Oliver James.in the Daily Fail on his and Justine's MNHQ womens hour interview

[JackBauerDeservedAHappyEnding]

here says he was given a hard time by Jenni Murray.

Some choice exytacts

'Murray's and Roberts's conviction that I am hostile to mothers working was odd. I have neither said nor written anything of the sort.'

'Sadly, there is now overwhelming evidence that daycare is bad for the mental health of at least one-third of under-threes (the evidence is in the appendix of my book).'

According to the article he interviews 50 mothers for his book! Gosh, That's some impressive research base, isn't it?

I am seemingly unable to evaluate the strength of his argument because it is completely overshadowed by his utter cruntery, I guess this is my own cross to bear lol

however rofl that he has cared for his own children fir 'weeks at a time'

whaddafuckin hero

Surely not more desperate plugging of his book? Can't escape him at the moment, obviously needs to make sure it's a big seller or his wife might have to get a job - hideous!

at

'Weeks at a time, exclusively,'

try years at a time!

What seems incredible to me is that people expect to write these books and make money out of their own opinions, and the get all hurt when someone questions them.

He describes the interview as him being mugged

Riiiiiight, so even under his dodgy small research group two thirds are fine?

Tosser.

Who is this guy exactly? And working from home does not mean looking after children.
In my experience, it might mean the odd half hour keeping an eye on the kids while his wife pops to the shops/has a shower etc but not- planning menus, dressing, bathing, feeding.

Unless he's a SAHD I'd wager his wife does all of that.

Weeks at a time, exclusively? So his wife was away for weeks on end then?`

I heard the repeat of the programme he refers to and he came across as an arrogant, twattish prat who was not prepared to listen or debate, simply to promote his own agenda. And as I turned it on halfway through, I didn't even realise it was him and Justine til the end of the interview!

What a silly little man, whining to the DM that the nasty women were horrid to him... and as for the vileness of the remainder of the article... well, any women who disagree with him must obviously be type A bitches who can't empathise with or love their children, mustn't they?

Stupid twunt.

I'd love someone to interview his wife!

I love that he went to the DM to complainabout the mean nasty women. They must have been over the moon!
I loved 'weeks at a time' and that as a wahd he did more mothering than jenni. Um, it's not a contest!
how he can't see that saying childcare 'damages' under 3's is not anti working mums is hysterical though.

He says this:

"Tragically, it is precisely the kind of mother (and politician) who is unresponsive in relating to under threes who is most likely to leave her child in daycare."

But that's good isn't it, rather than "tragic"? He lists a number of reasons why some people are not so good at relating to their own small children but then apparently thinks it is bad for those esmall children to spend time instead with other people who have deliberately chosen to work with small children (and thus presumably might be better at relating to small children).

Just noticed that he's titled his book 'How not to F* them up'.

Serious research then.

He can dish it out but he can't take it back.

Still, it makes a change from him blaming his mother for everything.

What a prat. And FWIW I am a SAHM so should, in theory, agree with him. Well, I don't.

Twat. He was the one saying that anti depressants don't work for PND and stuff about breastfeeding too. I'd love to see a bad science article about him.

What was he saying about breastfeeding?

Yes, what was e saying about BF?

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/26/oliver-james-postnatal-depression

That its iresponsible for breast feeding mothers to take ADs for PND, despite there being loads of research that some ADs are OK. Very dangerous article, if I'd read it a month earlier I would have not have seeked ADs for my PND and probably would have killed myself.

Twat.

Just for you tootired:

Does Oliver James damage the brain?

It seems he is saying that if you want to be a good mother, you shouldn't aspire for an education, as it will only lead to you finding your children 'uncongenial'.

eleanor

What are his qualifications for him to be deemed the 'expert' on all thsi anyway?

he has to be the only grauniad writer I have to ready myself to read as I now soemthing in his article will piss me off.

I believe the title of his book is a play on a quote from Philip Larkin about how parents f*ck you up. There you go.

It is interesting that people can be allowed to be happy in what they do. That they constantly have to be picked at by neurotic others. I loved my time as a SAHM, I'd do it all again in a heart-beat. When I worked as a nanny I was employed by parents who loved their children enough to hire a trustworthy professional, I have to say I am a bit dubious about the level of care in daycare centres for under 2s but that is my opinion. We should all be able to have an opinion without people being snippy about it.

If you don't like his book don't read it. If you don't like him avoid him. Easy peasy.

and from a professional POV I want to know why he has completely ignored the work of childminders and the care of under threes

I think his view is that childminders are fine because they can give one-to-one care - as long as they are not cold, heartless people just doing it for the dosh, obviously. As I understand it, govt regs stop childminders having too many under-threes at a time, so they aren't left alone to fend for themselves as in some nurseries.

He certainly doesn't argue against all childcare, just that it needs to be more or less one on one for most of the time, whether by mother, father, grandparents, other rellies, childminder or whatever. Just not baby factories where the motivation is profit. Most childminders don't do it for the money (alone) but because they love kids, so there is no problem there.

As some whose child was in a "daycare centre" (ie cripplingly expensive Montessori nursery) under two (and she's still there), I think the comments about daycare centres are a little "off". Most of us choose very, very carefully where we leave our children. I wanted my DD to have an opportunity to meet other children of different ages in a healthy and educational environment.

She loves her nursery and their care was one carer to two under twos. Not that different from a childminder, surely? Since she's been going, only two carers have left the nursery and both of those left due to ill health. One is even coming back part time.

I think it's wrong to assume that people working in nurseries are any less committed or child-centric than childminders.