Fucking hell, I need a whinge... DS has done it again.

[LissTheSeasonLouBeJolly]

every year for Christmas and Birthdays he asks for a sibling. every now and then he will mention it in passing, sort of "I wish I had a brother or sister, Im so lonely". anyway, we sat down to write his list (he is 7) and he wrote Ninjago, a laptop, scrabble, wii games and at the bottom "but what I would realy(sic), really like more than the rest is a baby bother (sic) or sister"

Ive been in tears about it. especially since we sat down with him after the last time and explained the some people cant have babies, and some people can only have one or two... and this is why SIF is so fucking hard. I dont "just" have to deal with disappointing dh, or our famillies, or even myself. I have a wonderful little boy who I would give everything for, and I cant give him what he wants most in the world.

ah, that's really sad, I'm really sorry.
That's the thing that makes me the saddest. Fortunately DS hasn't asked yet.
Have you tried telling him how special he is because he's the only one?

I've reiterated how special he is to us and have tried the "but if you had a brother or sister you'll have to share your toys" but apparently he doesn't care. Its so hard.

Liss, I'm sorry I don't have much to add, I am feeling pretty low about the same thing, but do you really feel like you are disappointing DH and your family? why is it your fault? Aren't you being a bit hard on yourself?

I really do. The problem is rmc, if dh found someone else he could have more children. 6 years we've been ttc. 6y and 3m. 13mc's, 1ep. My body is fecked and I'm sick of pretending that I don't really mind.

I really do. The problem is rmc, if dh found someone else he could have more children. 6 years we've been ttc. 6y and 3m. 13mc's, 1ep. My body is fecked and I'm sick of pretending that I don't really mind.

oh bloody hell, 13 mc's? Jesus, I don't know how you've gotten through that.
Have you had any answers?

Don't think like that, your DH loves you, he doesn't want anyone else.

No answers at all. My cons is shit, and despite all the signs pointing to immunology factor won't consider it. Still, back to see him next week.

No answers at all. My cons is shit, and despite all the signs pointing to immunology factor won't consider it. Still, back to see him next week.

oh liss

With my friend recently having a baby it's something which has suddenly become very interesting to DS (6). I've had all the usual questions about the logistics of babies getting in and then out (oh boy have they been fun conversations ). Now DS has moved on from that and started with the 'will you have another baby?' He's promised that he would be very good to it, and love it and when we were tidying and sorting his playroom he said he didn't want to give away toys that are too babyish for him - he's packing them away very carefully to 'share with the new baby'....
I haven't told him there might be a baby, i've really just said 'we'll see' or 'maybe one day'........
I feel for you. He has so few friends who are onlys, and we know many families of 4 or more and he sees them playing together and is starting to really desire that for himself. And I have no power over making that happen.

Can't make it better for you liss can only extend the hand of friendship and empathise with you.

Have you asked to be referred to the miscarriage clinic at St Marys in Paddington? Or the other one in London that deals with the immunology side? I would demand it! You poor thing :(

liss thought I'd reply here. Good to hear you're back to see toadface soon. Have you tried approaching him by saying 'I know there's nothing more you can do so why not refer me to immunology?' Imply it'll do him a favour so he doesn't have to deal with you anymore :) or stage a sit in til he refers you!

thanks, going to ask for a referral across to mr shehata, and just hope he says yes.

It's all just bollocks lissie isn't it? And I say that with great feeling.

On my list of 'things I'd do if I won the lottery' is buy a unicycle and get lissie sorted out with some actual health care. Oh and a pig. I'd deffo buy a pig.

Shall we all come to your next cons appt? Scare the numpty into action?

Showy, thanks. I'm currently gathering evidence for my referral, and have my charts from last 3 mc's handy, all showing temp spike. I would like to give clomid another try though. I just feel useless. Ds had breakfast with us at school today, and all his classmates had their siblings with them. I'm from a large family myself and when it took so long ttc ds we were planning on adopting siblings.

Can you take some holiday snaps with you too? You know, to prove you've tried having a holiday and relaxing, just in case he thinks that's a well researched, medical solution you ignored.

I'd take something big to hit him upside the head with.

In all seriousness, it's just heartbreaking. The whole thing. You're trying to manage your own broken heart as well as your child's. And he's a marvellous child too. You did that. You made him that lovely boy with a lot of love to share. And he should have the best chance to share his Mum with a sibling. I really, really hope your cons will listen to you.

you know, maybe I should. "and mr toad, this is us in Lanzarote. ds is 3 there. we went to try to forget the one year anniversary of the ep, this is our holiday to aberporth, ds is 6. hasnt he grown? I got pregnant there, and.... no baby"

and thank you x

had a better weekend, did some nice things and ds only mentioned a sibling once, yesterday, because he was bored. I'm dreading weds though, I've a feeling it'll be the nurse (we have to go through whole lot again because toady discharged me) but we've seen her before, and when they wouldn't see me last time without dh she was v kind.

had a better weekend, did some nice things and ds only mentioned a sibling once, yesterday, because he was bored. I'm dreading weds though, I've a feeling it'll be the nurse (we have to go through whole lot again because toady discharged me) but we've seen her before, and when they wouldn't see me last time without dh she was v kind.

As for your ds mentioning sibling, it is hard, I have my dd continually asking for a sister, and that is not half as painful as it is for you with your ds' request. It is so hard when, what you want to give your child is so difficult and feels impossible. The desire to give to your child is overwhelming at times, and when it is something that you want too, it is painful. There is nothing that I can say or do to take away your hurt and pain, but know that I do care and am ready to listen anytime you need to vent and let out some of the pain.

I will be thinking powerful positive thoughts for you on Wednesday, you deserve a break and you should be referred to Dr Shantala or someone else who will be able to help you.

I feel like I am interferring a bit, but I think you should write a letter to take with you telling Toady what you want. That way they have to respond, they could ignore a verbal request, but a written request has more power. I work in a hospital and know that written requests always get more reaction...... (and by handing it to them they can't say it was lost in the post!)

thank you, and thanks for the advice. I dont see how they can possibly ignore the evidence. a temp spike/illness leading to mc sends a pretty clear message. especially taking into account the uterine infecting I had postnatally.

I sympathise so much. My DD (4) has asked Santa to make her a big sister beacuse Santa can do anything.......We have had failed FET this year and can not afford to try again...and our chances of concieving naturally are less than 1%. It breaks my heart.

Oh hels

Oh hels