2 miscarriages then discover baby has Downs Syndrome, is their any light at the end of the tunnel?

[Goingspare2011]

I read these threads during my first 2 miscarriages but wasnt brave enough to post. I am 36 and got married last year. We started ttc straight away, within 6 months I was pregnant, miscarried within the first 11 weeks, got pregnant again within 6 months and then miscarried again within first 11 weeks. Fell pregnant within a couple of months and this time actually made it to 12 week scan. Took combined test to be told I had a 1:20 chance of baby having Downs. Had amnio and baby diagnosed with Downs. As painful as it is, have decided to terminate pregnancy due to advice on potential quality of life and other factors.

Please please someone out there tell me things will get better. DH has been superb, we are both in a bad place at the moment and clinging on for a snippet of hope.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. There are threads you can join to talk to others who have had mc and also a thread for those who ha e terminated as well. Sorry I can't link I'm on my phone. Just didn't want you to leave your post unanswered.

Thanks so much for replying, I have naturally slept and havinga better day today. I only hope it gets easier along the way

Hi, I'm so sorry. I have been in your shoes and it's heart wrenching and leaves you feeling absolutely shell shocked. As you've had 2 m/cs as well, perhaps you can get referred for genetic testing. I guess they will do karyotyping on this last pregnancy. From this they should be able to tell whether there is a chromosomal problem that may have caused the miscarriages as well as the DS pregnancy, which may give you some answers about trying again. In most cases they will find you that the occurrence of DS on this occasion was nothing more than random bad luck. The miscarriages may well be unrelated and happened for a completely different reason.

I found great solace on the threads in the Antenatal Tests and Choices area of Mumsnet. There is the best place to start www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/1214853-Antenatal-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-terminate-7 you will find others at various stages of their experience with what you are going through. When you are ready, there was an off-shoot of the thread which we started for those ready to start TTC again, or who are pregnant and supporting one another through it all. The second thread is a great inspiration as there are lots of ladies on there who have gone on to have healthy babies over the last 2 years since the thread started. I hope you can find some hope from reading their stories.

There are also some great threads on the miscarriages board. This one is great if you want to find out more about the testing available, both on the NHS and privately to get to the bottom of recurrent miscarriages. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1205067-Recurrent-MC-Testing-and-beyond-Part-5-continues-here?msgid=25140924#25140924

I hope that helps. You will have some days feeling fine, or numb, and some days where it really comes and bites you on the bum where you feel completely lost, but hopefully with the help of these threads you will not be alone at least. Talking to people who have been in your shoes is invaluable as it can be a very isolating experience. Take care. x

Glad you got some rest. It's really important to look aftr yourself