Ignorance IVF

[ScoobyDoo2012]

There has been a lot in the papers recently about IVF- concerns over the safety of ICSI, IVF offered to women over 40 etc and every week almost I am reading the people's comments basically saying "if it's not meant to be accept it", or "just adopt", along with "no one should get IVF funded through NHS" etc etc.... I am not actively trying to conceive, but my partner has a sperm count of zero. I am open minded to what the future holds for us but these comments make my blood boil. I actually cried with anger when people say it's "mother nature telling you something" etc etc. I'm sorry but what a load of bullshit. If that's true, why does my partner produce sperm at all (just can't get out)? Uuugh sorry I just really really need to vent to other people who understand. Every one seems to have a negative view of IVF and I even heard someone saying it produces "alien babies". How do you deal with this stigma?!

Hi Scooby

People are vile, aren't they? My DH has low sperm count and we've been through various tests - we've decided not to go through IVF.

It feels horrible going through it when every article is filled by moronic comments. Have a and some and try not to let them get to you. Best of luck to you and your DH xxx

remember that it is not everyone who feels like this - a few random people who comment are not representative of the whole population. Think of the scientists who developed the technique, the doctors and nurses who work in IVF, the mothers and fathers and millions of babies who would not exist without it and remember that instead

Ahh thank you ladies. I just could not actually believe my eyes when I saw pretty much every person on the boards were being so vile, and every comment explaining how heart breaking IF is were amongst the most "disliked".

Even before I knew DP had fertility problems, I felt nothing but sadness and admiration for people going through IVF.

The problem for me is we found out way before we want a baby, we are 22... And although this is positive in a way, because there's no point really doing anything until we want a baby it's like a big black cloud hanging over us, wish we'd found out when we could act on it.

I have stopped reading the boards because I was completely and utterly enraged by the comments. So so hypocritical. It makes me lose all faith in people it really does.

Hi Scooby - I've seen all of this too (having ICSI, DH has ropey sperm too!). I've just stopped looking / reading it as it was making me angry more than sad. Some people are just fuckwits who don't have the first clue about IVF or how infertility feels - I've decided their opinions are worth jack-shit and just can't be arsed to react or even pay them any attention.

TBH I've also stopped reading about IVF in the press full-stop. It's usually sensationalist crap and I'd much rather talk to my consultant about it, as they have a much more informed and balanced view, with no agenda.

With regards to the people arguing that it shouldn't be on the NHS - well, I can kind of see their point, as resources are finite and calls for funding aren't. As someone who is going through this treatment I feel very fortunate to be able to pay for it (as our NHS Trust doesn't pay for ANY fertility treatment), but I see how the system as it stands is unfair in so many ways.

What would be interesting is if these fuckwits who feel they have the insight and authority to comment (usually in such a venomous way) were quizzed on their attitude to other treatments on offer (e.g. liver transplants following a life of drinking, or cancer treatment for heavy smokers). I also find it especially galling that they are probably happily having babies and are likely bringing them up with the same ill-informed bigotous ideas.

Sorry - rant over!

When you decide you're ready to have a family do remember that there are more people out there who will help and support you than those who won't.