference.

Good luck with the appointment! Suggest you write all the questions down and take lots of notes - or take someone with you who will take notes.

Thanks Thaliablogs

I've thought about it a lot and tried to research it and I think my age will be more of a concern than the weight for actually getting pregnant but like you say it could still cause problems during pregnancy so I'm not going to diet as such but just try to stick to eating healthy and reducing my portions in case we are fortunate enough for it to work.

Thanks everyone for your help

Hi - having been through it a number of times - I was told that a BMI that was below 30 was a good thing ( and it was at a private clinic ) as was limited or no alcohol ( research from Denmark ) acupuncture ( swedish this time ) and at the time that was about it ! Agree with other post - fertility friends can be great and remember its in their interests to get to a bfp as it makes their stats better ! Good luck - pm me if you want any more details.....

Thanks KC and MP

Had my appointment yesterday. All going well we are due to start treatment in September. A bit shocked, didn't think it would be that soon but delighted obviously. Need to lose some weight but they didn't seem too concerned.Off to post another thread first of many to ask some more questions.

I will be going for IVF in September too CookieRookie. Would be good to hear how you are doing with it. Good luck!!!!!

Hwy, I had IVF over Easter. We had it through the NHS after a rather long wait. They were very strict on weight and sent me a table with min and max wight guidelines very early on so I knew where I stood.

As for 3dt or 5, I only got he choice further down the line when we were a that point. We had good strong embryos at 3 days and was given advice about 3dt or going to blastocyst. I opted to go for blast as they would then be transferring a stronger embryo (theoretically).
All I can say really is that I followed EVERY instruction to the letter, no matter how irrelevant it seemed. I timed my injections to the second, using the same watch every day,made sure my weight fell within range, gave up alcohol completely, sas did DH.
For me it was about making sure that if it didn't work, I couldnt sit here and think 'what if I'd just done...'
Thankfully we were one of the lucky ones, and it worked. Believe me, every single day I thank my lucky stars that I'm getting the chance to be a mummy. I can't thank the staff at St Mary's enough. They were lovely, honest and compassionate and really told me all I needed to know and we're always available for advice. When I called with my results on OTD, the nurses were almost as excited as I was which was lovely. Can't wait o take bubs in to meet them and thank them properly! (due at Xmas)
Kat x