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Original poster

Haiti - how much to tell a 5 and 6 year old?

23 replies

NoSnowHereBoo · 20/01/2010 21:34

I was talking to some friends the other day and I metioned that I hadn't told my 5 & 6 year old DDs anything about what had happened as they just seem a bit little to be exposed to such upsetting news.

It seems I am the only one!

Admittedly it was the parents of boys who had had the most discussions about the mechanics of an earthquake and buildings falling down etc, but still it made me wonder whether I am being a bit overprotective?

I have now told them tiny little bit as they're having a collection at school but I really glossed it over.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Morloth · 21/01/2010 12:38

DS is 5 and doesn't know about it. I can't think of any reason for me to tell him. If he found out about it from another source then I would have a talk with him if he wanted to. But there isn't anything he can do/learn from it at 5 so I just don't see the point in bringing it up.

domesticextremist · 21/01/2010 12:42

With my ds (6) if he asks about anything then we have a proper discussion about it. If he doesnt then I dont bring it up.

He does know about Haiti becuase they have been discussing it at school and he came home talking about 'charity people not having any food'.

mollythetortoise · 21/01/2010 16:30

i talk to my dd alot about what is going on in the news - she often reads the paper with me and asks what the stories are about - obviously I don't tell her all the gory details all the time.

She doesn@t seem to be adversly affected as i tell her good things too but I do wonder if I tell her too much.

I do think natural disasters are different from bad people stories (ie. I watered down the baby P story completely)

cory · 21/01/2010 17:32

I think there is no reason to tell them at this age if they are not going to find out about it anyway. If they are (through school, through the news etc), then I think it is a good idea to give them a version that they can handle, and as a parent you are the best person to do that. When they are older, I think there is more of a case for keeping them informed about the world generally speaking. But imho that can wait at least until junior school.

Marne · 21/01/2010 17:37

Dh told me off for letting dd1 (almost 6) watch it on the news a few days ago and said it would scare her, he also said she wouldn't understand, dd1 looked up and said 'I do understand, its when the ground shakes, causes cracks in the floor and knocks down buildings' .

Dd1 enjoys watching the news. I don't like to hide things from her but dh would like to protect her as he thinks it will scare her.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 21/01/2010 17:43

We have talked to DS1 about it - he is nearly 6
we talked about the mechanics of earth quakes,
about the buildings falling down and about the number of people who now have no where to live and no food or water.

I think it is important that he appreciates his calm and settled life. We talk to him about al sorts of things in the news - we talked at length about obama being the first black president and why that is outstanding.

We have also talked about the best scenario with things are that those in comfortable/fortunate situations help those who aren't.

Disenchanted3 · 21/01/2010 17:46

My eldest is 5 and I haven't told him.

He has years to worry about the horrible things that happen in the world, for now I'm letting him be a child.

MrsMattie · 21/01/2010 17:47

My almost 5 yr old caught a bit of it on the 6 o clock news at his granny's the other day and was horrified. Quickly turned off television and explained very briefly what an earthquake was and that it had knocked down lots of people's homes and that lots of other countries were trying to help.

He has asked a few more questions about it that tell me he is very anxious about it.

To be honest, I wish he hadn't have seen the TV. I wouldn't have told him about it otherwise.

meemar · 21/01/2010 17:48

I have a 6 year old and haven't told him. I wouldn't unless he asked, which is unlikely.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 21/01/2010 17:50

DD (6) knows there has been an earthquake and that has made a lot of peoples houses fall down and they are struggling because they have lost so much and that they have little to no food and water and that people are raising money etc to send to them for these things.

This mainly came from her teacher as they are going to be doing something to be raising money.

She hasn't asked anymore questions yet it had not occured to me to tell her but I have no issue with her knowng and really to her it doesn't compute into the upsetting tragedy that it is as far as she is concerned they are doing something nice to help people in trouble.

Longtalljosie · 21/01/2010 19:37

Do mention, though, that the UK would never have an earthquake on that scale. My teacher failed to do this when we did earthquakes (I was 6/7ish) and volcanoes and I was really scared there'd be one

youwillnotwin · 21/01/2010 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShinyAndNew · 21/01/2010 20:05

Dd1 has just turmed 6 and likes to watch newsround. So she knows about it. Like another poster I think it is important that she realises how lucky she is to live such a stable, priveledged country and I often tell her things that are in the news.

She knew about MM, alhough that wasn't something I told her about, just something she picked up on due to the high level of publicity. I don't think she was affected by it, but she did ask about 'the little girl who was pinched' a few days ago.

Themasterandmargaritas · 21/01/2010 20:10

I'm with BTPGS and it's perhaps because we live overseas,that I think it's important that they have an understanding of what is going on in the world, even at 5. I don't think children are as shocked by some of the news as we who can understand the whole and enormous implications of some news items are.

We listen to the news on the radio in the morning, so they are not subjected to any overwhelming or sensationalised images.

biglips · 21/01/2010 20:11

my dd1 knows about it as they have talked about it in her class - reception.

nancy75 · 21/01/2010 20:14

dd is 4 and her school is doing a bring and buy sale tomorrow to raise money for the earthuqake appeal. we have just had a chat about it tonight. i explained what an earthquake is - ground shaking and that it hardly ever happens and has never happened here. i told her its not something for her to be frightened about, but did explain how the people that live there had their houses fall down and couldn't get food ect. (she said if i give them some toys that will be good, they can go to sainsburys and do some shopping). i think its important to explain the best you can, if they ask, but obviously be careful about how you word it.

slim22 · 22/01/2010 06:47

they regularly have charity days at school.

There is no escaping it where we are, the tsunami, the china earthquake, the philippines floods, the indonesian volvanic eruptions...
Children know about these because a lot of teachers and seniors are involved in rebuilding community projects during school holidays. They do talk about it in school and appeal for help regularly.

This year for Xmas, instead of giving the children the usual gingerbreadman, the teacher wrote a lovely card wishing them well and saying she was giving money to her cambodia charity orphanage instead. We mums thought it was a bit OTT but the children all went "awwwwww!"

This has certainly facilitated our job as parents.

My son is nevertheless anxious about natural disasters and often asks wether they occur where we live. So we do a lot of reassuring of course.
I honestly don't think I would have really elaborated unless I had been prompted to by the school's stance on this.
I would have tried to instill some sense of community involvement (ie: giving toys to orphanages etc....) but would not have been graphic about human impacts of such disasters I think. Not until he was about 8-10 and much more secure about the possible occurrence of such random disasters.
Am glad of the earlier awakening though. He is now fully aware that wealth and luck is not evenly distributed on this planet and knows that we can make a difference.

Original poster
NoSnowHereBoo · 22/01/2010 14:54

They seem to have coped quite well with it actualy and only DD1 who has inherited my anxious tendencies(!) has expressed any concern.

I was so impressed by them both running to their money boxes this morning though to get their money for mufti day. The school had suggested giving £1 each, but they both gave £3 of their own money voluntarily!

Thankyou for your thoughts - I think I will start introducing a bit more very watered down news, certainly to DD1. I suppose that if they don't learn about things gradually it could make news more frightening when they are exposed to it?

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 22/01/2010 14:58

DD1 is nearly 6 and they had an early pancake day at school yesterday to raise money. The school must have talked about it a bit, i just said "there has been an earthquake (no details) and buildings fell down, people died and the people who didn't die don't have enough food now as everything was ruined and we have to help them".

if i tell DD anymore than that she will worry herself sick and be upset at random times as she starts thinking about it. She is very sensitive, i am the same, can barely watch the news.

MadamDeathstare · 22/01/2010 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slim22 · 22/01/2010 16:45

BTW, why do they call it mufti day?

Morloth · 22/01/2010 17:12

Do you know slim22 I have never really thought about it!

Wiki says. So there is my learnings for today!

slim22 · 22/01/2010 17:20

Thanks morloth!
I speak arabic and could guess what it meant but could not understand the relevance in british schools in this day and age.
We live in a former colony, but did not realise the term was also still used in the UK.
Sounds a bit dated and non politically correct to me.

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