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Mumsnet in the news, calling on NHS for new code of practice on Miscarriages

18 replies

wintera · 02/03/2010 13:04

Interesting piece in the news today about Mumsnet calling on the NHS for new code of Practice on Miscarriages

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/mar/02/code-practice-women-who-miscarry

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 02/03/2010 16:10

Lucy did a good article there

wintera · 02/03/2010 16:10

Bumping this story

OP posts:
wintera · 02/03/2010 16:10

Sorry we posted at the same time!

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 02/03/2010 16:15

Very good article but I find the advert for MN Babies book underneath it totally inappropriate.

queenoftheslatterns · 02/03/2010 16:30

I agree with CMOT, a really good article.

stillfrazzled · 03/03/2010 11:46

An excellent piece. And the campaign is sorely needed - I'm going through this ATM, for the second time in 3 months, and in the last two weeks have had:

  • Longer waits because EPU closed at weekends
  • Waiting for a scan in a room full of hugely pg women *Reminders for a 12 week scan when I lost the baby at just under five weeks *Being told by the EPU nurse that the first pg 'didn't count' and wasn't actually a pg because ended too early. She actually claimed that you can get a false positive on a pg test

It just makes me feel more alone and helpless.

All of that could be avoided if MN recommendations were followed.

wintera · 03/03/2010 12:50

I've had 2 miscarriages in recent months. One last September and another one 3-4 weeks ago. My experiences were both similar and different. With the first miscarriage I thought I was about 8 or 9 weeks gone. Started spotting, blood was brown in colour at first, not a deep red. After 2 days of this I took myself off to the EPU at my local hospital. Although I was concerned I thought they would tell me there that all was ok after all. Nothing could have prepared me for the shock of being told that the baby on the screen had died at 7 and a half weeks. I was given the 3 options mentioned in the article, natural, tablet or d and c. I opted for natural. I was told I would experience something like a heavy period. The next day I had awful pains and the miscarriage reached what I call a crisis point. Terrible pain, with lots of blood etc. Much worse than I had thought it would be to be honest. I actually saw the pregnancy sack when I passed it. Very distressing indeed. I had a follow up scan a few days later and was told everything had come away. Could not fault the staff at the EPU. Very supportive, very concerned and I was dealt with quickly. However, I did keep receiving letters from who would have been my midwife, and letters from the hosp with scan dates etc and was very annoyed and distressed by this.

The one a few weeks ago was different. Hadn't been spotting, went for a scan thinking I was 8 weeks and was told baby was 5 and a half weeks. As they can't detect a heartbeat that early on they said I probably had my dates wrong and to come back 2 weeks later. Started spotting the next day and had a miscarriage the day after which was a Saturday night. Much worse pain than the first. Throbbing pain and heavy bleeding and again saw the sack when it was passed. Went to the EPU which was very busy on the Monday to have it confirmed that baby had now gone. This time things weren't as straight forward and I had to go back and forth to the hosp for scans. Although the EPU staff were still great, I was quite often sat with visibly pregnant women. One came out announcing to everyone that she was now 12 and a half weeks, and another came out wildly exclaiming that she was having twins! I was very distressed by this but the staff seemed to register this and moved me into the scan room quickly. Had to go in for a d and c a few days later too, although I was on a ward with women like myself, we were also right above the maternity unit so could see and hear lots of pregnant women and babies.

I would say that the care I received from the staff at my hosp was wonderful. But they really do need to do something about where they put women who have had miscarriages, and the paperwork that follows it so you don't keep getting mail regarding the pregnancy. It's very upsetting!

OP posts:
HelenMumsnet · 03/03/2010 12:56

Hello. MmeLindt, we agree - it was very unfortunate, wasn't it? We're not quite sure how it came about, tbh, but we are sorry and completely understand how wrong and inappropriate it looked.

flabbergasted · 03/03/2010 16:38

It all sounds so familiar - from the having to share waiting space with happily expectant parents, right down to the nurse telling me off for crying. If it's so common, why are the medical services so rubbish at dealing with it?

MmeLindt · 03/03/2010 17:37

Thanks for the response, Helen.

Good to see that the campaign is getting lots of press

greenirene · 03/03/2010 22:13

I'm sorry for what you all went through. I had the same experience after having a miscarriage. I also found that it was entirely up to you to ask the right questions otherwise you wouldn't be told the full picture or what to expect after losing your baby..for that reason I ended up having a scan 2 more times after the initial one as I was so worried about the very heavy bleeding and about the risk of infection. I mostly foudn the information I needed from this site and others. the most galling thing is that I asked for reassurance at my first booking appt as something just didn't feel right and the nurse could have told me that there was a walk in scan facility in the same hospital..but that would probably have been too much of an inconvenience. Instead I got my hopes up as my 3 months scan was approaching only to lose the baby 4 days before.

octopusinabox · 04/03/2010 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pippi965 · 04/03/2010 21:45

1st time Mums netter!!

Hi i totally agree this needs to be looked at. I had a MMC last May i found out at our 12wk scan that there was no heartbeat and the baby dated 8wks. I was told to wait in the room whilst they call upstairs and update my yellow book whilst all i wanted to do was run hide in a corner and cuddle my husband as we were both absolutly distraught. When we left the room, i was hysterical and had to walk past a huge corridor of 12+ couples all waiting for there scans : (

We were told to go to the maternity ward where a midwife opened the door with two crying babies over her shoulder. The midwife who dealt with us was very supportive and empathetic. However, when we returned for our ERPC (horrible name) we were seated in a waiting room with a teenager who was squabbling with her mum about going in for her 2nd abortion in 6mths, I could of throttled her.

Something definatly needs to be done, it may be everyday for them but its not for us or our familys. No matter the age of the baby it still your baby.

MmeLindt · 05/03/2010 08:01

Pippi
Welcome to Mumsnet. Sorry to hear about your experience, and of the others on this thread. It just shows how this is happening up and down the country to thousands of women.

addictedtomn · 05/03/2010 08:35

i'm so glad that this is going somewhere, although i dont view my experience as bad as some of yours i still had a porter who told me stright after i had the scan that told me the baby had died 'if you just dont think about it, you'll get over it quicker' and then when i was taken to the ward the gyne look at my notes and say 'well no wonder you had a mc' and give me no more information than that.

i was however deeply grateful to the nurse that saw me at a&e who came with me and held my hand for the scan, told the porter off, found me a new one, took me up to the ward and made sure i was comfortable told me of her mc expearences so i didnt feel so alone, and then got in trouble for spending too long away from a&e. i will always be grateful to her for being so kind and amazing when i needed it.

wintera · 05/03/2010 11:49

addictedtomn - I can't complain about the nurses, and staff in the EPU either. They were all fantastic with me and very understanding and supportive. I had one like you who kept comforting me, and stroking my hand. I saw her with both of my miscarriages and she was so nice on both occassions. I ended up feeling a bit sorry for her actually, as she gave me the bad news both times. I kept thinking "this must be an awful part of your job!". With my second I was more prepared after already going through it but with the first I was in floods of tears for ages and couldn't leave the scan room as I was distraught. Nothing - absolutely nothing can compare to being treated well when you are going through something like that. Kindness from the staff is something you remember forever. The NHS should never take that for granted!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/03/2010 12:12

After my MMC was diagnosed, again with a corridor of pregnant women to face, I was told in a small waiting room that the best course of action for me would be to check in upstairs, right then and there, in the maternity ward, to wait for an ERPC.

As I had eaten breakfast and it was about 10AM, they said, 'Well, you might get one today, if not, you can just spend the night there and get it in the morning.'

Right. Spend the night on a maternity unit waiting for you to evacuate my dead baby without so much as a toothbrush when you also know I'm about 80 miles from home.

Thanks for the support!

Was then told you had to check in by 8AM if you wanted to come back, something that wasn't possible for me because I have to use a ferry to get there and it didn't start running until 10 to 7 in winter.

And yes, everyone there for ERPC got to wait on the maternity ward.

And if they operated on you late, it was spend the night in a maternity ward.

JanandJess · 06/03/2010 20:44

About time! The way my 3 miscarriages were handled caused me to seriously consider suicide. Had 2 'missed' miscarriages, where there is no bleeding just a horrible feeling that all is not right... it can still be very difficult to get an early scan, after 14 weeks my doctor referred me to the EPU where I was told the baby had died 6 or 7 weeks before. (He referred to the loss of my precious baby as natural wastage and the pharmacist at my local chemist said it wasn't really a miscarriage as 'it' had died before 12 weeks - WTF? ) My 3rd pregnancy ended at 22 weeks when he was discovered to have very severe birth defects. We had little choice; either wait for a still birth or be induced. My son was delivered after 9 hours labour, I had a EPC and was hurriedly discharged on Boxing Day with some paracetamol and a phone number of an advice line that was closed for Christmas and New Year. We finally had our beautiful baby girl in January last year, but we won't be trying for another as our previous experiences were too distressing to risk our current happiness.

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