Cant do right for doing wrong?

[shoshe]

lioness mother or Control freak mother?

Hmm...

I would be tempted to say control freak.

ExP had a girlfriend for a while and few times I saw her with my DS she was patting his head, cuddling him and saying all the endearing little things. It did annoy me, as she was doing what the parent usually does and doing it in front of me.I didn't make an issue out of it, though, as I figured it wasn't going to hurt DS.

I think it's hard thing to get the balance right for many stepmothers. I definitely would like ExP's any future partner to be a friend to DS and wouldn't mind if she took care of him but perhaps not change the stuff I decided were right for him ie sunscreen etc.

Not very well written article, though. Lioness mother, such a cliche.

Thought the 'how DARE she put sunhats on my children' comment was a bit much...quite a lot of it was a bit much IMO. I think she's confusing the issue, the rage/pain she feels is probably to do with the OW having the family she lost.

I would expect all step mothers to behave like the Disney ones

Control freak.

God knows how my 2nieces and my nephew would have turned out if my SIL hadn't picked up the pieces.

FFS, stepmums getting a bashing again

I really object to this article, apart from anything else they are discussing SMs then talking about a fathers gf who had only known a child for 3 weeks WTF?

Could you imagine if the children had returned sunburnt?

She should be thankful that the step mum can be bothered to take care of them!

Maybe we could focus on the fathers that leave their new girlfriends/wives to look after their children? The writers focus on the new girlfriend comforting her daughter is rather sickening. What of her ex? The one fucking off and leaving his daughter, who he doesn't see a lot and should want to be with, with his new girlfriend.

Why is the woman always at fault?

Yes, maybe stepmothers wouldn´t have to do so much if the fathers bothered!

To be fair I would find it highly upsetting watching another woman mothering my children. Childish maybe but that is how I would feel. If DH was the one to leave the relationship then it would make it all the more difficult (if I still had feelings for him I mean).

It is unfair to have a go at SMs but I would hope if I were a step mum I would have respect for the mothers feelings and how hard it must be for her.

Still people have to move on and I would think after the first difficult period of watching your ex and your children with another woman you would find a way to move past it. After all it must be just as hard for a man in the same position.

but this is what happensm when people split up and move on. They meet new people. Do we expect the step mothers/new girlfriends to ignore the children? When children have been through the break up of a parent, they need all the affection that they can get.

Children know who their parents are. Mothers can worry that someone is trying to replace them, but children don't think like this.

I think it's also the airbrushing the mother out of the equation as well that is problematic. My Dad tried this with his new wife and tried to marginalise my mum and reinvent events that had happened with Mum as happening with the new woman. Unfortunately for my Dad, I was 27 when he tried this and my parents had divorced when I was 24, so I wasn't falling for that one.

The child spent time with her father and returned with a new sunhat, the mother was livid. Meaning that the father has no rights to decide about his own child or whether she gets a new sunhat (regardless of who buys it for her).

What if it had been one of the mother's friends who bought the hat and gave it to her when she was with her mother- would this give the father equal rights to be livid? Or are fathers always some kind of second class parents who can't really be allowed to decide anything?

If steps are trying too hard to be nice, who can blame them? I'd go for 'extremely insecure' rather than control freak or whatever lioness mother means. If you're insecure in your own role you're always going to be terrified that other people are trying to fill your shoes or undermine you. Mind you, anyone who's used a particularly nice childminder will have had that awkward moment when child looks at you fondly and says how the food/games/sofa is so much better at the childminder's house C'est la vie....

Sorry but that article just makes the mothers sound like absolute fucking nutters. The sun-cream comment was the completely wrong opening anecdote for the article because after that there could have been a nuanced dissection of the intricate relationships of families involving new-partners etc. and all you'd still be thinking is "it's sun cream you fucking nutter"

cory, I would have to say that in our case that appears to be true. Despite the fact that we have equal residency, DSDs Mum always has to have control over every tiny detail. I wouldn't mind if it didn't adversely affect DSD

So stepmums you now know what to do if your step children get scared in the night and need reassurance. You turn over and ignore them because that's what the mothers want apparently. She sounds demented. The only thing that I would be annoyed about would be the lice thing. Everything else sounds like girlfriends/new wives trying to do their best while the fathers neglect their duties.