3.5 years of ttc and now thinking of giving up!

[uggmum]

I have 2 dc, aged 12 & 8. Dd was a clomid baby and ds was a fluke (as advised by my Doctor).

Decided to try for dc 3. Tried for a few years with no success. Was then referred and given clomid. Became pregnant on cycle 6. But baby died at 10 weeks and had erpc.

Had a break but back on the clomid. 6 months of treatment left but I am not confident of a success.

Consultant pushing for ivf but it is costly and I dont know if I have the strength for it emotionally as only 1/10 chance of a successful outcome. The odds seem so poor.

Feel that I need to consider giving up. Consultant says I may just be too old now (I'm 40).

It's been a long haul and I've put my life on hold for so long. Anyone else with the same dilemma?

It is hard to stop when you have been on the rollercoater for so long. I am 43 and the doctors still keep telling me I am too old, I have concieved 10 times in the last 3.5 years, and they still tell me my egg reserve is low!!!! I have spent the last few months believing that it is too late, and giving up, but now I am starting to wonder if I have enough strength to fight again. So I am not really a good person to talk to about giving up, as I find it so hard. It is easier for me to carry on trying than to let go of that one last attempt!

I think if you are going to give up on ttc, then it is important to have something else to fill in the gap that trying has taken. Something new to occupy your time and your head!

Hope that you work out your dilemma soon.

The famous tertia once said, you know when it's time to give up because the pain of going on is now worse than the pain of giving up. that point is different for everyone. IVF has a lot better chance than clomid (which for many ppl is worse than useless as it's an oestrogen inhibitor). Are you sure odds are 1/10? For your clinic or your particular diagnostic pattern?

My consultant is pretty sure with the odds. But he is the merchant of doom. I feel I need to look at odds at different clinics, based on my age etc.