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Original poster

Man finds out child is not his.wants to sue.

49 replies

mayorquimby · 26/04/2010 10:39

Just saw this link, anyone know of it's veracity or any more details than is provided?
Should he be entitled to sue for damages or get his share of the house back? women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article7107079.ece

OP posts:

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 11:22

I really doubt the Mother didn't know! She slept with 2 people, the baby is born not looking like her husband at all... she never had any doubts? As if.

He has been tricked into raising a child that is not his. The least he should get is half his house back! He clearly does care about the child, but at the end of the day she is not his child and he did not make the choice to raise another mans child, he was never told there was a chance of her not being his!

YesYouMust · 26/04/2010 11:38

Strictly - he says in te article he had doubts, if it were that important to him he'd have done something about it at the time.

Reality · 26/04/2010 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

YesYouMust · 26/04/2010 11:43

Reality - I agree it does all sound very strange.

TheEarthIsFlat · 26/04/2010 12:07

Getting his daughter to give a swab by lying seems a bit low to me. Can understand why he might not want the ex-wife to benefit, but think there's more to this than he's admitting. Wonder if he's changing his mind because he's a bit strapped for cash? He says his friend's dying wish was that a paternity test was done, odd!! My dying wish would be far more sensible - like free chocolate or world peace (in that order naturally).

porcamiseria · 26/04/2010 14:08

poor daughter, really she must feel like complete sxxt

cant comment on the man, as thinkthere is more to it than this

Original poster

mayorquimby · 26/04/2010 15:02

"Getting his daughter to give a swab by lying seems a bit low to me."

Surely it's the smarter way to do it rather than get her questioning her paternity before he knows for sure.

OP posts:

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 15:12

Surely it's worse to tell your child that someone is their Father when they are not

The Mother should have had a test done when the baby was born.

Magaly · 26/04/2010 15:17

Wow, his x mislead him and that's wrong, but because she mislead him, the child is his.

I understand his anger but he still has the father/daughter relationship if he doesn't fuck it up to make a point. I understand the point, but he's losing everything now.

Counselling would be well-deserved and would help him figure out how to come out of this without losing his daughter, because she is his daughter imo.

It's sad.

slug · 26/04/2010 15:20

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't any child born within a marriage legally deemed to be a child of that marriage? I think he's on shaky legal grounds.

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 15:26

Yes, unless a DNA test proves otherwise. This name would have automatically gone on the BC unless the OM had produced evidence that the child was his.

Kathyjelly · 26/04/2010 15:28

As far as I can tell the man is doing everything to provide for his daughter, ie school fees, university, providing for her until she chooses to leave home.

This sounds more like he agreed to relinquish his share of the house to his ex-wife because she was the mother of his daughter. Now he finds that is not true, he feels misled.

I sort of share his view I think. If I was the ex-wife, I think I'd admit that I'd known there was always a chance he wasn't the father although I hadn't owned up. I'd try to meet him half way just for my own self respect. But that's just me.

Original poster

mayorquimby · 26/04/2010 15:39

"As far as I can tell the man is doing everything to provide for his daughter, ie school fees, university, providing for her until she chooses to leave home.

This sounds more like he agreed to relinquish his share of the house to his ex-wife because she was the mother of his daughter. Now he finds that is not true, he feels misled."

Not enough. He feels hard done by for being tricked into raising a child that wasn't his own. This means he must automatically agree with all others and their logic that he must still accept her outright as his daughter and any sort of response which does not fall in line with this means he is a heartless bastard who is only concerned with money.

OP posts:

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 17:37

Some people may be able to feel exactly the same about a child that is not theirs, but I bet they are people who knew from the start.

I as a women would not be thrilled if somehow I had been tricked into raising someone elses child. Yes I'm sure I would still love them, but it would never be the same again and I very much doubt I would give my house to the Ex who had tricked me!

LadyBiscuit · 26/04/2010 18:22

It's hardly 'tricked' is it? Maybe the mum really wanted the DD to be his? Maybe she saw her as being an attempt to put her marriage back together?

I really don't care what his reasons are, I think it's a totally fucked up thing to do to a child you have raised as your own. Poor, poor girl

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 18:28

Of course it's tricked, she slept with someone else and then told her husband he was the Father when she could not possibly have known that for sure!

LadyBiscuit · 26/04/2010 18:32

If I became pregnant and there was no way of knowing if the baby was my husband's or another man's (I don't think DNA tests were available 17 years ago) then I doubt I'd tell my husband I had doubts about his paternity. Would you? Really??

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 18:38

Yes 100%! I couldn't live with the guilt! It's totally immoral to do something like that. I would have to own up. Imagine if she was doing genetics in biology one day and came home wondering why both her 'parents' were B+ and she was O+... I would never risk my child finding out something as important as her parentage like that

LadyBiscuit · 26/04/2010 18:52

I'm not sure what I'd do tbh although I can totally see why you would hope that the child turned out to be your husband's. Aren't something like 30% of children not actually their bio father's progeny?

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 18:58

I've heard 1 in 10 and 1 in 25. I don't understand how people can do it, I really don't.

If you can cheat on your husband you should really at least have the guts to be honest with him when a baby is involved!

RunawayWife · 26/04/2010 19:14

I hope he wins, poor man

CagedBird · 27/04/2010 13:58

Ladybiscuit, I can see your point, but i would tell 100%. For the simple reason, your child deserves to know the truth, and so does your husband. If he agrees to raise her as his own then great. But he deserves the right to walk away and more importantly, the om deserves to know he has a child.

Also I believe the longer you leave it to tell, the worse the consequences are.

This sounds dire, I wonder if he has spoken to the daughter about any of this and how she feels. Maybe he told her what he was going to do before hand. And that it was completely to do with her mother rather than his love for her.

It's very possible, he gave her the house as he trusted her to raise their daughter and now he feels he can't.

cory · 30/04/2010 20:13

I still don't get how he can feel so enormously cheated by her having slept with another man. He admits that he was unfaithful himself. Oh, no, read that wrong...he's a Man...what he did was "the occasional fling".

If I was sleeping with other people, I think I would at least entertain the possibility that my wife might be doing the same.

Original poster

mayorquimby · 01/05/2010 13:28

I'd imagine it's the being lied to and tricked into raising someone elses child as his own aspect that has him feeling cheated rather than his ex sleeping with someone else 20 years ago.

OP posts:

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