Hi

I got pregnant on my 7th full ICSI cycle which was my first cycle after finding out that I did in fact have clotting problems and high NK cells along with some other issues (initially had treatment because of male factor infertility and was told by my first clinic that I had no problems!)

It's hard to say what would be helpful to your friend but I know that for me a friend who I could talk to who was happy to just listen and let me vent would have been a huge help

Hi,

A lady at work is about to have her first baby...this was her 18th attempt at IVF and just about to turn 40. She also had miscarriges as well as eptoic pg. To be honest she has had a proper s*t time of it, so we are all really pleased for her.
I just wanted to tell you her story. The reason I know as we are currently going through the fertility struggle, (not yet moved onto IVF) and days when I feel down I think of her.
HTH , big hugs

We had ivf three times, and in the end went for a donor egg on our last cycle as my eggs just didn't cut it. Our little boy is 7 months old now and it was the best decision we ever made. We had our last cycle in Spain - some of the clinics over there have better success rates and we'd had bad experiences in London.

My very best wishes to your friend. It's such a horrid thing to go through. Xxx

raininglondon you are a good friend, I am sure your friend appreciates all the support you give!

I know she used a few different clinics, and I know she literally begged them to give her one more chance. They were all UK based. I am not sure on how come this one worked. I also know that she was expecting twins and lost one of them in the first 12 weeks. So this one is literally the miracle baby!!
x

Ultimately, they've got to go where they're comfortable and it can be scary going somewhere new where you might be worried about language problems or whatever. We were lucky, coincidentally, we seemed to know quite a few couples who had used this clinic and it gave us the confidence to ditch our one in London. Who knows maybe if we'd had one more cycle there, it would have worked. But we had decided we were only having one more cycle and we needed to try something new. So egg donation in Spain it was : ) I guess all you can do is be there for them and be a listening and sympathetic ear. It's such a lonely and isolating time. You sound like a really good friend and I hope with all my heart that 11 is their lucky number.

I have a friend in her 40s due in 10 weeks after years if IVF and 2 miscarriages... She split with her partner a couple of years ago and has conceived this time using donor sperm. I can't tell you how happy we all are for her, but I won't relax until the baby has arrived safe and well! She also had the killer cells problem and other issues but I think she feels this time round that medical staff are really on top of all the various potential problems so the baby has had the best possible chance

So sorry to hear of your friends struggles. Have you ever heard of couples who try for years and the moment they adopt they find out they're pregnant? There is a great book that I love called The Fertile Female by Julia Indichova that talks about this. Many women have worked with the tools discussed in the book such as imagery to uncover fears and conceive shortly after. Here is a great IVF video.

www.fertileheart.com/ivf-do-it-right-or-do-it-over/

I guess you only give up hope when you're friend does and decides to move on -to plan b, c, d or (and I pray this won't be the case) to accepting the end of the ttc road. I suspect neither gloomy statistics or miracle stories will be what really motivates her next move -more likely a gut feeling, or a compromise with her partner.

She is very lucky to have a friend like you who is there to listen & support.

One of the parents i work with tried to get pregnant for 15 years, i am not sure how many cycles they went through but i believe it was more than 10. In the end they decided to use donated eggs, she froze some and became pregnant with her now 7 year old son. A few years later she tried again with the frozen eggs but was not successful, they decided to give it one last go and used different donated eggs, and now have an almost 1 year old little girl.

I can't stand the stories of 'they stopped and got pregnant' - what does that do for people trying? Say try until your heart can't take any more, but the minute you'll stop you'll get pregnant? How do you just 'stop'?

Anyway, all that aside, is that ten (or 18 from later!) fresh cycles? That sounds liek a lot, I'd guess that includes some cycles using frozen embryos? If so the fresh cycles have a much greater chance of success.

A friend of mine went through this (we had our own struggles too), and eventually gave up as she couldn't take the turmoil any more. She would've tried donor eggs but her husband didn't want to.

For someone in their 40s who has a number of tries under their belt, I would suggest donor eggs/donor eggs at a clinic abroad. They seem to offer good chances to people who have struggled with other treatments on the forums I've read.