Poet laureate goes nuts

[ScummyMummy]

Better stand back
It's a rage attack
Gonna throw that Mr Motion
Right into the ocean

(for penning this pants. )

Better stand back
Here's a pile of cr*p,
But the poet in charge
Is givin' it large (sorry)

It's an insult, to us lot,
on the landscape, a large blot
It should be wiped off the page,
Not payin' him a wage

It's a day to wonder why,
We pay for those on high
It's a taking of the pi$$,
To use our taxes like this

Truly truly bad scummy .... both a and b sides .... pile of poop IMHO ...
and I am no poet and I know it
What is the world coming to ... the 8 year olds I used to teach could do so much better ...

In fact so could scummy and www!

gordon bennet, I found that really EMBARRASSING to read!

Hear hear, Ghosty - Scummy and WWW could teach him a thing or two!

It's kind of like one of those installations in galleries and one exclaims 'I could have done that' but because they're famous they did it and they get oohed over. Or am I a Philistine?

Oh FFS.

Cringe...

worse than dp trying to show off his knowledge of 'popular music' to my 17 year old brother at the weekend.

Oh I saw this yesterday and cringed - it's like an embarrasing dad trying to be cool. rubbish

oh dear, do we really pay him? I thought it was just an honorary title. hope no taxpayers hard cash gets sent his way for this one...

I think he just gets pocket money.

to keep him in sweeties and beyblades?! lucky man

I couldn't read all of it in the paper on Sunday, just made me cringe so badly. He really is awful isn't he?

I heard it on the radio and thought it was a joke. Then I reaslised it wasn't and got hot sweats of embarrassment for the man. What utter balls.

Love the story of the comedy terrorist though. It gets better and better and you really couldn't make stuff like that up!

Classic.

Well I like it, so there! At least he is trying something different and the A and B side is interesting. Go on, sling some arrows at me! :0

I had to cringe too, and, believe it or not I DO have a sense of humor BUT:

My sad life revolves around poetryI read it, write it, write about it, edit it, and teach it (tho not at moment) and get paid more or less nothing for all of the above because nobody buys it reads itso what I find most shocking is that anyone notices or cares what Andrew Motion writes. It's unusual for poetry to be noticed at all--and it actually makes me very happy to see the slagging off.

Yeah, the poems are crap, but I feel knots in my stomach just thinking about the pressure of having to write a (good) poem on command. And, let's face it, his rap poem isn't that much worse than a lot of rap out there. I love a lot of rap, and listen in amazement at what it can do, but most of it has crappy lyrics and is carried by the rhythms of the music or sounds which accompanies it.

As for the money A.M. gets, the writing is just a small bit of it. He has to schlep all around the U.K. to read the same old stuff and hand out poetry awards at every last arts festival, and convince uninterested school heads to put poetry in the curriculum. He probably rues the day he ever got this job, and just wants to curl into a hole and write the biographies that he's best at.

Scummy and www: your lyrics are fantastic; you'd get high marks in my classes. I got a good laugh at all the comments, by the way. Gengis: I agree the Sids A & B thing was clever.

expatkat, why thank you Andrew Motion wrote some funny parodies in collaboration with Wendy Cope a long time ago didn't he? Haven't read any of his biogs though. I agree, you do have to feel a bit sorry for the man given the general lack of interest in poetry.

it's not only Andrew Motion who may be going nuts. I'm going nuts trying to click on the link. I want to read this poem thing but my computer won't let me. I can click on 'talk' ok. I can't click on the latest mumsnet competition details either. Why can't I get access to some sites? help!

Firewall?

what's firewall?

Sorry - do you have a firewall? I suspect not if you don't know what it is It's a protective piece of software that sits between your PC and the internet, stopping nasty people from accessing your computer. It also stops some websites loading depending on your security settings. It's recommended if you have an "always on" broadband connection.

What happens when you try to get into the sites you mention?

Here's the poem for you anyway, Tigermoth. Read it and snigger/cringe.

Better stand back
Here's an age attack,
But the second in line
Is dealing with it fine.

It's a threshold, a gateway,
A landmark birthday;
It's a turning of the page,
A coming of age.

It's a day to celebrate,
A destiny, a fate;
It's a taking to the wing,
A future thing.

Better stand back
Here's an age attack,
But the second in line
Is dealing with it fine.

It's a sign of what's to come,
A start, and then some;
It's a difference growing,
A younger sort of knowing.

It's a childhood gone,
A step towards the crown;
It's a trigger of change,
A stretching of the range.

Better stand back
Here's an age attack,
But the second in line
Is dealing with it fine.