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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Tesco Christmas card making fun of children with red hair

377 replies

Northernlebkuchen · 15/12/2009 11:48

here

I can't believe they think they should sell something like this. So glad this woman got them taken out of our local tesco - now what about the rest of the chain?

I know two children horribly bullied because of their (beautiful) red hair. It's just the same as any other discrimination - breeds hate and misery

OP posts:
MaggieAnFiaRua · 15/12/2009 15:26

same goes for being particularly short or particularly tall... there's no royal protection for the prevention of dodgy comments about short people though.

Mishy1234 · 15/12/2009 15:48

Totally unacceptable. I do think adults perpetuate the problem though, by making jokes etc.

I fell out with my DH once when he made a comment about a friend's baby having red hair. Let's just say, he was in the dog house for rather a long time and hasn't made a similar joke since.

webwiz · 15/12/2009 16:02

DD1 has beautiful red hair and even though I spent I spent years telling her how fabulous it was by the time she was about 14 she absolutely hated it. It was a bit difficult to go into school and complain about people who shouted ginger insults from across the playground as she didn't even know who they were. Adults are no better - I've been completely shocked by some of the comments made by people both friends and strangers. In fact if I didn't actually have a red headed child I wouldn't believe how badly they can be treated. After several years of dyeing her hair allsorts of colours (including red because if it isn't natural you get left alone )she has finally at 18 got the confidence to go back to her natural hair colour.

CupOChristmasCheerfulYank · 15/12/2009 16:03

I think red hair is gorgeous and wish I had it! I've tried to dye it but if you aren't lucky enough to be born with it it looks odd. There is red hair on DH's side and for awhile it looked as if DS was going to be ginger, but no luck, he's a platinum blond for now!

We don't really use the term ginger here and I don't think it's as big a deal, but there is the "humorous" ( ) phrase, "Smack him like a red-headed stepchild."

mathanxiety · 15/12/2009 16:06

"Why don't you do what anyone else would do and tell her she's not 'different' she's special, that anyone can have black, brown and blond hair but not many are blessed with the colour she has."

Atlantis, do you have any idea what would happen if a child's comeback line was that she wasn't different, she was 'special'? How lame. LOL, but in a sad way. Everyone knows, rationally, how many varieties of hair there are. Bullying doesn't happen on a rational level.

CupOChristmasCheerfulYank · 15/12/2009 16:19

You're right math, it'd be far better if she gave a withering glance and said, "shut up, I like my hair," and moved on as if it didn't bother her a bit. If you project enough confidence they really will leave you alone.

ThumbleBells · 15/12/2009 16:21

I'm sure this has already been said but I doubt very much Atlantis has any personal experience with red hair.

When you have it, you do tend to lose your sense of humour over this sort of ignorant stupid bullying, because you have had to put up with it for so bloody long it is fucking BORING, as well as hurtful.

And "special" can be taken the wrong way as well, since Special Needs is a common term. Yay, let's all label redheads as "special" - make them even more outcast. It's not special, it's NORMAL for a certain percentage of the population.

Am ranting now, sorry if I offend anyone who DOES tell their redheaded DC that they are special, I just don't think it would necessarily be a helpful comeback line when some git is being an ignorant spiteful bully. It could just add fuel to the flames.

Northernlebkuchen · 15/12/2009 16:26

I don't see how it is different to racism? It's the perjorative judging of a person based on a physical attribute and is associated with attacks on that person. It's ignorant and hateful and very deeply ingrained in our society.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 15/12/2009 16:27

It's hard (not necessarily impossible though) for children with red hair to project a huge amount of confidence, because often, along with the hair colour, goes a propensity to blush. Maybe this is what bullies find attractive?

HappyWoman · 15/12/2009 16:30

alas children will find something to pick on. As a child i had very white hair and glasses - and had the usual jibes.

As a young adult i had blonde hair and a large chest - not bullying then but people certainly treated me like a 'dumb' blonde (which i dont think i am - i have a MSc!).

My daughter dislikes her hair at the moment (i think it is wonderful - its a dark blonde) but then i think all her friends dislike something about themselves anyway.

I can see that the card could cause offense - but no more than some of the other cards around.

The word 'bully' is used imo too often.

ThumbleBells · 15/12/2009 16:35

Definitely not limited to the UK, it is common here in Australia too. But then much of Australia's culture is based on British culture, so not really surprising then.

And I would like to say to MNHQ that I don't find their shortening of this thread to "Redhead bashing - why so acceptable?" particularly helpful either - it bloody ISN'T acceptable, nor SHOULD it be.

shonaspurtle · 15/12/2009 16:42

Well lets see:

"Santa loves all children, even short ones"
"Santa loves all children, even tall ones"

Doesn't work does it? Because we all know that it's the ginger baby that nobody loves

So, what they're doing is taking that stupid, boring thing (that many, many people like to say to you btw when you're a pregnant redhead or have a readheaded dp) about heaven forfend you have a red haired child...and putting it on a Christmas card.

How Fucking Hillarious.

scifi2 · 15/12/2009 16:48

I think it is racist and probably aimed at those with celtic origins e.g. Irish, Welsh & Scots. I have a red-haired daughter and her hair was always admired in Scotland where it is more common. However, in recent years I have noticed the term "ginger" being used as a term of abuse in the school playground.It is becoming more common because it is tolerated by adults.

lumpasmelly · 15/12/2009 16:54

As a red head who suffered loads of abuse as a kid and also a teenager, I do worry for my 2 young sons who are probably going to get the same stick for the colour of their hair (and the colour of their skin as its so pale). I do remember getting quite upset about it and feeling "different" to the other kids.....hence I do find this sort of thing offensive - you would never get away with saying the same thing about someone in another ethnic minority group, and lets face facts, its the same thing...its about colour. Its just another form of racism as far as I'm concerned.

scifi2 · 15/12/2009 16:56

I have just been looking at the Telegraph discussion regarding this. I can't believe what a nasty ignorant bunch Telegraph readers appear to be. I am so depressed

Fibilou · 15/12/2009 17:07

Atlantis, you clearly don't have red hair. My husband was badly bullied at school because of his hair so I'm afraid we don't find it as funny as you do.

Do you think Pakistani people shouldn't mind being called Pakis if it's just meant as a joke ?

CupOChristmasCheerfulYank · 15/12/2009 17:24

I really was surprised to find out what a big deal it is there. As I said, here we do get the odd "red-headed stepchild" comment but I don't know anyone who's actually bullied for having red hair, and we almost never hear the term "ginger". (A notable exception would be the South Park episode featuring "gingerkids", but that show's not really known for tact...)

One of the most popular boys at my old high school had red hair and he was considered completely gorgeous...I snapped him up as my date for prom Jr year and I well remember the jealousy among the other girls.

midnightexpress · 15/12/2009 17:28

That's it.

Squishabelle · 15/12/2009 17:31

This Tesco card is bloody disgusting. Gingerism seems to be worse today than ever. It makes me sick and is as bad as racism and should be made illegal. I was horribly bullied as a child and am glad my children arent ginger although I love the colour. I just couldnt bear the thought of them having to be picked on, bullied and made fun of as I was.

AliGrylls · 15/12/2009 17:32

I was bullied because of the fact that my face and arms were covered in freckles. For a long time I really hated them no matter how much my parents tried to tell me that they were pretty.

It is true though that once you start to have proper confidence these sorts of things start to bother you less - once boys started telling me I was pretty, I started to believe it and then I actually started to build proper confidence. After that no-one can really touch you when they say things about your looks. Even when DH tells me I have a good jewish nose (and that is not racist because he is actually jewish).

Unless the bullying starts to get serious (as in starts to get physical / aggressive) I can't think that it is always bad - it does help to build a little bit of a thick skin and also teaches children to learn how to deal with people who are actually awful. These skills come in quite useful in the world of work and adult life where they will almost definitely need it.

TishTosh21 · 15/12/2009 17:35

I heard about this on the radio on the way home from work, i was outraged

I cant believe Tesco allowed this to be on its shelves in the first place, my DP is a redhead and he is so lovely I dont know why people feel its ok to take the piss out of them, they are people with feelings just like us!

NancyDrewRocks · 15/12/2009 17:44

You cannot liken teasing due to ginger hair to racism. You just can't. It is incomparable.

Compare ginger taunts to fat taunts, or skinny taunts, or thick taunts but not to racism. It shows you up to to be hopelessly naive and somewhat pathetic.

And wasn't the card ironic anyway....

Fibilou · 15/12/2009 17:52

Oh, ironic, is it Nancy ? So I guess if I wrote "Santa loves everyone, even pakis/niggers/jews" in an ironic way, that would be ok would it ?

Unless you or your loved ones have ginger hair you can't possibly understand why people find it offensive and racist. Rather in the same way as Bernard Manning thought it was fine to poke fun at other races. Or that the majority of white people think racism isn't really a problem - because they don't have to live with it and don't actually experience it.

Fibilou · 15/12/2009 17:53

and i'm not sure that children understand the various shades of Jimmy Carr style "irony"

midnightexpress · 15/12/2009 17:54

'You cannot liken teasing due to ginger hair to racism'

Why not? What is the difference?