'Mother breastfeeds 5yo son' Is this really news?

[Disenchanted3]

BBC article here

Really amazes me the stuff that is classed as news these days

I think it is the needs of the mother-(runs for tin hat)there is no way I would feed a five year old, they can get comfort with loads of cuddles and a story reading session. At 5 yrs they can help me cook the dinner and they are certainly old enough to understand that I am not there to supply milk whenever they feel like it. I am always available for cuddles but they can have a glass of milk or water with the cuddle and time, attention and a chat.

Gosh, I just weaned my 17 month old last week and that was totally about me. I was sick of the pinching, the twiddling, the using her feet to push against my stomach and get more 'pull' at the breast, the fact that she would spend 45 minutes switching from side to side when I was trying to snooze...luckily it wasn't a particularly traumatic experience to wean her (we'd cut down very gradually anyway) but it definitely wasn't her first preference. Carrying on would have been putting her needs (or at least wants) in front of my own, frankly.

I assume that's what you mean as well, piscesmoon?

I fed ds till 4 and ds till 3. I agree with hunkermunker. I have never heard of or come across anyone who has fed for a long time think it's about the mother. Really, it isnt.
I never enjoyed breastfeeding particularly and it was my choice to stop feeding despite angst from both dc.
One of the reasons I wont have anymore is because I never ever want to breastfeed again.

It is sad that those who have done it and therefore actually have the experience are known as the nutjobs whilst those who have never breastfed for this long apparently are the experts on it.

I do mean that tortoiseonthehalfshell-mothers have rights too! My body is at the disposal of a baby who needs it, and I enjoyed it and all were exclusively bf, but it isn't at the disposal of a 5 yr old because he feels a bit bored or upset or has made it a habit.
It isn't a question of being an expert rainbowinthe sky-it is just having my body to myself again.
I think it tells more about the needs of the mother because it makes sure that the child can't have a completely independent relationship with someone else. The 5 yr old can't go and stay with grandparents without mother for 2 or 3 nights-a wonderful experience for both sides because it makes sure that the DC misses mother. The father is the secondary parent because the mother can't go away for a week and leave them on their own-another lovely experience for both. It ensures that mother is needed and has to be there-fine for a baby but not a 5 yr old.
A five year old doesn't need it for nutritional purposes-if the mother wanted to they could wean and cut down-the mother doesn't want to.

piscesmoon, what on earth makes you still think "it's about the needs of the mother" when there is so much evidence to the contrary just on this thread. Have you not read anyone else's posts?

Your assumption that mothers can't go away if their children are still breastfeeding is also completely wrong. When dd was still feeding I was very often working in the evenings, and occasionally had to go away for 3 or 4 nights at a time. If I wasn't there she had a beaker or bottle of milk at bedtime. But if I was there she wanted to feed. And five months after stopping, she still wants to feed at bedtime. Stopping breastfeeding was very definitely about my needs, not hers.

I would be extremely judgemental if I saw a 5 yr old still drinking from a bottle or sucking a dummy- I don't therefore follow that they need breast milk.Or am I supposed to think it OK for a child to have a bottle?
There was a thread a short time ago about a poor woman who was co sleeping and she was at the end of her tether with no sleep-she was allowing the child (it wasn't a baby)to pinch, kick, feed and prod her all night. I see nothing wrong with the co sleeping but she needs boundries and the child needs to be told that she must sleep and let mummy sleep.
Five year olds don't need breast milk-they can have a normal balanced diet. As a child I was very young for my age and very much a mummy's girl and yet I would have been deeply embarrasssed if friends had thought I was still having milk, either from a bottle or breast. I had 2 younger brothers by then and I didn't feel a baby or want to be treated like one-or was my mother suppposed to feed all 3 of us? (I pity her if she was-feeding a baby on demand is enough, without having to cater for 2 children who could have a cup-she would have no time to call her own!).

pisces, can I ask what 'need' you think I'm fulfilling by occasionally acceding to my son's requests? He's a very independent, sociable little boy who regularly spends up to a week at a time away from me.

I should never ever comment on bf-I keep off the threads -only commented because it was on Talk-In the News-I must sit on my hands next time until the urge passes!!
You can all do what you like but I judgemental about any mother who has a 5yr old who needs boob, bottle or dummy. You can be judgemental about me-we are all different.

Don't worry, I'm not going to flush your head down the toilet

I think all five year olds 'need' certain things for comfort. I'm always a bit surprised by my son's contemporaries who have comfort blankets, or favourite soft toys. I just don't think it matters, really.

See, this is where people who don't have experience of it are making wrong assumptions.

If you only have experience of bfing a small baby, or, say, up to about a year old, you'll think of it as something babies do and do regularly.

But when you have an older child who still bfs, you can start to set boundaries. So, you might say, "Only at nap/sleep time" or "Only on the sofa at home" or "Only first thing in the morning/before bedtime" and, as your child gets older, they begin to understand when they can bf and when they can't, etc.

As for precluding other people from involvement with your child - no, it really doesn't. Plenty of women breastfeed older children and work/go away/go out, leave their children with other people, etc. Lots more don't, of course - but it's perfectly possible. Children who are breastfed soon learn that mum has the milk and other people have different ways of comforting them/getting them to sleep, etc.

And, in fact, if you bf an older child, it becomes part of the range of things you do to comfort/soothe your child. It is a very handy thing to be able to put your baby up your top when they are too tired to settle, etc - and it is also very handy to be able to snuggle down next to your older child and bf them back to sleep - but it's not the only thing you can do, by a long way. Children who are bf still have cuddles, suck their thumbs, still have favourite toys/comforters, after all.

So really, it all boils down to do what you like, but if you choose to let everyone else know, be prepared to have some feel that you are treating a 5 year old inappropriately.
So if it bothers you, keep it private. Or choose to be outside the norm. Just don't quote dodgy statistics about the third world when you are explaining.

Kwashiorkor: The word kwashiorkor comes from the Ivory Coast. It means the deposed (no longer suckled) child. Kwashiorkor is a childhood disease due to protein deprivation, usually seen in 2 year olds and above in very impoverished areas. So in some instances, suckling an older child is a matter of survival rather than custom.

I agree with Goblinchild. If you want to do it and don't want people to comment, just keep it something private but if you do see the need to tell others then be prepared for the fact that some of the people you tell will not think that it is an appropriate way to treat a an older child.
If it wasn't unusual it wouldn't be thought newsworthy.
A 5 yr old in the third world would already be treated in an age appropriate way-they wouldn't be a baby, they would already be doing things to help the community.

Yes, but by the same token, if you're going to comment on other people's choices, you can expect them to get a bit pissed off and to ask you to justify what you're saying.

I think that we should all agree to differ. Those who do it are not going to change their minds and nothing is going to convince me that it is in a child's best interests to treat them like a baby when they have passed the appropriate stage.
I must remind myself not to comment unless someone has a definite problem that I can help with.

Just because bfing is something babies do, it doesn't mean that if a child continues to bf beyond a year (say) that they are being babied. I don't see it as a babyish thing to do.

I don't tend to tell people I bf till 4 - except occasionally, perhaps when I want to surprise someone or challenge their prejudices. Why? Because I "don't look like someone who would bf for that long" apparently

DS2 finds it inconceivable that most kids stop bfing so early (I've had discussions with him about it, in the course of my long and fruitless attempts to get him to quit). 'Most people stop when they are still babies.' 'Why??'

He is lucky he doesn't have me then! I would tell him that mummy wants her body back and he can have a cup like the rest of the family! I doubt whether my DSs will hold it against me-not something that remotely bothers them when older. If I was to discuss it they would think me mad!

My husband showed me this and asked the same question. It is not something I would do but its hardly newsworthy either.

'Yes, but by the same token, if you're going to comment on other people's choices, you can expect them to get a bit pissed off and to ask you to justify what you're saying.'

And when they justify it by saying that in their opinion it's inappropriate and unnecessary to breastfeed a 5 year old, that isn't considered a good enough reason?
I think we may just have to politely agree to differ on certain subjects.

I've seen and treated many children with tooth decay as a result of breast feeding on demand past the age of 2, so it's not completely harmless. However, I've treated many more with decay from drinking too many fruit shoots etc.

goblin - well it's called a debate, isn't it? You think it's inappropriate and unnecessary, others don't. So we kick it around a bit. That's all.

HelenRosie - this has come up on bfing threads before. The last thing I heard, the decay was related to children not having their teeth properly cleaned before eg nighttime feeds - so that food remnants were still clinging to the teeth. (Just pointing this out for anyone reading this who's still bfing at night.)

pices, do you accept the going away thing?
My 3yo loves his breastfeeds, feeds every night in the usual routine, but if that routine's disturbed, he's fine. I'm going away this weekend and he's having a weekend with Daddy, other than missing him lots I have no reservations.